DebraVation (original poster member #51156) posted at 10:59 AM on Wednesday, April 5th, 2023
Just saying hi as I sent in the first online form for a divorce yesterday after catching WH for the second time on 25th March. I filled it in as a joint application, it's now gone to him to complete on his side. He will mess around right up to the deadline (he has two weeks to respond). All being well, it could be done in 6 months.
Next step is agreeing money and childcare. I don't think he'll be awkward over splitting our assets. I think it could get muddier over pensions and spousal support. Also childcare. He said yesterday he'd be happy with 50:50 but he's never here!!! He's always out. He has some nerve, he's left me alone with those kids for years.
BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 8:31 PM on Wednesday, April 5th, 2023
Congratulations on this big step toward being out of infidelity. D is never the outcome we want, but sometimes is the BEST outcome.
Sending good mojo that he is fair and punctual and honest in your dealings.
Me: BS 55 (49 on d-day)Him: WH. 64. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)
**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **
leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 10:03 PM on Wednesday, April 5th, 2023
I hope everything goes smoothly for you and everything splits out the way you want. Just because he asks for 50/50 custody doesn't mean he'll get it. My kids are adults so, I didn't have to do the parenting thing so I can't be sure about that.
BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21
WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 1:19 AM on Thursday, April 6th, 2023
Debra, I remember you from years ago. You joined right around the same time as me. I’m so sorry you’re back here, but I am so freaking excited to see you as decisive as you are. You are handling this so well, and there is such light on the other side of divorce. My own marathon divorce was finalized less than a month ago. Legally kicking a cheater out of your life is the best thing you’ll ever do. I hope everything goes smoothly for you.
I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural
Unhinged ( member #47977) posted at 1:18 AM on Friday, April 7th, 2023
Gratz on taking these steps, Deb. I know it's hard. I know it's not what you wanted. Rest assured, however, that surviving divorce has a much quicker and brighter silver lining than surviving infidelity.
D-Day April, 2015
Divorced May, 2022
"The Universe is not short on wake-up calls. We're just quick to hit the snooze button." -Brene Brown
Crazytrain101 ( member #48200) posted at 3:20 PM on Wednesday, April 12th, 2023
Debra, happy and sad to see you here! Welcome to the post 8 years of finding out and headed for D club along with me.
I can't add much, since I'm not sure of your geographical location, some places will still give a larger percentage than 50/50 more like 55/45 due to the circumstances that caused the D to get filed.
Just document all the time he's not home and you are left on solo child duty to substantiate the funds you'll need to take up his slack.
8 years ago-found out he was a serial cheater-Reconciled-2015 Back again September 2022 as WH is a cheater again Heading to Divorce
BluerThanBlue ( member #74855) posted at 2:39 PM on Thursday, April 13th, 2023
If he wants 50/50, give him 50/50. Either he will step up to the plate and be a better, more active father or he will flake out, in which case, you take his ass back to court and sue him for primary custody and child support.
Why should he get lots of free time to do whatever he wants while you continue to shoulder the sole burden of childcare?
[This message edited by BluerThanBlue at 2:40 PM, Thursday, April 13th]
Divorced WH in 2015; now happily remarried
I edit my comments a lot for spelling, grammar, typos, etc.