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havequestions posted 6/15/2019 16:10 PM

I’m not sure if this happened in your case but my ww systematically ruined sex for me over a period of time by making sex less enjoyable each time we had it. Couple that with openly flirting in front of me, sending sexual texts to other men and lying to me, I had no real desire for sex either. My confidence as a man rwas shot and she knew it, she wanted it that way. This is what her mom has done to her dad. I am now getting confidence back. When we were together I consciously avoided interaction with other women, even on a friendly basis. I didn’t really know why. I know now that I was conditioned by my wife to act this way through years of being treated badly if I somehow sent the messsge that my wife wasn’t the epicenter of the whole world. I have had great interactions with many attractive women , some much younger. I haven’t had the confidence to “pull the trigger” with anyone yet but I think I am getting there. Good luck to you.

[This message edited by havequestions at 4:11 PM, June 15th (Saturday)]

kickedintheknads posted 6/18/2019 11:34 AM

I took some advice from several people here. After DDay, I had issues with sex with the WW. All I could see when I saw her naked was her with the AP. Instant turn off. The mental movies were terrible. Then...I made it all about me. If she was comfortable being a slut for the AP, then she could be a slut for me. I got what I needed without much concern for her needs. It may sound crude, but it worked.

Emotionalhell posted 6/18/2019 12:19 PM

I’m not a male, but I believe the trauma of infidelity can cause you to lose your sexual desire. Sex is more than hormones and attraction. There is a lot of emotions and feelings of safety involved.