Thank you very much everyone for your helpful insights. What I am finding is severe analysis paralysis, and the 'perfect' being the enemy of the good enough in some ways. I know nowhere can, or ever could tick every box for this mere mortal, and imagine if you will having an 8" stick, overlayed on a 12" ruler... Can only cover so much, not all, so try as best you can to see where on the ruler you best fit.
I'm very introverted, so a quiet, peaceful place is a must, after living in so many places that are/were not a good fit. Also find myself treating my retirement as a precious object, seemingly having one shot to get it right after so many false starts, and I know this is ridiculous... I was kicked out of my home during divorce, moved many times since, I'm gun shy, frankly weary and want to settle down... But not keep making 'mistakes' with the time that is dwindling by at what seems a rapid pace. I know oneitis is bad, I can always move again, but the thought of this has me frozen, inert.
I know what I want in my head; very modest, small home with privacy and quiet, in a climate I can at least like... Yeah, millions of places like that, and that is the problem... Then I have to figure tax status, med insurance cost, regulations that are a fit (firearm laws), vibe of the area, how close to medical as I age... Geez, I know, I seem crazy
I have considered living abroad, but as mentioned have found regulations for places I might like are very restrictive, the tax and health insurance situation punitive, and to be frank unease at my age being out of it for so long. While married I lived in Germany and it was very nice, and have traveled a lot as well. Maybe as suggested here, have a home base, and do some long overdue solo travel.
I see Idaho mentioned a lot, and I must say I have looked at it a lot. It does seem very nice, a good fit generally, but housing costs seem very high, and I wonder about the political climate? I am pretty much apolitical, and wonder how living in a very bright red state would affect my experience? As for something like AZ... I have really tried to make this work, as I have a brother and sister in Gilbert, who have been there for almost 30 years. They rave about the non-summer seasons, but say I would die in the summer there... My home is 58-60 in the winter, so I have the blood of a viking it seems
I guess I could swing two locations, but I think having a main home, then perhaps renting in a 'snowbird' place might make more sense. If you stuck with me through this long post, thank you, and I look forward to anymore input you good folks may have.