"You can survive this. Talk to others that have"

Shockleader posted 5/18/2020 13:23 PM

Hi everyone,

Looking for your wise help in regard to where should I move to? It's just me, I'm retired early (53), and because I have so many options it seems, the decision is really hard. I will I think have to pass on the south, as I really do not like hot and humid weather, and really think extreme cold for a long while is done for me, although I do better in cold than heat.

Have lived in UT, visited CO, was stationed in WA state, and they seem pretty nice, but really expensive. I know many of these places get pretty hot in the summer, but as with UT it was not very humid. Phoenix type heat and duration is a no-go. Really want a quiet, rural area where I can shoot on my property or close by, not be on top of each other, and just enjoy a simple, slow, low stress life.

As said I do like rural, but in my experience rural can have many issues with theft, a lot of noise, and very, very insular, un-accepting people even when you are a polite, great neighbor not looking to change things. I have been considering parts of OH, MI, OR, and even ME, but would love to hear any suggestions. I know this is kinda vague; just the same it is very appreciated from an adultery survivor (divorce was in 2013) wishing the best for you all. Thank you.

sad81712 posted 5/18/2020 13:38 PM

I like all the things you mentioned. You will find all of that in Idaho. Boise is wonderful! I would move there if I could. Also, the Reno area is nice.

tushnurse posted 5/18/2020 13:52 PM

You will find all of that in Idaho.

My Step-FIL was from Coeur d'Alene. It looks like one of the most amazing places on the planet if you ask me. I have never been but the weather is not hot winters are somewhat temperate. You will be rural and able to do your won thing, but certainly not so far away from the world that you can't get decent medical care etc.

The Northern Midwest can be awesome. IA, NE, Even northern MO is amazing. And the weather is significantly cooler than even just 4 hours south.

I personally will only go south from this point. I don't do cold well at all, and it makes my health issues way worse. Personally I'm thinking closer to the ocean w/ a lake in the next 5-10 years. We shall see.

somanyyears posted 5/18/2020 14:06 PM

..the world is your oyster.. have you thought about living in Paris for 6 months, maybe Vancouver, Canada ..there is good hunting there with the right permits.

Are you willing to leave the USA to find your perfect retirement home? Australia perhaps?

Could you manage 2 homes, located so that you avoid the 'too hot' and 'too cold' times of the year?

Good luck in your search. May it bring you peace and excitement in your retirement years.

smy

Phoenix1 posted 5/18/2020 14:19 PM

My plan is to do the snowbird thing eventually. I'm tired of shoveling snow in winter but hate extreme heat/humidity of summer in far southern places. So spending winters south and summers north sounds ideal to me. My father does that now, except his primary home is south so he does the opposite from the typical and runs north for summer to escape the heat.

wildbananas posted 5/18/2020 14:38 PM

I know you said no Phoenix but I'm throwing this in. I'm in AZ and while the summers are hot, the weather is amazing the rest of the year. If you ever do find yourself ready for a snowbird situation, this one is pretty nice. Lots to do here, inside and outside, and some nice rural areas. We're like one big state park here.

[This message edited by wildbananas at 2:39 PM, May 18th (Monday)]

sewardak posted 5/18/2020 17:24 PM

what an interesting question. Even before the first person answered I thought to myself - Idaho. I've never been, but I know what you've described as what you want is what people say it is like.

Just a word about the northern Midwest - I live here. We have like three good weeks of weather. Otherwise, it's too hot, too cold, too windy, etc. But the people are great, it's inexpensive, the food is good and last week I went for a drive an hour from my house for flowers and was in the land of horse and buggies. You can leave your house and car open. People help each other.

At any rate, I was thinking where we would retire today as well... probably we'll be snowbirds in Florida as we love water. We'll keep our large house here for family gatherings and our lake home for summer use.

Lionne posted 5/18/2020 21:52 PM

Personally, I could never live far from the ocean.

Are you willing to leave the USA to find your perfect retirement home? Australia perhaps?

We investigated this in 2016. Canada won't have us unless we meet some very stringent financial thresholds and the only reason we could potentially live in Aus is that my husband's mother was Australian. They are also very careful about immigration. New Zealand, too.

Travel! There are so many beautiful places in the states. My first choice would be Kauai if I could afford it...

Happy hunting.

Shockleader posted 5/19/2020 06:57 AM

Thank you very much everyone for your helpful insights. What I am finding is severe analysis paralysis, and the 'perfect' being the enemy of the good enough in some ways. I know nowhere can, or ever could tick every box for this mere mortal, and imagine if you will having an 8" stick, overlayed on a 12" ruler... Can only cover so much, not all, so try as best you can to see where on the ruler you best fit.

I'm very introverted, so a quiet, peaceful place is a must, after living in so many places that are/were not a good fit. Also find myself treating my retirement as a precious object, seemingly having one shot to get it right after so many false starts, and I know this is ridiculous... I was kicked out of my home during divorce, moved many times since, I'm gun shy, frankly weary and want to settle down... But not keep making 'mistakes' with the time that is dwindling by at what seems a rapid pace. I know oneitis is bad, I can always move again, but the thought of this has me frozen, inert.

I know what I want in my head; very modest, small home with privacy and quiet, in a climate I can at least like... Yeah, millions of places like that, and that is the problem... Then I have to figure tax status, med insurance cost, regulations that are a fit (firearm laws), vibe of the area, how close to medical as I age... Geez, I know, I seem crazy

I have considered living abroad, but as mentioned have found regulations for places I might like are very restrictive, the tax and health insurance situation punitive, and to be frank unease at my age being out of it for so long. While married I lived in Germany and it was very nice, and have traveled a lot as well. Maybe as suggested here, have a home base, and do some long overdue solo travel.

I see Idaho mentioned a lot, and I must say I have looked at it a lot. It does seem very nice, a good fit generally, but housing costs seem very high, and I wonder about the political climate? I am pretty much apolitical, and wonder how living in a very bright red state would affect my experience? As for something like AZ... I have really tried to make this work, as I have a brother and sister in Gilbert, who have been there for almost 30 years. They rave about the non-summer seasons, but say I would die in the summer there... My home is 58-60 in the winter, so I have the blood of a viking it seems

I guess I could swing two locations, but I think having a main home, then perhaps renting in a 'snowbird' place might make more sense. If you stuck with me through this long post, thank you, and I look forward to anymore input you good folks may have.

Superesse posted 5/19/2020 09:42 AM

I am following your query with interest, as I'm doing the same kind of "research." I have a 3-ring binder full of "relocation" data, yet I realize data by itself is never going to answer all our questions.

Several things I've also been looking at:

1. The perfect is the enemy of the good. No place will "have it all," all of the time. We are going to have to accept some trade-offs, just like with everything else in life. (Trouble is, when we have "lost" at the game of life, especially when we've lost more than once, we can often feel like we absolutely must "win it all back" with our next move, but you know, that is similar to a gambler at a casino table in Las Vegas - which can be a very dangerous trap, decision-wise.)

2. You might be suited to combining your exploration with living a "full-time lifestyle" in a motor home! Yes, it does take some level of investment to pull this off, and realizing RVs don't hold their initial asser value, so you never want to be seduced into buying "new." (Besides, there ought to be an absolute glut of used units coming in the RV market soon, I'd think! We just bought an inexpensive 5th wheel travel trailer I hope to use to "see the USA," and I can't wait! After his divorce, my brother also downsized his 4 bedroom house for a 5th wheel travel trailer, and he has happily called it "home" since like, 2005.)

I learned that in some states, you can find "snowbird" communities for people with the means to own a "big rig" (Class A) bus, which can be bought. Owners can then park their rig on their own landscaped lot in a gated community for part or all of each year, whenever they aren't traveling. Gives them the flexibility to stop moving when they tire of it, and some sense of permanence, too. Some are even near great recreational destinations in the Sunbelt. It all sounds so nice!

But ultimately, the most important part of any place is its people, and unfortunately, only direct experience will help you, there. Sometimes we don't appreciate what a place offers us, until we get to another place - and find it's missing!

Anyway, good luck! I am enjoying all the others' suggestions and am benefitting from their warnings, as well!

thatbpguy posted 5/19/2020 11:53 AM

A few suggestions....

Klamath Falls, Oregon. Way off the interstate, old fashioned, just to the lee side of the cascades.... Great place to play and travel from. Housing is reasonable.

LaGrande, Oregon. Drop dead beautiful and everyone is your neighbor.

Bozeman, Montana. It was everything aside from close proximity to the ocean.

If you like ocean towns, Newport, Oregon is fantastic.

I also hear good things about Bellingham, WA.

tushnurse posted 5/19/2020 12:11 PM

Speaking to Suprese's topic about a fifth wheel or camper.....

We bought a used (10 yr old) 5th wheel in Feb. We have used it a couple of times, once in the end of Feb too cold to hook up water, and more recently for 2 weeks at our favorite fishing lake for crappie spawn. We are both working from home, and have a 68 lb, and an 80 lb lab. We worked at the kitchen table during the day and fished in the evenings and weekends, and I have to be honest. It was doable. I thought being on top of each other we may want to run away or sell the dogs by day 3, but they got plenty of exercise, we went for walks in the am, and played fetch on potty breaks.

In fact we are going to another lake next week for a few days to do it again.

While I couldn't live in one full time even if I were alone with my dogs, I could definitely do it part time. We got a 10 yo 5th wheel that was in pristine condition (like the prior owner must have used once). It is a heavy duty high end brand, and we got it for next to nothing. I have already started looking at better ones though because the technology is old in this one, and some of the newer ones everything is electronic, and brighter..... but I digress.

Shockleader posted 5/20/2020 08:43 AM

Thanks again all for your time to reply, and valuable insights. I will look into the specific places you mention thatbpguy in greater detail... I did a quick look, and I must say just from the views, it has my heart pattering. Reminds me a lot of places I lived/visited while in Utah. I do wonder how as an apolitical person, how this might impact my experience... Rabid politics from any side is not something I wish to endure anywhere.

As for RV living, I have considered it a lot. One hurtle is health insurance, domicile, tax situation, and mail. I know many will register the RV in say SD for certain advantages, use some form of service for the mail, and even faith based insurance to allow them to travel.

I love the idea of being so free in an RV to do as I wish, pull-up whenever I want if say I have lousy neighbors, but I also yearn for a place to call home after so long of feeling like a gypsy after divorce. I think the RV rout will be perfect after I find a place to land that is mine.

Thanks again, look forward to learning more.

fooled13years posted 5/21/2020 14:15 PM

If I were to retire today I think I would seriously look at mid-western and northwest potions of Georgia.

I have been hunting in that area and really like it.

LoneTurtle posted 5/21/2020 16:02 PM

The higher elevations of far West Texas, not enough snow to shovel summers are not that hot. I went through several without air conditioning just a fan in the window and dry.

Of course in rural areas your never really local no matter how long you have been there unless you where born there.

[This message edited by LoneTurtle at 4:03 PM, May 21st (Thursday)]

Shockleader posted 5/21/2020 18:55 PM

Thank you fooled13years, and LoneTurtle.

Can you both name, recommend some towns in the geographic areas you mention? Thank you both for your time and help.

jrc1963 posted 5/21/2020 19:14 PM

SE Michigan has everything you're looking for. Plenty of rural, people are gun tolerant, but a short drive to culture and restaurants. People, in my opinion, are accepting and there isn't much crime in that area.

I'm thinking West of Ann Arbor area... North of Ann Arbor is good too.... It doesn't have to be too far west of Ann Arbor either. 12 miles out of Ann Arbor you run into my hometown of Saline. They have ruralish living but with a small town nearby and even a gun/shooting club.

I don't live there anymore, but I visit regularly and have friends in the area and follow the news up there.

One of these days I will go back for good and never leave again!!!

LoneTurtle posted 5/23/2020 06:35 AM

I’m thinking of Alpine, Ft Davis and Marfa TX.

homewrecked2011 posted 5/25/2020 03:48 AM

I used to live in FL and found so many people had 2 home situation for a couple of years before making the big decision to move permanently. Could you rent a place in an area for 3 months to get a feel for the place, keeping your current home for now?

I definitely think 53 is a great age to get settled. One other thought.. perhaps choose a city somewhat close to family in case you need help later. I had knee surgery and it was great to have my sister stop by on weekends to shop for me, do laundry, etc. (I would do the same for her). We live far enough apart that we have our own lives.

[This message edited by homewrecked2011 at 3:51 AM, May 25th (Monday)]

StillLivin posted 5/26/2020 01:21 AM

NM is nice. I've only visited. There summers aren't as bad as Phoenix, but their winters are still mild. Flagstaff and Sedona AZ are also nice and not nearly as hot as Phoenix, but the cost of living mankind of high. I think if inhad the money and were in your situation, I'd buy an RV and live in it for a year. I'd move to a new place after 2 months and check out 6 places that ranked highest on my bucket list. At the end of the year, I'd find my permanent place based off the experience of my visits.