SCCG,
Here's a list of info that I've culled from here and a couple of other places. As in all things here, take what you can use, and ignore the rest.
Below is a list of what a remorseful WS (Wayward Spouse) should look like. There is a difference between remorse and regret. There is a lot of useful information about this and other affair-related topics in the Healing Library in the yellow box on the upper left.
If a WS is truly remorseful, they:
• are non defensive
• examine their motives for their affairs, without blaming their spouses
• accept their roles as healers to their wounded partners
• do not resist breaking off all contact with the affair partner
• show genuine contrition and remorse for what they have done
• make amends and apologize to loved ones
• apologize often, especially the first two years
• listen with patience and validate their spouses’ pain
• allow their spouses a lot of room to express their feelings
• respect the betrayed spouse’s timetable for recovering
• seek to assure spouses of their love and commitment to fidelity
• keep no secrets
• do not maintain close ties with those who condoned the affair
• are willing to be extremely accountable for their time and activities
• frequently check in with spouses as to how they are doing
• are aware of and anticipate triggers of the affair
• are willing to get rid of hurtful reminders of the affair
• don’t minimize the damage the affair had on the children
commit themselves to a long-term plan for recovery, honesty, and Internal (Spiritual) growth
My 1st wife is a serial cheater. She cheated on me at least 10 times that I know of (with 10 different men, that is) over our 4 year marriage. After we divorced, she moved in with my (former) best friend and then married him. During that 10 year marriage, she cheated on him at with at least 30 different men. She married her 3rd husband and had 3 more kids and at least 10 separate affairs. She's still married to him.
Serial cheaters rarely ever stop.
[This message edited by redwing6 at 6:26 PM, July 22nd (Wednesday)]