Please help. I'm new here and broken.
Thank you for accepting me into this forum. I'm hurting and don't know where else to turn. Here's the concise version. Found out my wife had an affair beginning weeks before our wedding and continuing for at least 12 years—that I know. We are high school sweethearts—met when she was 15 and I was 17. I have never been with anyone other than my wife, and I'm beyond devastated. More than the pain of her infidelity is her lies. She has never told the same story since I learned of the affair and stumbled upon a love letter from her boyfriend. I have read everything I can find about the dangers of trickle truth, and I'm living proof. I'm in love with a liar and have no desire to live without her. I've been under psychiatric care with two different doctors for decades, expressing the same feelings week after week. It was in the last session that my doctor referred to her as a con artist. I have sent my wife every article I could find about the importance of truth and transparency in order to overcome. Nothing stops the changing narratives. I'm beyond broken and need the help of others who have walked in my shoes. Thank you for reading.
89 comments posted: Sunday, September 14th, 2025
Trickled to Death
Good morning, friends.
I just bounced over from my post in the General forum. I was astutely advised that I might be less triggered here.
Long story short. I met my wife when she was 15 and I was 17. I've never been with anyone but her, and now I'm 62 and she's 60. Weeks before our wedding day, she "slept" with a "man" from work. She was reportedly intimate with him for at least 2+ years and maintained contact via phone and letters through at least 12 years after our wedding—25 years ago.
Despite her actions, I am in love with her, and we are working to make things work—now, seeing my psychiatrist together.
Here is my problem, and I'm hoping to have the benefit of some of your insights: My wife has never told the same story twice. Every single time she speaks about him, there is a changing narrative. I’m having difficulty coping with reality, when I don’t know what reality is. Without honesty and full transparency, I feel like her changing stories are a continued betrayal.
How do you suggest I cope with this?
Thank you.
19 comments posted: Saturday, September 13th, 2025
