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honey, they always affair down...

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Chrysalis123 posted 4/5/2020 07:29 AM

Bump

earlydetour posted 6/3/2020 11:55 AM

bump for marvelousdarling

StrugglingCJ posted 6/5/2020 05:48 AM

Thank you for bumping, it took me a long time to realise my WW really affaired down.. Yes he was 20 yrs younger than me, taller, shady past (ex drug dealer) she confirmed he was bigger and lasted longer in bed (info i still struggle with)..
But ultimately he is nearly 30 still lives in a basement in his grandparents house and has virtually no education.
I finally realised i am a better man than he will ever be, i look after my entire family, always try to help people when i can, have worked hard my entire life to get where i am now. I have made mistakes, sure, but i try to learn from them, to improve myself.
My WW during her affair was not a good wife or even a good person at times. She is now working on improving herself too, because she finally realised how poorly she behaved..
So you could say that during the affair i traded down.. By putting up with a wife who was much less than i deserved.. I think we all do.. We just dont know it for sure till DDay

[This message edited by StrugglingCJ at 5:53 AM, June 5th (Friday)]

Edie posted 7/27/2020 12:04 PM

Bump 😊

susielee posted 7/29/2020 12:57 PM

I don't know, so many good points and posts. I think it is just so individual.

My Ex in most eyes traded down. She wasn't significantly younger, or pretty. I would say just average, she smoked and drank. Honestly even in his own eyes, as he told me about two years before he left me for her that she was a mess, and everyone knew she had been married three times and had messed around with many married men. One of them while my ex was with her. (before the affair was outed to me)

I think (generally speaking) that men tend to start affairs for a sex thrill. Then sometimes they get hooked with that particular person, thus an exit affair developed. In my ex's case there was also a work effect, as she was his direct report; and he kind of had his ass in a trap. He had to be real careful as it played out. He didn't get fired, but he got demoted, and lost his cushy position as the mayors right hand man. Mayor wasn't any more moral than ex was, but he wasn't near as stupid as my ex.

Because we share a son I know things have been pretty rough for them as time went on. Both in terms of life choices, gambling/bankruptcy/destroying their relationship with said son, and health. I am sorry of course for the bad health, but the rest is on them.

It was the situation with my son that caused me to re-examine our past. I was trying to find out why on earth a man would destroy his marriage, then go on to destroy his relationship with his son.

It is how I happened upon this site and the Chump Nation site. Wish I had access to these types of sites when I was going through my cheater H hell. I mean I handled it fairly well through the pain, but dang these sites would have helped.

The only thing I really regret is giving him another chance. It didn't last but a week, but I still regret it.

As far as why women start affairs, I don't know. It was never something I entertained, and honestly most affairs in married friends that happened, it was always the man, and they all had multiple affairs before the exit affair.

99lawdog99 posted 7/29/2020 13:06 PM

Thank you for bumping, it took me a long time to realise my WW really affaired down.. Yes he was 20 yrs younger than me, taller, shady past (ex drug dealer) she confirmed he was bigger and lasted longer in bed (info i still struggle with)..
But ultimately he is nearly 30 still lives in a basement in his grandparents house and has virtually no education.
I finally realised i am a better man than he will ever be, i look after my entire family, always try to help people when i can, have worked hard my entire life to get where i am now. I have made mistakes, sure, but i try to learn from them, to improve myself.
My WW during her affair was not a good wife or even a good person at times. She is now working on improving herself too, because she finally realised how poorly she behaved..
So you could say that during the affair i traded down.. By putting up with a wife who was much less than i deserved.. I think we all do.. We just dont know it for sure till DDay

Holy crap, I could have written this. My wife's other was 39, ex drug user and lived with his mother. She said almost the same things to me about him. Took me a long time to no longer care.

Want2BHappyAgain posted 9/14/2020 13:22 PM

BUMP!!!

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