low tide (original poster member #86539) posted at 8:43 PM on Saturday, October 25th, 2025
My wife's continued betrayal, inconsistencies, and lies have left me feeling hopeless.
Every time I look at her, I imagine her with her lover.
She has never told the same story twice, in over 25 years since discovering her infidelity.
I love her and don't want to divorce, but the pain of living is worse than the fear of dying.
While I'm not suicidal, I do go to sleep and wish I wouldn't wake up.
Medication and therapy have not helped me cope with her ongoing, inconsistent stories and lies.
I'm sorry to complain, but I'm at a loss and spiraling deeper into depression.
Thanks for being there for me.
—Painfully alone and depressed.
Ladybugmaam ( member #69881) posted at 9:15 PM on Saturday, October 25th, 2025
I'm so sorry. Those triggers make me want to just get in the car and drive away and not look back. Hang in there. Low Tide, after 25 years....what do you need to know now to make you feel safe?
EA DD 11/2018
PA DD 2/25/19
One teen son
I am a phoenix.
Unhinged ( member #47977) posted at 9:49 PM on Saturday, October 25th, 2025
Why is divorce not an option for you?
Married 2005
D-Day April, 2015
Divorced May, 2022
"The Universe is not short on wake-up calls. We're just quick to hit the snooze button." -Brene Brown
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 12:46 AM on Sunday, October 26th, 2025
Whether you D or R, acceptance is the key (IMO) to your happiness.
You accept she’d inconsistent. You accept maybe a chronic liar.
Her behavior has NOTHING to do with you BTW. She’s not lying or cheating because you are a bad guy or not worthy of the truth etc.
She’s acting this way because she has issues and refuses to address them. This done things roll never change.
You love her. Then accept her. All of her.
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 12 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 1:11 AM on Sunday, October 26th, 2025
I’m sorry you are still in such pain. What can YOU do to make this better? You can only control you, so focus on what is in your power.
I hope you find peace.
Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)
**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **
crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 7:08 AM on Sunday, October 26th, 2025
So sorry you are struggling. Have you ever thought of separating just to see how you would feel not having to be exposed to her? I think for some being around the cheater even if they are remorseful and doing the work can be too much. Being around the cheater keeps the memory of the A alive at least that’s how it was for me. My xWS wasn’t remorseful but just being around him reminded me of the As and it started to drive me insane. I thought I’d never stop thinking about it. Since leaving and D I no longer think about it. It has no power over me anymore. For some it is just a dealbreaker and being around the cheater is a reminder. Maybe take a break from it all spend less time around each other and do more for yourself.
fBS/fWS(me):52 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:55 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(22) DS(19)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Separated 9/2019; Divorced 8/2024
