EX and Kids/Family seem to have a plan
Short Version Background:
I returned home from business trip with a 10+ hour flight to have my X announce that she was moving out. Surprise would not begin to describe my thoughts at that moment. She stated there was nobody else but since the kids were now gone in college we were living "separate lives", seemed like an odd statement at the time, but later on it would have meaning.
She stayed the night, which I have no idea why at all since I left the our bedroom and went into the extra bedroom that night. She departed in the morning and I was left to figure out what had just become of my life in less than 12 hours. I needed information so I dug, discovered some assets had been moved so I locked everything up and continued digging. During this time she of completely invisible, no idea where she was and what was going on. Called the kids and she had told them she had moved out as we were "having difficulties", I informed them that I was unaware until a day ago.
Anyway long story short, there was obviously another guy, perhaps two as I'm still unclear on that point but in the end it really doesn't matter much. Kids decided to stay "neutral" as they "loved" both of us however it was clear that they "understood" their mother's motivation as "well, Dad you work so much". Divorce went as expected a bit longer as she clearly dreamed of walking away with a percentage of company which she was unable to secure due to the usual 5Ds, however she did well enough.
Currently, we are more than 5 years after the divorce.
The X, kids and the rest family seem to believe I should get back together with my X. They seem to believe since I have never "found anyone", although as I've explained clearly to the kids that I through myself completely into my work and did not even have the slightest interest in anything beyond the mid-superficial with any woman. The benefits financially to this have been fantastic in face beyond anything I had dared to dream about. Emotionally, I'm happy enough I suppose as getting a dog does wonders.
I have been under, well let us call it pressure for the last Y months and I'm getting weary of it. To the point of I am considering walling them all off. My perspective on them all is they were all at best neutral on this affair, as they all met the bonehead other guy both kids got along well enough with both of the Bundy's (this is my name for X and the other guy). Obviously X's other relationship ended poorly and somewhat spectacularly from my understanding, seems their finances were diminished to nonexistent depending upon which of the kids perspective. This is what I assume is the primary motivator, but when I say this out loud I hear back it is not about money. She made a mistake but you are to blame as well dad if I condensed everyone's conversations down to a sentence.
So, I find myself internally debating how to handle this situation as politely blocking it has been ineffective and now it has gotten to where the veneer the kids and my family and my X had on who they assigned the blame for the "situation", (their word not mine) has slipped into the open. I guess I am hurt by this, but mostly I find myself asking why in the world I would want someone back in my life who betrayed me and now I'm starting to see the rest of my family in the same light. I'm also asking if I am such a bad person to have caused this, and why if I am they keep engaging me.
I did not intend for this to become a diatribe just an early morning call from my oldest has set me off....
70 comments posted: Monday, April 17th, 2023