Topic is Sleeping.
Marlita (original poster member #72286) posted at 3:52 AM on Tuesday, October 31st, 2023
It’s been nearly 5-1/2 years since dd day and I’m thinking about divorce…
Any pre-words of advice?
No kids together.
Married 10+ years.
Not looking for anything more than what I’m owed.
He doesn’t know yet.
Any words of advice are welcomed.
Thank you.
P.s. we live in a "no fault" state and own a house together
kiwilee ( member #10426) posted at 5:03 AM on Tuesday, October 31st, 2023
Start with attorney consultations to understand the process and know what to expect. Also ask about mediation.
Follow your heart- if you’re done, you are done. So many of us wasted years hanging in for the family. Trust yourself.
Start keeping a copy of every bill and all financial statements.
BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 5:21 AM on Tuesday, October 31st, 2023
I agree that you should consult with a couple lawyers to make sure you fully understand the process. Also, when you decide to tell him, be sure you have an exit plan for that night just in case.
My therapist told me, and it was so so true, that when you know you know. And when you’re ready you’re ready. It doesn’t mean it’s what you want or that you’re happy about it, but you know it’s what you need to do.
And also be prepared to flip and flop a little bit on this it’s very difficult, and you might second-guess yourself more than once.
Best of luck. You can do this..
Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)
**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **
Marlita (original poster member #72286) posted at 5:48 AM on Tuesday, October 31st, 2023
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 11:05 AM on Tuesday, October 31st, 2023
Before you tell him you need to protect yourself.
Get copies of all statements and accounts - investment, retirement, credit cards, mortgage, tax bills, savings account, deed, titles, etc.
If he refuses to complete forms and wants to stall, you have the info needed. If he tries to "hide" assets, you have the info needed.
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 10 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
EvenKeel ( member #24210) posted at 2:25 PM on Tuesday, October 31st, 2023
Yes - meet with an attorney first.
Get copies of all statements and accounts - investment, retirement, credit cards, mortgage, tax bills, savings account, deed, titles, etc.
Ditto. Actually for my attorney consultation, they required I had all this information before I even came in.
My attorney also told me to remove anything from the house that was personal and I could not replace if things got ugly. That was not much for me, just like my Gram's engagement ring, etc.
I had a little box that sat in my office until all was over.
CoderMom ( member #66033) posted at 2:22 PM on Thursday, November 30th, 2023
What does a no-fault state do for you? Does that mean you don't have to prove he cheated in order to be granted the divorce? Have you considered counseling? Divorce is a huge step.
Helena67 ( member #80506) posted at 5:56 PM on Thursday, November 30th, 2023
Prepare yourself. Make an exit and safety plan. Don't waste more time on him. If you know, you know. You can start over! Good luck to you.
BS (me) 56 years. Divorced!!!
StillLivin ( member #40229) posted at 8:16 PM on Thursday, January 4th, 2024
Pull both credit reports and include this in your financial information that you provide your attorney. Also include your monthly budget with everything that The1stWife stated AND utilities. This will help you hammer out how much you'll need financially. I asked for both of us to keep each other as the life insurance beneficiary until the marital home was out of our names. That might also be something you want to consider.
"Bitch please a good man can't be stolen." ROFLMAO - SBB: 7/2/2014
Topic is Sleeping.
