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BS contacting AP

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JSS1227 posted 5/2/2019 09:12 AM

I emailed and texted the MOW. I told her she was a POS. I told her I was going to do anything and everything I could to destroy her. She apologized. Whatever. It did feel good to get that anger out.
I don't know what my H thought about it.

@cocoplus5nuts I did the exact same. Texted her a few times on d-day and the day after, as I got more details. Called her every name in the book, told her I would destroy her life, that I was contacting her BH, etc. Felt good to get some anger out, but in hindsight, I wish I hadnít warned her...it gave her a chance to go to OBS first and play the victim card, telling him ďJSS is threatening me!Ē (Apparently he had learned of the A a few weeks before, but thought the A had stopped and they had gone NC, he thought they were R). MOW didnít text back until a few days later, after I had finally gotten OBS contact info and informed him that the A never stopped, she had continued to see and fuck my WH even after she was caught. Him and I met up in person to discuss, ask questions, etc. She knew we were meeting, so THAT is when she finally decided to text me and ďapologize for her choicesĒ, while I was sitting there with OBS. Maybe hoping Iíd show her some mercy?? Nope, not happening. I texted her back she couldnít be too sorry, I knew she had just tried to break NC just that morning by sending WH a linked in message (which he immediately forwarded to me). Sent her the screenshot of my WH outing her. Also sent her a video my WH had sent me, in which heís begging me to stay, iím the love of his life, she is nothing to him...that shut her up. Havenít heard from her since. Her and OBS are S and headed for D.

Girl123 posted 5/2/2019 09:28 AM

I didn't contact my husbands APs, because I didn't see any good reason. I didn't know them and I didn't want to engage in drama.

I'm MH so OBS called my husband but he didn't call her back yet. I don't mind them talking because since I confessed I don't have anything to hide anymore.

heartwords posted 5/2/2019 23:08 PM

I wish I had the courage so many of you had. I'm really not good at confrontation and I choke up. I wrote the AP an email which was extremely respectful, hoping she would also confirm my WS stories but never heard back from her, not even an apology. Then I find she's seducing him again. Now I want to out her to her family, post her on shesahomewrecker, and send her nasty things. I'm fighting everyday to keep my composure.

Hurtbeyondtime posted 5/3/2019 01:06 AM

She was a loser home wrecking ho living with her mother.
I showed up on her doorstep and asked to speak with her. Mother said she wasnít home out with friends ... I said funny I didnít know she had friends just married men she fucked.. And by the way isnít thatís her car?
Her mother laughed yes she has lots of boyfriends.. I looked at her intensely and said they arenít boyfriends they are husbands with families !!!
She smiles and said well sheís out with girlfriends.
I answered interesting... because I saw her drive up and no one has come by ? Are they witches traveling by broomstick???
So I yelled her name and told her that if she calls my fWH or contacts him again I make sure she canít ride away on her broomstick ever again.
Then I told the mother what a shity job she did at rearing her daughter and left.

GoldenR posted 5/3/2019 02:29 AM

I did not contact him. He, however, did confront me.

I was so pissed off that my wife had put me through false R...so pissed off of how she treated me and our girls during said false R. She was a mean, hateful person, and i felt like I could do nothing right. So when I found out she was in another A and had been a couple weeks shy of a year, I kicked her out. I was happy he was unattached so he could keep her.

Yet every time she'd call me to argue about nonsense, he would be in the background talking shit all loud. I never addressed it. I mean, I was of the mindset of 'fuck that guy, he's irrelevant'.

But little did i know that she was feeding him lie after lie after lie about me. Telling him that I was calling her, begging her to come home. She'd fight with him and threaten to move back with me bc I still loved her so much I swore I'd do anything if she'd just come home. Also telling him that i said he was lucky i didn't beat his ass, or worse.

All. Lies.

My XWW is a master at pissing people off to the point of seeing red. He finally snapped.

Early one evening as I was taking a nap, I was awoken by the sound of our doorbell. I started drifting back off and then I heard a commotion. My oldest daughter saying things like "No", "Hes asleep", "We're not waking him up". I also heard a man's voice replying to her, but couldn't make out the words. I then heard my youngest daughter scream "GET OUUUUUUTTTT"

I jumped up quickly. Had shorts and a tank top on, no shoes. Ran to the front room and OM was standing there looking all crazy, rage filled eyes. He tells me to come outside to get my ass beat. I told him I didn't know what was going on, but he needed to leave. Now. He responds with a bunch of hate filled curse words. My oldest tells him to please leave bc if I hurt him, then I'd be in trouble with the law and they needed me. He told her, "Shut up you stupid little c***!".

That did it for me. Went outside with him. He tried attacking me, but was clumsy. He was drunk. I finally got ahold of him. Put his arm behind his back, told him to calm down. He wouldn't. He started violently struggling to get loose until his arm broke. He screamed. Kept trying to hit me. I just kept avoiding him. After like 5 mins of this stupid little dance, I got tired of it and hit his arm 3 or 4 times. He went down, crying from the pain. Ther dipshit then called the cops. He wanted them to come arrest me for assault.

Cops come. Talk to me and both daughters. They arrest him. Lol.

I didn't press charges. Didn't want him to lose his job or go to jail. Needed him to be free to keep her with him and not have her hounding me to come home.

That's the story of our first contact.

Found out later that she got him all fired uupn with more lies and that's what prompted him to come over.

These days, many years later, he tries to be my best friend when we happen to be somewhere at the same time (grandkids births, bday parties, etc). Hes still a tool.

[This message edited by GoldenR at 2:29 AM, May 3rd (Friday)]

Charlie99 posted 5/3/2019 05:48 AM

I arranged a Ďmeetingí with her five days after day 1.

She was terrified I would tell her husband, and was more honest with me than he was. I told her she had nothing to worry about if she stayed away from my husband.

I did contact her husband, after D day 2. Then sent him pictures on DDay 3.

I do not regret it. Silly cow to believe my ex husbands lies that I was a pushover.

MamaDragon posted 5/3/2019 08:03 AM

I talked to my WS AP - several times after I discovered her. She begged me to let her be a part of his life - even if it was just a "small" part. She thought since we were kinkier than most that we were Poly and that the only issue I had was that they had went behind my back. I quickly informed her that No, I was an only child and I NEVER learned to share or play well with others.

She was loco and a predator looking for someone to take care of her so she could divorce her husband. They did divorce bc the first thing I did after a total destruction of WS's apartment was to contact her BS. She is now married to a man that looks eerily like my FWS.

Brennan87 posted 5/3/2019 08:07 AM

I found no value in contacting the AP, he's a loser (but my WW is worse, she made vows to me). The only contact we had post DDay was my WW sent her NC text from my phone (not sure why we did this, maybe she had him blocked by then? I don't know). It was short and too the point "it's over, do not ever approach me, call me, speak to me, text me again". I found some sick satisfaction that he replied with "who is this". I mean, how many women were in the hopper? Granted he wouldn't recognize the phone number, but the message is pretty clear to me. What ever we had, we're done. Leave me alone. I was in a bad space and turned to WW and said, weren't you special? He doesn't even know which woman is sending this over. Yes, I could be an ass.

OptionedOut posted 5/3/2019 08:17 AM

Yep. Made WH call her. He put her on speaker phone and told her I was on the call. I started out being pleasant. At this point, WH had already told her they couldn't meet when he'd be in her town 'because I didn't like it.'

Note that at his point, no one mentioned the word affair. Well, I did - to WH. But in the 2 calls to OW that I was privvy to listen in on, he never said affair to OW. He just said that they couldn't see each other because I didn't like it, and that he'd been lying to me about the time they had spent together.

I simply said that I'd heard WH's story about what happened between them, and now I just wanted hers.

She blew up! Angrily, she stated she was OFFENDED that I'd think such a thing. (Um, WHAT thing?) And that she was a GOOD CHRISTIAN WOMAN and she was OFFENDED.

I swear, she used the Christian thing at lest three times and I think the word offended at least half a dozen times.

She said "he was a mentor to her, and she wouldn't allow me to think otherwise."

Said, "He's like old! He's like what? 50 or something?"

The above is lame because he is 5.5 years older than her, and I'm 5.5 years old than WS. That comment was for ME, not him.

She just kept insisting the same thing over and over - that he was a mentor, that everyone who knew her knew she was a Christian, that she was offended that I'd think anything had happened between her and WH.

She was single, so it wasn't like I could rat her out to her husband, and WH didn't know the name of whatever boyfriend he thought she was maybe seeing at the time.

What did WH say during this whole thing? Nothing. Not a single word.

[This message edited by OptionedOut at 8:23 AM, May 3rd (Friday)]

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