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Newest Member: Joel

General :
Online therapy

Topic is Sleeping.
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 Emotionalhell (original poster member #39902) posted at 10:26 PM on Wednesday, December 20th, 2023

Has anyone tried online therapy ? What was your experience?

Me BS x2. 50ish Divorced WH #1. IHS with wayward #2 Dday #1 Oct. 2014Dday # 2 August 2018. Dday #3 December 17th.

posts: 1780   ·   registered: Jul. 22nd, 2013
id 8818891
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 1:18 AM on Thursday, December 21st, 2023

I used BetterHelp for a couple years. Overall I liked it.
Pros:
* I can communicate pretty well in written format, so we went 100% via writing (like email basically). You can meet by Zoom or phone. - it’s up to you. I liked this format b/c I could write out my concerns/thoughts etc whenever I wanted. No waiting until Thursday at 3pm, for example.
* I could read back the questions and comments from my therapist (who was a PsyD) and really spend time thinking about them.
* I could also really review my progress and what issues kept coming up over and over
* My therapist communicated well and I felt connected to him. It was no problem to me that I never met or spoke to him. I think it made it easier for me to be vulnerable— kinda like our Anonymity on SI.
* very affordable
* Some weeks I emailed more than once, some weeks I didn’t email at all. It ebbed and flowed with my needs.
* If you don’t connect with your therapist, you can just request a new one— it’s super easy. And I was able to put a few criteria in for what I wanted in a therapist.
* I loved not wasting an hour in hectic traffic racing to get to my appointment and then back to work.

Cons:
* Some want that in person connection. this is a personal preference.
* You have to be comfortable with the format you use— whether Zoom or phone.
* you have to have a safe place to work from where you can’t be eavesdropped on (or worry about that). It can be your car, but you need a safe space.

I know there are some that are more text message/short format. I was able to write as much as I wanted, no limits. He always responded within 24 hours. I liked that format and would not be happy with little text message format.

good luck!

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6248   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8818910
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PinkJeepLady ( member #37575) posted at 3:10 AM on Thursday, December 21st, 2023

I just started with an online therapist this week and absolutely loved it. He was great and really helped me even though it was the first time seeing him.

I didn’t think being online was a problem at all and I liked I didn’t have to drive somewhere and could be comfortable in my home.

I have been to therapist before, years ago and I don’t recall being asked right off the bat about what support systems I have in place and if I am getting enough sleep. He emailed me afterwards some tip sheets and encouraged me to download a journaling app.

I think it might be more important to get the right fit with your therapist rather than be concerned with in person or online. Just me 2 cents 😊

Whatever you decide I think you will find some relief with being able to share your story with a trusted professional.

Me: BW Him: FWH
DDay June 1st 2012
cheated with prostitutes overseas
Reconciled - thought so, but now divorcing

posts: 786   ·   registered: Nov. 21st, 2012   ·   location: Out West
id 8818917
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FireandWater ( member #80084) posted at 4:17 AM on Thursday, December 21st, 2023

I've been doing online therapy for about a year and half. I think it works very well. You do need to ensure that you have a private place where no one can hear you. I use headphones with a microphone so there's no chance anyone else will hear the therapist. WH and I each have our own sessions, so we figured out the best place in the house to do them. I can't hear his sessions, so I'm confident that he can't hear mine either. I like not having to get in the car and drive anywhere. I also like that I'm home as soon as the session is over. If there's anything that I want to discuss with WH, it's fresh in my mind when I leave the session.

posts: 163   ·   registered: Mar. 15th, 2022
id 8818926
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Superesse ( member #60731) posted at 12:29 AM on Friday, December 22nd, 2023

PinkJeepLady, what an encouraging a report about finding a helpful online therapist!
(Any hints on the "keywords" you used in your refining search? There are TONS of therapists online, these days!)

Where I live - out in the boonies - there are few appropriate therapists on the usual website most post upon (which cannot be named here) but of course there are many over 100 miles away. I suppose in this late-stage miserable M, I'm not willing to drive 2-plus hours just so I can begin what I'm betting will need to be a long relationship!

Yet I just assume it would be hard to do meaningful connection online, for people like me who don't FB, Zoom, etc.

Tell us more, pretty please?

posts: 2222   ·   registered: Sep. 22nd, 2017   ·   location: Washington D C area
id 8819037
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PinkJeepLady ( member #37575) posted at 6:28 AM on Friday, December 22nd, 2023

Superesse - it was through a work benefit program, so I didn’t look around. Sorry I can’t be of more help.

I hope you find a therapist that will work for you soon!

Me: BW Him: FWH
DDay June 1st 2012
cheated with prostitutes overseas
Reconciled - thought so, but now divorcing

posts: 786   ·   registered: Nov. 21st, 2012   ·   location: Out West
id 8819059
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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 3:59 PM on Friday, December 22nd, 2023

Being together in the same space at the same time is better, because it allows both/all parties to take in all the communications, verbal and non verbal.

Video sessions can be very useful, though, and you don't have to spend any time traveling. smile

Therapy works if you're willing to change yourself and if you work with a competent therapist. You define what you want to change.

The therapist guides you to find the resources you need to effect the change and may suggest other changes, based on what you communicate.

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 30562   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8819161
Topic is Sleeping.
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