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I am curious about people's ideas about engagement rings.

Would your ideal be a one Ct or more solitaire diamond from Tiffanys? One of their colored stone rings? No engagement ring? Something else?

What do you think of buying vintage or pre-owned?

Also at an older age it occurred to me that the old "rule" of "2 months salary" is a lot more for most people at age upper 50s than it was at age 21.

Personally, if I were ever to do it again (which, at 54, I'm saying it's a "No thanks" from me ), I would definitely go non-traditional and simple. I prefer silver and I really don't care for diamonds. I'd probably get something from Etsy.

It's funny - I was talking to one of the bunch last night about my engagement ring from ex-asshat. It was only 1/3 of a carat but I sure loved that thing. I remember when I showed it to my XMIL for the first time - I was so excited! All she said was that a marriage is made here (pointed to her heart) and here (pointed to her head), not in a ring. Well, we see how THAT ended up.

[This message edited by wildbananas at 3:28 PM, Friday, December 17th]

One thing that has gained steam over the last few years is the idea of ethically-mined or lab-made diamonds. It's easy to do the research on how these diamonds are different than traditionally mined diamonds that exploit workers in Africa, where the majority of diamonds have come from.

My daughter, who was married this past year, chose a lab-made diamond for her engagement ring. They are less expensive than mined diamonds.

I didn’t want an engagement ring at the time. However my H did buy me an emerald ring because he wanted to.

He also gave me beautiful pieces of jewelry when our children were born and that meant more to me.

But that’s just me.

I would look for something non-traditional if it were me.

Honestly, im separated (sort of ? I dont even know… i guess mentally on my way out… ) but i daydream about meeting a nice man one day and what my new engagement ring will look like.

It would be art nouveau style with some sort of enamel, and soft floral details, and a quality stone. Or several stones.

I look on line for what I imagine, and havent found it yet.

Would prefer vintage and used. I dont want a new ring

[This message edited by Gottagetthrough at 11:24 PM, Friday, December 17th]

My current engagement ring is a small diamond in a gold setting that was popular in the 1980s. It reflects the reality of our financial situation at the time and also the fact that we suddenly decided to get engaged in the middle of the post-A shit show. It doesn't fit my taste anymore and carries some difficult memories. I rarely wear it.

We're in a pretty good place now, and I'd like to reset the diamond in an art deco style platinum ring with calibre sapphires. That's going to have to wait a while, though, because we need to be more concerned with college tuitions and medical bills than fine jewels.

Right now, the ring on my finger is a simple sterling infinity band with cubic zirconias in a channel setting. It cost $6 at an antique silver shop where my H and I had a fun afternoon rooting through trash and finding some treasure. The other stuff we bought was more intrinsically valuable than this ring, but it's pretty and carries happy memories. I smile every time I look at it.

I have a lab made emerald that I absolutely adore. I also recommend lab made as they are cheaper and you avoid the ethical issues associated with mined gemstones.

I also love having an emerald instead of a diamond - it's nice to have some color with my ring

I took my mother’s diamond from her engagement ring and small ones from a cocktail ring my dad bought her one year (the 80s 😄) and had them reset in a wide band with a European shank. We designed it together. I didn’t want an engagement ring but did want something more than a plain band for a wedding ring. It is my favorite piece of jewelry that I have ever owned.

I went with a 1 carat with Melle diamonds on both the engagement ring and the wedding band made to fit against it. Did better than with the 1st wife's in my view but I had full control this time around.

[This message edited by grubs at 8:50 PM, Sunday, December 19th]

Duplicate

[This message edited by grubs at 8:49 PM, Sunday, December 19th]

It should be whatever you want it to be.
Personally my engagement ring was bought when we were still in college and poor it was a 3/4 carat stone but it was a beautiful and unique setting. Filigree sidesand the stone set partially down in.
It was what I wanted and never saw anyone with anything similar and it being unique was important to me.

2 Christmases ago he bought me a simple white gold diamond inset band. I love it. It is small it doesn't get hung up on anything. It fits my lifestyle and needs.

Now if I for some reason I had a new partner and a new relationship I dont think I'd ever want a big ring. I'd much prefer that $$$ be spent on vacations to warm sunny beaches and scuba diving.

But if you want a 4 carat platinum ring then that is exactly what you should have.

What do you love? Get that. It should be you.

Funny I am not in a relationship but I know what I want. John Hardy has a band that has a line of tiny tiny sapphires and a line of tiny tiny diamonds. That’s my pick. I May even buy it myself someday. If I ever wear rings again.

I am enjoying the different opinions!!

One of the weird things about the things I went through is that I don't know what I want so it might be a fun idea to explore a little!