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Newest Member: nbc2024

Off Topic :
It’s just me here, still living in a dumpster fire

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 HFSSC (original poster member #33338) posted at 3:54 AM on Wednesday, August 28th, 2024

I’m really glad that some of you know me IRL so you can vouch for me that I’m a real person and not some troll or fiction writer.

So when we last spoke about the Hooterville Drug Cartel, there was all sorts of drama about my niece, M, and where she was going to live. Just to recap, we live on 40 acres of family land owned by JM’s dad. It’s a rectangular plot that is bordered by 3 roads, 2 parallel and one perpendicular, and then a shared border with absentee neighbors at the back. JM and I live facing one of the parallel roads, facing away from the main property. My mom lives on the corner right next to our house. There’s a long paved driveway parallel to the road we live on that leads up to my FIL’s house. There is a very large field taking most of the space. FIL grows and harvests hay every year. My SIL has a home (double wide trailer that is on a foundation and has a porch. So it’s FANCY). M has a 5 year old and a 6 month old that was born in jail. They were raised twice in February with large amounts of cash, meth, weed, and guns stashed. M was charged (while 8 mos pregnant) with felony child endangerment because there was 3 lbs of weed in the DISHWASHER.

So SIL apparently got tired of the drug dealing, etc, and moved into a camper. It’s a one bedroom camper. After the 2nd raid, when M and her BF were held without bond, SIL got custody of the then 4 year old. Once the baby was born she got custody of him too. So she’s living in a damn camper with 2 kids. She gave her house to Thug Life and his 4 kids from 3 other baby mamas. One of whom has CDV charges still pending against him. And M, who has 2 felony child endangerment charges

is somehow living in the camper with SIL and the kids. 🤬🤯

So… something JM and I did back in March has now come out in the open. He found a video camera with the memory card still in it that the police somehow missed. He watched it and was disgusted. He cried for days. There was video evidence of my SIL being involved in the drug use with the 4 year old in the house. There was a video of the 4 year old on his hands and knees drinking and eating from a dog bowl while all the adults laughed. We prayed about it and decided to turn it in to the police. We were told they’d keep our name out of it if possible. Well, it wasn’t possible and now M and Thug Life know we turned in the video card. And they are mad at us???!!!!

We live here. My mother lives here. My FIL lives here. They decide to run a damn drug operation on land that my FIL has owned for 45 years. They had weed stored in his hay bales on his property. My FIL could lose everything, not to mention the potential for violence that accompanies meth trafficking. And they have the nerve to be mad at us?

It’s triggered JM really bad. He is right now on an involuntary psych hold due to ODing on clonazepam Thursday night. He was unresponsive and had heart rate in the 40s for most of Friday. This is now the third time he’s been hospitalized in less than 2 years. We are still at least 15 months away from anyone even looking at his SSDI case for medical review. I am working 2 jobs. My last 2 pay periods at my FT job were 92.5 hours and 97 hours. I. Am. Exhausted. I don’t know what people are supposed to do. He can’t work. He has meltdowns where he hallucinates and fights the hallucinations. Friday night when he was half waking up and very fighty, I tried to speak to him and bring him back. He put his hands on me for the first time of our entire relationship. 28 years. He was looking right through me as he grabbed the neck of my shirt and jerked me down to the bed.

What the actual fuck am I supposed to do? Rob a bank? Sell my fat ass? I have reached out to one of our state senators for help with VA and SA benefits. Hopefully something will happen before we lose our home.

Oh, and our 32 year old son who has epilepsy had an awful seizure a few weeks ago. JM took him to urgent care because he had hit his head pretty hard (huge black eye) and hurt his shoulder. They sent him to the ER. I met them over there and it was really weird. There were law enforcement vehicles everywhere and they were not going to let me go back at first. I said, "Well my son has difficulty communicating and my H has PTSD and might melt down any minute but I’ll be right out here." They decided they could make an exception lol. So while I was waiting for DS to come back from CT scan, I start scrolling Facebook and found out the HOSPITAL WAS ON LOCKDOWN because THERE WAS A SHOOTING IN THE ER! Literally moments before JM had gotten there.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 9:27 PM, Friday, August 30th]

Me, 56
Him, 48 (JMSSC)
Married 26 years. Reconciled.

posts: 4962   ·   registered: Sep. 12th, 2011   ·   location: South Carolina
id 8846940
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SacredSoul33 ( member #83038) posted at 3:51 PM on Wednesday, August 28th, 2024

Man, HFSSC, that's a lot. I'm so sorry. sad

It sounds like your H is a veteran? Is his PTSD military related?

Has your H filed for VA disability? If not, do that immediately. If approved, benefits start the day that he files, and he'll get backpay. There are organizations that will help you with the process. It sounds like he might qualify for 100% disability, and that's a pretty decent chunk of change each month. Here in Texas, those at 100% don't have to pay property taxes. I don't know about SC.

Is there an American Legion or VFW nearby? They usually have VSOs that can help, too.

[This message edited by SacredSoul33 at 3:53 PM, Wednesday, August 28th]

Remove the "I want you to like me" sticker from your forehead and place it on the mirror, where it belongs. ~ Susan Jeffers

Your nervous system will always choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.

posts: 1479   ·   registered: Mar. 10th, 2023
id 8846962
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 HFSSC (original poster member #33338) posted at 3:57 PM on Wednesday, August 28th, 2024

We have to apply to get his discharge upgraded because when he went reserve, he just quit going to drill and was given an other than honorable discharge. I’ve contacted one of our US senators and his office is helping us with that.

I’m just tired, Boss. dog tired.

Me, 56
Him, 48 (JMSSC)
Married 26 years. Reconciled.

posts: 4962   ·   registered: Sep. 12th, 2011   ·   location: South Carolina
id 8846965
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SacredSoul33 ( member #83038) posted at 4:23 PM on Wednesday, August 28th, 2024

Oh, man. Fingers crossed that they can get that changed. That would be a huge help.

I'm so sorry. Sending virtual hugs.

Remove the "I want you to like me" sticker from your forehead and place it on the mirror, where it belongs. ~ Susan Jeffers

Your nervous system will always choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.

posts: 1479   ·   registered: Mar. 10th, 2023
id 8846967
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 4:40 PM on Wednesday, August 28th, 2024

Ugh. So much on your plate. You ABSOLUTELY did the right thing turning that card over to the police. You had to protect those children.


How can I help? DM me.

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6159   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8846971
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Bigger ( Attaché #8354) posted at 9:29 PM on Friday, August 30th, 2024

Posting as attache, but also as someone with compassion for HFFSC situation:

SI Guidelines are very clear on solicitation and the unedited above post was deemed to break that guideline. As a member of staff I have edited out the parts that broke the guidelines.

If members on this site think they can offer support beyond what is shared here in an open forum then remember that we don’t edit or monitor private messages, but keep in mind we can’t protect anonymity and the content you share. Any such action beyond posting on this thread is totally on the responsibility of the participants.

"If, therefore, any be unhappy, let him remember that he is unhappy by reason of himself alone." Epictetus

posts: 12589   ·   registered: Sep. 29th, 2005
id 8847226
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 HFSSC (original poster member #33338) posted at 2:56 PM on Saturday, August 31st, 2024

Thank you Bigger. I knew y’all would take care of it in a kind manner. ❤️

Me, 56
Him, 48 (JMSSC)
Married 26 years. Reconciled.

posts: 4962   ·   registered: Sep. 12th, 2011   ·   location: South Carolina
id 8847270
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 8:56 PM on Saturday, August 31st, 2024

(((((HFS)))))

I hope your hubby is doing better. That had to scary and heartbreaking at the same time. I know your faith will keep you centered and on track.
When you're in the midst of a storm like this it is hard to remember that we are not given more than we can handle. Which clearly makes you a BADASS!!!!

Keep on keeping

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20253   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 8847282
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WhatsRight ( member #35417) posted at 8:44 AM on Sunday, September 1st, 2024

I’m so sorry about the awful time that you’re having right now. You and your families are in my prayers.

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 8226   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8847302
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 HFSSC (original poster member #33338) posted at 11:02 AM on Monday, September 2nd, 2024

Well, he remembered the trigger.

Bitch niece is having a tantrum that we turned in the evidence of HER abusing her child and participating in multiple illegal activities in his presence.

JM had made his sister an exquisite swing for her birthday last year. All cedar. With a stands.

M destroyed it. SIL sent a pictured to JM and asked if he’d be able to fix it and he just snapped. He’s dissociated before. This was by far the worst time. I’m still so tired. 🥱

Me, 56
Him, 48 (JMSSC)
Married 26 years. Reconciled.

posts: 4962   ·   registered: Sep. 12th, 2011   ·   location: South Carolina
id 8847357
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 5:20 PM on Monday, September 2nd, 2024

i know it is not this easy, but it seems you need to go NC with this family. Living on the same property makes that hard, but how else can you heal?

Addiction is horrible, and the horrible is showing in the SIL and other family behavior. So sad, but you can’t fix them.

Sending you tons of support and mojo. Hope JMSSC stabilizes soon.

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6159   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8847378
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