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Newest Member: Watermelonhigh

Off Topic :
We are falling apart here

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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 10:46 PM on Wednesday, June 12th, 2024

WR how are you?
How are things going¿
Don't be a stranger.

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20207   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 8839435
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 WhatsRight (original poster member #35417) posted at 1:53 AM on Sunday, June 16th, 2024

Hello.

Thanks again for all the continued thoughts and posts.

I have been really sick for sometime. Turns out when I finally agreed to go to urgent care, the doctor came in and said that no wonder I was feeling so badly… that I had Flu B and COVID. 😕

I’m over the worst of it now, but still quite congested and stuffy head. And I think I have a bit of "Covid brain", but then again, that may just be me being me.

Dr. is giving me an inhaler to use once every morning, and advised me to take Zyrtec. That’s weird because I can’t imagine allergies would cause the flu or Covid. But I’m basically too tired to think it through.

My sister went with me to church a few weeks after my husband passed away. I had to leave the Sunday school class early to pick up my granddaughter from her school class. After I left, the Sunday school class asked my sister what they could do to help me. She told them to give me a hug would be great, but to not try to have a conversation with me about it just yet. It turns out that was very helpful for me so that people would not continue to come up to me and want to talk. So now every now and then someone just comes up and gives me a hug. It’s very sweet.

I’m continuing to try to get better with my crazy health issues. And I’m continuing to try to avoid the obvious, by putting all of my energy into "getting things done" around the house. I am already typically OCD about the house being clean. But it’s worse now.

A few days ago I had my friends Handyman" come over and give me an estimate for doing some things around the house. A French drain outside my sunroom to prevent moisture damage. New floors. Putting a door knob on the door. It’s a little pitiful on my part, but I think I just want to continue to have something to do for fear of the feeling I will get when I think that "everything is done". Also, I very much want to get the house into a condition where nothing would have to be done if it was going to be sold… For down the road when I pass away, so my boys won’t have a lot of things to do if they decide to sell the house.

The pain is slowly diminishing and Bella’s eyes. She still goes back to my bedroom every time I go back there. But she doesn’t go up on the bed every time. And she is happy to leave the room when I’m done. It’s so weird, because a few days after his funeral, I got rid of our damage mattress and replaced it. But I haven’t slept in there one night. I go in the room from time to time and lie down for a little bit when I’m missing him so very badly. After a time, I just have to Leave the room. I don’t know what that is.

I hope you are all doing well. And I really appreciate your sweet thoughts and all of your kindness and checking in on me.

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 8218   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8839896
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 6:16 PM on Monday, June 17th, 2024

WR I think everything you are feeling and doing is perfectly normal.
Feel the feels. Do what makes you happy. It's ok to feel good. It's ok to smile. It doesn't mean you don't care.
Give yourself some grace and kindness.

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20207   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 8840003
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grubs ( member #77165) posted at 9:07 PM on Monday, June 17th, 2024

Dr. is giving me an inhaler to use once every morning, and advised me to take Zyrtec. That’s weird because I can’t imagine allergies would cause the flu or Covid.

Cytokine storms are what causes the worst effects of covid. Basically an out of proportion immune response. Allergy's are also an overactive immune response. Histamine pathways trigger immune responses. This means that antihistamines might mitigate covid symptoms. Cetirizine (Zertec) is considered the best due to its potency, fewer side effects, how fast acting it is, and its anti-alergic and anti-inflamatory properties.

[This message edited by grubs at 9:08 PM, Monday, June 17th]

posts: 1605   ·   registered: Jan. 21st, 2021
id 8840024
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 WhatsRight (original poster member #35417) posted at 12:45 PM on Tuesday, June 18th, 2024

grubs…thanks for that info. It makes sense.

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 8218   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8840072
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 12:29 AM on Thursday, June 20th, 2024

Great explanation Grubs.
One thing to add is there are different histamines, so if zyrtec doesn't help try adding in an H2 blocker like pepcid or tagamet. I have H2 strong reactions like crazy. I once got stung and didn't get the stinger out when I thought I did. Missed 2 days of work because my eyes swelled shut. Prednisone and H1 blockers did nothing. I took 2 pepcid and was back to normal in about 12 hours well as close to normal I get.

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20207   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 8840153
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 9:03 PM on Monday, July 8th, 2024

Hey WR how are you and the pups doing?

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6069   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8841894
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 WhatsRight (original poster member #35417) posted at 3:59 PM on Saturday, July 20th, 2024

Hello friends.

I hope you all are doing well. I miss coming here to talk.

I guess my current method of coping is to work my butt off (which I am actually too late for, as a few years ago it went away and reappeared around my waist.)

I am definitely thinking about the future, but probably too far out. The thing that I have come up with to do is to take this opportunity to get some things fixed in our home. Things that have needed to be done for a while, and will increase the value of the home for the future. So for the past couple of weeks, a handyman has been coming in and doing things such as digging a French drain in front of the outer wall of my sunroom…because we have had water damage due due to flooding. He is replacing damaged floors and replacing some wallpaper that is peeling away. Things like that. He put in a doggie door and my dogs absolutely love it. I am assuming as the heat subsides a bit in a few weeks, they will spend more time out than in and I won’t have to let them in and out each time or leave the back door open for them.

I have been keeping my granddaughter all summer. ❤️ Her mom got a different job across town too late to make arrangements for her this summer, and thankfully she’s bringing her to my house instead of taking her to a daycare. The last couple of weeks for her have been very disappointing. Grandmom (me) hasn’t had a chance to spend much time with her. The man that is doing the work in my house took a good bit of money off of his cost if I would help him with moving furniture and keeping things picked up as he moved along with his work. So I have been doing that mostly. My sister has come over to help with providing company for my granddaughter. She told me that the other day my granddaughter said to her, "When the worker man is finished with his work, Grandma will get to spend some time with me." 😞 He has one more room in the house, to put flooring in, and then do a few odds and ends, and then he will be finished.

It broke my heart. I could fuck up a wet dream. Please forgive my language. I’m in a bit of a "don’t give a shit" mode.

My granddaughter‘s mom called me the other night about 10:00 PM. She said that she was struggling and when she put her on the phone she was crying. Missing her Grandpa. We speak of him often. When she uses my iPad and the picture pops up of him and I always ask "Who’s that handsome man?" And she always says, "That’s my Grandpa!". So I just spoke to her for a few minutes the other night and told her that I get sad when I think of Grandpa too, but we have to remember how much we love him, and how many wonderful times we spent with him. And that she doesn’t need to worry about him, because he feels so much better now, and he can walk now, that he is running all over heaven with Jesus. We have always spoken very openly and freely about him since he died, because I can’t stand the thought of her ever forgetting him.

Because of being sick with the flu and Covid, and then having to work on the house, I haven’t gotten to spend nearly as much time with my grandson as I wanted so badly to do. We did go to pick him and his older sister up and went to a museum With all three grandchildren and my sister. I don’t know who was tiredest, the old people, or the young people. (That’s a lie… It was the old people) but we all had a blast. Also, we celebrated my two granddaughters’ birthdays at a super cool restaurant. Both sons who are incarcerated got to call and speak with their kids while we were there. One even did a video chat so he could see us when we sang happy birthday. But I have to say that the greatest moment of the day was when we were all first arriving, and my four-year-old grandson saw me and screamed "Granny!" as he was running toward me with his arm stretched out. I’m not sure why he calls me Granny, but he can call me anything he wants as long as he is so happy to see me!

My middle son, the one that doesn’t like me very much… that has the drinking and mental health issues… has left home. He has moved in with his girlfriend about 45 minutes away. They had been breaking up and getting back together off and on for some time. She gaslights him. She wants him to have no friends. She took a few psychology classes in school and so she tries to work all kinds of mind games on him. Once, when he was taking his medication and not drinking, he told me how she put him down and tried to dominate him. But I guess being with her is better than being around me.

On a really positive note, my oldest son will be coming home one week from today. He has been in jail since January for DUI related charges. He tries to be macho, but he is such a sap. He has told me this plan that he has concocted where I will take his daughter to breakfast and my sister will tell my granddaughter that she has an errand to run and she will get there soon. Then he’s going to call me on my phone from her phone once he is out, and just talk to her like he usually does every day from jail. But this time he will walk into the restaurant and while she’s talking with him on the phone, he will walk up to her at the table. I’m just hoping I can get it videoed through all the tears that I’m sure I’ll be crying. So nice to make a scene at a restaurant. 🤷🏽‍♀️

My youngest son, also incarcerated, is so very happy for him. But I think it has brought him down just a little bit. We have about seven more months to go before we get to see him. In the last three years I have seen him twice in court, but haven’t gotten to speak with him face-to-face or touch him. I am making bargains with God that no matter what, I need to be here to see him when he gets out. I simply cannot allow him to leave home, and come back a few years later and both of his parents be gone. He already feels guilt about missing out on his baby’s early childhood, and spending time with his dad before he died. Thank God his lady is supporting and waiting for him.

So, I guess the report for me in a nutshell is that I’m struggling still. But to quote Rose Kennedy… "I will not be vanquished."

I come and read when I can, to try to keep up with all of you. I think of you all often. I wish you well every day.

[This message edited by WhatsRight at 4:08 PM, Saturday, July 20th]

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 8218   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8843058
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 6:14 AM on Monday, July 22nd, 2024

Glad you had a chance to update. It sounds like you have been busy.

I've been watching some of those bargain hunt TV shows and they have some where the owners renovate. Many involve the children. Is there any way you could involve your granddaughter? If she can't do the work, could she hold nails or screws or give you tools? One renovation had an uncle have his niece paint cabinets. She wanted not pink, even though the cabinets were painted grey.

The restaurant idea sounds like a fun idea.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3584   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8843140
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 3:41 PM on Monday, July 22nd, 2024

It sounds like a productive summer! Grandkids, dogs, and home repairs sounds great.
And so exciting that one son will be out soon.

(And honestly, having to help the handyman is not neglecting your grandchild! Life is real and she is fine. I mean, who wouldn’t want an adoring grandparent’s full attention 100% of the time!? But just not realistic. She knows she is loved and adored.)

And how lovely to speak so often and nicely about your late H. That sounds healthy and nice.

Keep on moving forward - you are doing great.

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6069   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8843151
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