Bigger, cancuncrushed, kickedintheknad,
I 100% agree that this is more about who my WS is rather than details of the A or a passing of a polygraph test. Which is why I don't care, and predicted this would make no difference to me. WS set this up I guess to prove something? I'm not sure what exactly this proves when the behaviors are the same and she's still a liar. I don't care about the passing of a polygraph. I didn't care when she set it up. The damage has been done and she continues to do more. That's nothing a polygraph test will pacify.
The1stWife, WhoTheBleep,Hephaestus2,
Yes, yes and yes! You all are spot on. It's pointless really, the concern is the lies, manipulations, and overall psychologically/emotionally abusive behavior. If that cycle doesn't stop, then seriously, there's nothing left to discuss.
It's literally always the same:
-WS vaguely states an issue she's having
-I offer my thoughts, a compromise, or suggestion for her to resolve or heal issue. OR IC, SLAA, sponsor, etc. offer suggestions to aid in issue.
-WS doesn't like the thoughts, or doesn't want to compromise/seek help/communicate, etc.
-WS then thinks; "I'll do what I want - what makes me feel good, as long as my BS doesn't know about it." (at my expense and WS's expense too if we're honest bc issue is still there and pacified now with unhealthy nothing)
-I find out and feel hurt and repercussions of WS's decisions.
-WS begs, pleads, says sorry, promises to change, 'this is the last time', I love you, tries to do externally kind things.
-If I attempt to protect myself here - then WS threatens suicide, destroys my property, contacts AP, sleeps it off, avoids and pretends like nothing happened, etc, etc, etc.
Rinse, Repeat.
The polygraph test won't make her any different in my eyes, when the cycle above which allowed for me to end up on this site and in this current state to begin with are still there. A person like this robs me of my choices, my voice, my reactions, and my ability to be in 'the know' of situations that directly impact me. Still capable, still destructive, still the same.
[This message edited by maise at 12:35 PM, July 4th (Thursday)]