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My wh has this thing about liking pages in Facebook of sexy woman or models etc. I've told him it pisses me off as some of them are pretty explicit and he used to, if not still does, look at porn, which is a big no no.

Hes putting time and effort into looking at this online stuff and not doing anything WITH HIS WIFE!

So I wrote a short email telling him once again hes crossing a boundary and fine whatever but I'm going to start doing exactly what hes doing by liking and following pages of Male models and I'm going to even tag him to show him just how he doesnt measure up to the men I'm drooling over.

And I did.

I know I know totally childish and not productive but it felt good.

Hell here I come lol

More like "Hell hath no fury"

You should one up him every chance you get on the likes. LOL

I was expecting a bunch of 2×4's actually lol

Ya it's the hell health no fury feeling.

Makes me so angry that he can spend all that time and energy looking up those woman and not give any effort with the woman who is right here with him.

Part of me wants to be downright cruel and post on the ones he likes that they are way above him and not something he could get, but he'd take that as a challenge.

I have to wonder if he does this shit just to see if I check up on him. Hes once again sent a message through messenger to an old female co worker. I know she shut him down before, saw the response. But they could be using the "secret conversation " feature and I'd be none the wiser.

I'm going to continue to like and tag him in posts just to irritate him for a bit. It'll keep me from drinking myself stupid today.

Honestly, the only 2x4's you need are to really break bad.

To me, your restraint is admirable.

Even a blind squirrel gets a nut sometimes, but really, married father of 4 liking Facebook chics?

I'm sure they're lining up to replace you.

I agree, have all the fun you can with it, or smack him upside the head. I'd put drinking last, I guess.

I assume he'd have no trouble if you created a "tasteful" page of your own and picked up a few likes?

Do you have daughters, what age would he deem it appropriate for them to have a page? What age should their admirers need be to like their pages?

Maybe he makes a page and you two can keep score on likes. Not being crass, but I'm betting on your page wins, like 10-1.

He couldn't be a hypocrite could he? These activities are ok for him, but no one else in the family (marriage).

I was expecting a bunch of 2×4's actually lol

NOPE! Sometimes I think giving one a taste of their own medicine (without crossing the line into actually having an A of course) is just what the doctor ordered.

I am out putting up fencing in the goat pen cause the bastards spent last night on my deck and shit everywhere so I'll reply as i take breaks.

I assume he'd have no trouble if you created a "tasteful" page of your own and picked up a few likes?

Do you have daughters, what age would he deem it appropriate for them to have a page? What age should their admirers need be to like their pages?

Maybe he makes a page and you two can keep score on likes. Not being crass, but I'm betting on your page wins, like 10-1.

He couldn't be a hypocrite could he? These activities are ok for him, but no one else in the family (marriage).

He would shit his pants. He hates even another guy just looking at me.

What pisses me off is that while most of the pages and woman he looks at are adults one recent page is ...not in my opinion very old. She looks 14.

Now years ago one of the guys he works with then in his early twenties told wh he was at a party and screwed a chick who said she was 16. Turns out she was 14. Sadly still in the legal range so...but wh always bugged this guy about having screwed a 14 year old.

Our oldest dd is 12.

This newest page creeps me out. Hes looking at a fucking child and hes in his late 30's.

He wouldn't be ok with men looking at our daughters but here he is doing the same thing to someone elses.

Note: this is why my kids arent on any social media.

NOPE! Sometimes I think giving one a taste of their own medicine (without crossing the line into actually having an A of course) is just what the doctor ordered

After 12 years I'm so tempted. I.live with five other people and yet feel so alone. If I could give wh even the slightest taste of his own crap I would in a second.

If it's ok for him to look at and especially "like" these pages, then he's ok with the women who put up the pages.

Your a woman, I'd even bet he'd admit you're more mature mentally/emotionally than him.

So, it's ok for you to post photos also. On a separate, anonymous page of course.

Be polite and let him suggest poses, outfits and let him take the photos of you. (he has more experience looking after all, so he knows what's more popular.)

You should start a page and then call him to the bedroom with the camera and lighting ready just to get the reaction. Lay out potential outfits, the works. I'd push him to the ragged edge, maybe beyond.

I would have never in my wildest dreams "liked" sexy photos on Facebook while I was married to my late wife.

He's a WH, I mean WTF? I say again, WTF?

I'm estimating this is an hour of your time, but he might think about it for the next year.

Eff him I'd say on this.

Just occurred to me, you may have found a route to some more "interest" in you after he sees your "new" side.

You...have fun!

Why is he even doing that? I'm divorced and single and I don't do that.

..DH..

WH is in his late thirties.. this is only his age..

His mental development is stunted.. he is closing in on 15, maybe 16 on a good day.

Sad really, you have to take care of 5 kids.

Take care young lady!

smy

Why is he even doing that? I'm divorced and single and I don't do that

Well it could be what smy wrote below. Hes got the mental maturity of a horny teenager.

His mental development is stunted.. he is closing in on 15, maybe 16 on a good day.

Oh I wouldn't even give him that much credit...theres just not something right with his brain. To have a wife who has been through hell by his own doing, stay and be faithful only to desire the fantasy woman of the online world. Ugh!

Ya hes just not right in the head!

Sad really, you have to take care of 5 kids.

Ummm not anymore. I have four children and a manchild wayward husband who wants a mommy figure. Thanks but no. I no longer "take care of him". If he can spend time drooling over other woman he can take care of himself!

Take care young lady!

Thank you. I got the goat pen done, as done as I can for noe and hopefully this will contain them. Feels good doing something I've had on my To Do list for years lol

My children are all in their 20’s and unfortunately were all FB friends with STBXWH and saw everything that WH liked, reposted and followed. It was disgusting that my children witnessed their father being a total creep online.

I asked WH if he was proud or even comfortable with our children seeing this. WH Is 57 now but his IQ and EQ is well below.

2 children have blocked him. DS who still lives with WH follows all his posts and is constantly complaining to me and fighting with his father about how embarrassing his behaviour is.

WH is befriending 20 something year olds. It’s so wrong in every way.

So ask your H, whether he’s ok with your children seeing his online activities.

None of our children have social media and have limited supervised online time.

That said I have struggled with maybe one day telling them of their father's actions. I would prefer not to.

I dont think he would be happy if they knew what things hes done.

Not childish on your part!

Fighting fire with fire

DragnHeart, your children are not old enough now, but when my Father passed away I wished he had FB or similar from the early part of his life as we knew very little about that time and he rarely spoke about his life. I would have loved to be able to get an insight into that younger man.

I believe that you shouldn’t do anything online that you wouldn’t be proud of or do in real life.

Is your online life a true reflection of who you really are?

Apache, I really really like the way you think. You are "street justice", Just like me. (Well, now anyway, post shitty marriage).

And I love those dick bag men who ogle other women, but lose their shit if another man looks at you. Reminds me of the men that swear they prefer natural women who are very little makeup and jeans and t-shirts...but then their eyeballs pop out of their heads at red lips and fake eyelashes and skirts and heels strolling on by... That's code for "I don't want any man looking at you the way I look at these other women." Hypocrite.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this.

Seriously, read Apache's comments again. He's got some great suggestions.

ETA:. Dragn, I love what you have already done. Keep doing it unless he stops his nonsense. What has his reaction been?

[This message edited by WhoTheBleep at 6:58 PM, September 26th (Saturday)]

I believe that you shouldn’t do anything online that you wouldn’t be proud of or do in real life.

Is your online life a true reflection of who you really are?

The only social media I have is facebook. Use it mainly to keep in contact with old friends. And while I dont post alot of personal stuff (mainly just share things I find interesting) I have posted things that I dont regret but did apparently offend people. So I am wary of what I post. I dont sugar coat things or make it look like things are all cupcakes and Rose's.

Honestly I'm more open and honest about my life here than there.

Dragn, I love what you have already done. Keep doing it unless he stops his nonsense. What has his reaction been?

He hasnt acknowledged any of this in person. He responded in text when I told him to check his email with "fine". Not a word since.

He has deleted the Facebook activity of liking the most recent pages and the message sent in messenger to the former female co worker. As if deleting it is like he didn't do it. I have that all saved in screen shots so...

So another boundary I set has been crossed; no deleting stuff. And he wont acknowledge anything. So I haven't said much and when he got home from work yesterday I asked him to leave me alone so I could just get my work done.

I really dont think I could create a page and do photos of myself like that. Just seems to be lowering myself to a level I find depressing. I will continue to post those make model photos and tag wh just for a bit though lol

Are you trying to make him change? See the error of his ways and stop it? This seems like a profound waste of your time. He is who he is. This is the guy you're married to. The grown-ass married man who openly pervs on women via social media. If it's a real R you're looking for, this isn't on you to make him change. It's on you to say "okay, that's not the kind of man I want to be married to" and make a decision from there. I know you don't want divorce, so it seems like there are only two real options. You can continue to try and make him act like a mature adult via numerous conversations and "I can do it too" things like this. Or, you can say "yeah, he's not so great" and just stay married but not expect him to be anyone other than who he is.

I mean seriously though, a man cheated and he doesn't think that doing this is an epically stupid stooopid cruel ignorant hurful DUMB thing to do that can only result in hurting his wife. What in the actual fuck? I don't think you change this kind of asshattery.

It's more just a bit of childish fun seeing him squirm as I watch a video of men in cowboy hats and boots line dance to a song I like then start ripping off clothes. Man. Did. He. Squirm! Lol

I know nothing I do will ever change him. He needs to want to do that for himself.

And ya it's totally pathetic for him to be oogling over woman like this after devastating me as he has done.

Simply put he doesnt care. Nor does he think I'll know what hes doing. But I do. Have my ways of checking up. And again I believe I mentioned I think he sometimes does it to see IF I'm checking up on him.

I dont plan on being anything but a roommate from now on. In house separation could be good but he wont leave the bedroom and I'm not conceding. Maybe I should.

Hes going to see what life is like without a wife. One of the guys he works with is in a relationship going on now two years with no sex. They are simply roommates.

I'm going to tell wh where I am at in this "relationship" and that it's up to him to make some serious changes for us to be anything but roommates. If hes happy this way then fine. I will no longer play wife. He can chose to live this way or file for D on his own.

Edited to try to fix word but my phone has other idea tonight....grrr

[This message edited by DragnHeart at 7:39 PM, September 27th (Sunday)]

I'm not sure if your actions fit the bill or not, maybe so, but it seems to me one or the other of you needs to change things up, or you, and maybe he, are stuck in limbo hell.

10 years is a looong time.

If you can keep the vomit down, like some 18-20 year old guy(s) posts too.

Might as well have as much fun as you can. Do it in bed next to him.

Can you force a flush on your face, or a little thigh rubbing under the covers? (not his thighs), or use it like the posts make you want to "get off" with him? Lots of options here.