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General :
Tell me a (hope/karma) story. Prayers, mojo?

Topic is Sleeping.
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RecklessForgiver ( new member #82891) posted at 8:52 PM on Friday, March 3rd, 2023

Dear Shehawk,

I want to come back to this statement and unpack it:

It's hard to believe in the light when all you see is darkness.

You are the light, that is why you do not see it. You have it in you, even when you do not believe it is so. It is there--the light and the strength to face this.

It is hard to be the one who has integrity and takes the high road, but only when we forget that it takes unbelievable courage and strength to do so. If you are like me, you probably have trouble seeing yourself in those terms, especially when you feel so raw, exposed, and vulnerable. So remind yourself every day.

You are the light. You are not the darkness.

RecklessForgiver

posts: 47   路   registered: Feb. 17th, 2023   路   location: Midwest
id 8780650
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 8:55 PM on Friday, March 3rd, 2023

Just adding some support. Some days are just 馃挬. Hang in there. You can and will get through this

Me: BS 55 (49 on d-day)Him: WH. 64. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 5403   路   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   路   location: Northern CA
id 8780651
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 Shehawk (original poster member #68741) posted at 4:22 AM on Wednesday, March 8th, 2023

Thanks Bearly!

"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!

posts: 1263   路   registered: Nov. 5th, 2018   路   location: VA
id 8781235
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straightup ( member #78778) posted at 7:48 PM on Wednesday, March 8th, 2023

My father married AP.

Dad died 7 years ago.

Both had three kids from their betrayed partners.

Both were the crappier parents but left spouses in such bad shape that they checked out, my Mum with alcohol and an interstate move, her husband repartnered, treated his new wife鈥檚 kids as his own, and moved overseas.

Part of the reason for the affair was that life had not turned out to be all about them and they 鈥榙eserved to be happy鈥.

They stayed married for about 25 years.

Because the other parents took off, it still wasn鈥檛 all about them. They tried to make it so but couldn鈥檛 really. They had to try to parent.

None of the kids (and not even the pets) fully accepted the new arrangement. One didn鈥檛 at all.

Dad spent all his money trying to keep her content. She stopped work and became progressively more useless at things.

She was furious the funeral was not more about her.

The shared friends were mostly his friends so they didn鈥檛 come around any more.

The step kids hardly see her or each other.
The two families have reverted to their original states - the families made with the spouses they betrayed.

She met a new man a year ago and then he died suddenly in a tragic accident.

It鈥檚 all so sad I have given up the will to keep on hating. I just want to do better myself.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.
Mother Teresa

posts: 251   路   registered: May. 11th, 2021   路   location: Australia
id 8781308
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Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 7:51 PM on Wednesday, March 8th, 2023

Sending you light, hugs, prayer, good vibes, mojo and glitter.

Never down yourself for taking the high road. The climb is hard, but [eventually] the view is spectacular!

BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decades - Children (1 still at home) Multiple DDays w/same AP until I told OBS 2018 Cease & Desist sent spring 2021"Hello鈥揗y name is Chaos鈥揧ou f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"

posts: 3668   路   registered: Oct. 13th, 2017   路   location: East coast
id 8781310
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 Shehawk (original poster member #68741) posted at 4:14 AM on Friday, March 10th, 2023

Thanks Chaos!!
I need it!

You rock.

"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!

posts: 1263   路   registered: Nov. 5th, 2018   路   location: VA
id 8781456
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 Shehawk (original poster member #68741) posted at 4:15 AM on Friday, March 10th, 2023

Straightup
So sorry your family experienced that

"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!

posts: 1263   路   registered: Nov. 5th, 2018   路   location: VA
id 8781457
Topic is Sleeping.
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