This is awesome for you
In addition
Why is he not giving you more attention? That is why you had that thought, because you are sure that HE would treat that so and so better than his own FAITHFUL beautiful wife.
That's his problem to solve.
So yes it's great you managed to have a nice day, but why is he not fixing the cause of the trigger in the first place.
Why are you dealing with this all on your own.
R is about reconciliing after infidelity with the GOAL of having a 'normal healthy marriage again'
Well you don't have the normal part (YET) because there WAS infidelity,
And in 'normal healthy marriages' where there was no infidelity, wives do NOT HAVR to think about how their husbands WOULD have treated some random woman BETTER than them.
But HE TOOK AWAY this comfort from YOU, and thus you are not in one of THESE marriages.
You're in the ones where he's supposed to HELP YOU at the VERY LEAST with the horrible pain of triggers he's BURDENED you with,
so you don't have to pretend you're in a normal marriage by not talking about this or pretending it didn't happen.
He should be giving you all the attention that you need, DEFINITELY more than he did HER.
So you don't have the triggers in the first place.
If he showed more interest in you and went with you, you wouldn't have had this particular trigger. It is his fault you have a reason to have triggers in the first place and it is his fault you had this trigger this time.
I for one am sick of BS having to deal with triggers on their own- no they DON'T have to - with WS taking no responsibility or accountability for what THEY caused.
It's like tripping over a banana peel that he deliberately and carelessly left on the floor. Why should YOU have always PICK UP the banana peel instead of HIM just
NOT LEAVING IT HERE for you to fall.
Or YOU falling and PICKING yourself ul when he's RIGHT THERE and doesn't bother to help you.
Or not even APOLOGISING for leaving it there for you to fall.
Do you see how messed up this is. If it was actually a banana peel or he spilled water on the floor or something like literally he did.
You would be annoyed, and he would apologise if he was a decent person (although I maintain that WS who abuse their spouses with infidelity are not decent people because decent people wouldn't do that of course) he would apologise.
So why would we expect a WH to apologise for causing leaving something for her to fall in reality like a banana peel.
But not emotionally like a trigger.
No one ever says, you need to get over him leaving banana peels on the floor. You can't bring up bring up that he KEEPS doing that, forever.
YOU long suffering wife, need to be BETTER at remembering to pick up the banana peels even though he leaves them in different places and you can never tell when or where he'll leave them.
And if you fall you need to get over it and get used to picking yourself up even though he doesn't need to get better at stopping the hurtful and careless leaving of the banana peels over, and over again
