SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

They are legal if situated in "normal" areas and AT LEAST residents are aware of them. Like... a camera facing the front-door is legal if there is an expectation that both residents are aware of it, but a camera in the bathroom or overlooking the marital bed – especially a hidden one – would not be considered acceptable (or at the very least require explicit unequivocal proof that all parties are aware of them). If not you could be breaching Expectation of Privacy laws and/or Peeping Tom laws.

I would suggest placing a little sticker on your window about premises being monitored. In a place she wouldn't see it has new. This will provide some plausible deniability, furthermore if you have a security company a simple shrug and stating that cameras were always included.

I assume the actually assault took place outside from the description, exterior cameras usually do not require an special "cover" as there have been many rulings about "expectations of privacy" in exterior settings. Usually it simply doesn't exist.

To @Biggers point, interior camera would be the sticker part.

Needed to Edit to Add a possible solution for you.

I have multiple Google Nest Hubs Max screens/tablets all over my houses, mostly just to see the gatebell/doorbell/perimeter cameras but they do have a built in interior camera and mic as well. I always have mine active and set to record to the cloud. I believe this is the default setting. I suspect you have something similar and they are in plain sight, just nobody pays attention to them.

I've used this to check on the interior when I'm not in residence or tell the dog to get off the bed (hehe). I have difficulty seeing where the wife could claim she didn't know about these...

If you don't have some them, get some they are cheap.

[This message edited by hardyfool at 6:32 PM, Monday, April 29th]

Bump by request of OP

How's it going epicryan? I saw the bump and would love to see an update. It's rare this type of thread gets revived. I've always sort of envied the folks that come on the site, get advice, kick their WS to the curb and never come back here.

kick their WS to the curb

With the added bonus of kicking a mudhole in the AP... not just once, but TWICE!! And in front of his WW both times!

Please let us know how it's going EpicRyan.

Bummer. Thought we were going to receive an update from epicryan. Hope you’re ok man.

Hello Everyone,

Sorry for the silence. I dropped the assault charges against my wife's AP. I was actually feeling badly for him and I was generally interested in moving on. I did not like who my wife and this man turned me into. I was angry and kept ruminating over details that I couldn't change. I decided to let it go.

However, not long after I was served by him. He was suing me for hospital fees and pain and suffering. It puzzled me because I have video evidence of him attacking me. My lawyer assured me that it wouldn't go anywhere but we could offer to settle and be done with it so I paid the agreed upon amount from our joint account and paid him.

I asked my STBXW what her plan was by coming back with him to confront me? She said that she was upset that I was causing him to get divorced. I pointed out that him and his wife getting divorced, and us getting divorced cleared the way for them to be together without all the lies, manipulation and cheating. I got no response.

Her and AP have moved into and apartment together and striking while the iron was hot, she agreed to everything I presented. My life looked great, she was out of the house, no drama around me, picking up my hobbies again, and catching up with friends etc.

We proceed with the divorce and we are now officially divorced.

One day, I came home and she was there to pick up some items after the sale of the house (I was constantly after her to pick the items up but she kept missing the pick up date/time). She was crying and asked me if we rushed into the divorce and maybe we should have fought harder to stay together. She actually said that it was too bad that I showed up that day because I would have never found out about them and we would still be together. I said that it was actually the best day ever, because it completely exonerated me of all the gaslighting and manipulation that I was subjected to over those many months.

She asked me if we could could arrange a standing date night once a month to catch up together. I told her that I don't care what happens to her and that I don't want to communicate with her ever again. She had a full on melt down on the stoop. I used her phone and called the AP to come help her get home but he had her blocked. I came to learn that he left to go back to his wife and baby. I felt bad that these series of decisions she made, has left her alone. I asked her parents to come and get her and that was it.

Thanks for the update epicryan. Your wife’s choices made me think of this quote:

"Sin will take you farther than you want to go, keep you longer than you want to stay, and cost you more than you want to pay."

The guy who said that was a well-respected Christian leader, who after he died was discovered to have been a serial adulterer. Sigh. Guess he was speaking from his own experience.

Well done on utterly rejecting your X coming back to you as her Plan B. Eff that! It’s both sad and strangely satisfying when we see the karma bus do its thing. Many betrayed don’t ever get to see that. In your case, I 100% agree on never speaking to her again. Not after all she put you through.

As far as that POS suing you, I would have been beyond hopping mad for him to do that after you dropped the charges. Any chance you can resurrect them? I’d do it as a matter of principle. It would force the entire matter into the public domain and stick with him the rest of his life. Might well do his BW some good, for her adulterous husband to feel some shame & consequences for his crap choices. If you can’t resurrect the criminal charges, you may well have grounds to privately sue him. I understand if you just want all this behind you. I’d be concerned he might not let this go unless & until properly set in his place.

Consider posting in "New Beginnings" periodically. You’re going to thrive moving forward and we’d love to cheer you on. Well done!

Unbelievable.

She actually said that it was too bad that I showed up that day because I would have never found out about them and we would still be together.

Yeah that is totally the problem. You finding out…. It would have been such a great life for you if it weren’t for those meddling kids. I think my eyes rolled completely around on that one. But at least you know her current mindset. Having sex with another man was fine as long as you don’t know about it. You would still be happily married….

And any tears are only for herself. She is simply sad she doesn’t have a man to fall back on to rescue her from her own choices. Not your monkey and not your circus anymore….

This is about as happy an ending as one could have hoped, given the circumstances. Good job on not wavering. You're stronger without her.

Well done, EpicRyan!

Your last interaction with your ExWW must have felt exhilarating afterwards- validating all your prior steps you took to get out of infidelity. Again, your story shows that those who act with decisiveness get out of infidelity quicker, heal themselves quicker and can move forward in their life with their head held high with honor and integrity after taking the trash to the curb.

The only thing better to your story would have been if you had shown up where your wife was waiting with a younger, hotter new girlfriend. But that is what New Beginnings is for! So go find a better partner! You've probably blocked your Ex on social media but she'll find out eventually either by stalking or from mutual friends, and then the schadenfreude will truly be epic.

You are absolutely doing great in how you approached all this. Not sure I would've settled but you know the circumstances better than us.

Remind me, are you still working with a therapist? Would be good to have that support as you eventually start having relationships again.

Keep your ex in the rear view mirror. She's not who you thought she was.

Unfortunate the OBS had to take back her cheating husband.

I got a few lines into your post and knew immediately that her AP dumped her.

She actually said that it was too bad that I showed up that day because I would have never found out about them and we would still be together.

This line is a very close second place to "What did you expect when you married a beautiful woman?" in the Shit Cheaters Say Hall of Fame.

Did she even realize that was expressing regret not for what she did but for getting caught?

As horrible is this situation is, I just can't help but find it hilarious when cheaters are honest by accident.