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Newest Member: Crushedafter46years

New Beginnings :
Long term SO's ex

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 Catwoman (original poster member #1330) posted at 9:35 PM on Friday, November 18th, 2022

I've been with my SO for nearly 12.5 years now. We don't live together. His adult children all live overseas, so visits are quite rare and I have little interaction with them. I've met them, of course, but now that he and his ex are living 12 or so hours driving distance away, we see little of them.

His ex has, from time to time, in ALL of these years, stalked me on LinkedIn. She's doing it again now. For what reason I don't know. I am not an OP--he was separated more than 2 years and divorced 1.5 years when we met.

I've not told him, but I'm not sure how to deal with this. He never speaks ill of her, but he doesn't laud her either.

This just gripes me after all of this time.

Thoughts?

Cat

FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 27 and 24. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

posts: 33128   ·   registered: Apr. 5th, 2003   ·   location: Ohio
id 8765854
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HellFire ( member #59305) posted at 10:09 PM on Friday, November 18th, 2022

She's not interfering in your relationship, just looking you up online?

It sounds like she's just curious about the woman who has been in her ex husband's life for all of these years. The things she's looking at are all open to the public, I assume.

This doesnt have to be nefarious. It could be just innocent curiosity.

posts: 4854   ·   registered: Jun. 20th, 2017   ·   location: The Midwest
id 8765858
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BrokenheartedUK ( member #43520) posted at 10:12 PM on Friday, November 18th, 2022

Ugh. Linkedin is such a trigger for me because the OW stalked me on there during her A with my Ex. When my Ex's GF also stalked me on there, I blocked her. She then proceeded to block me on Facebook. Whatever. I had no issue per se with my Ex's GF, whom I've since met and she's fine, not interesting, but fine. I unblocked her on Linkedin because I felt weird about it. I don't know if she even knows that I did or not because she's probably stopped checking but it felt like the right thing to do. The OW periodically unblocks me and looks at my profile. It's so annoying because I can't block her because she blocked me first. I know, it sounds like some weird adult/social media equivalent of fifth grade. Sheesh.

In your case, I would just block the Ex wife. She doesn't need to go snooping in your life and you don't need to let her do it. You can mention to your SO that this has happened and if he feels strongly that it's the wrong thing to do, then you can unblock her. But I don't know what she could possibly say to their kids if you blocked her without tipping her hand that she was spending weird amounts of time looking you up.

Me: BS
He cheated and then lied. Apparently cheaters lie. Huh. 13 months of false R. Divorced! 8/16 3 teenage kids
"The barn's burnt down
Now
I can see the moon"
-Mizuta Masahide

posts: 3370   ·   registered: May. 24th, 2014
id 8765860
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 1:30 AM on Saturday, November 19th, 2022

Yeah, just block her. It doesn’t really matter why she’s doing it. - it makes you uncomfortable. LinkedIn lets you block individuals, so use it.

(She’s probably curious, but so what. None of her business.)

Me: BS 55 (49 on d-day)Him: WH. 64. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 5103   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8765891
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BluerThanBlue ( member #74855) posted at 1:43 AM on Saturday, November 19th, 2022

She’s probably just curious. If she isn’t bothering you than just leave it at that.

BW, age 40
Divorced WH in 2015; now happily remarried to a great guy

I edit my comments a lot for spelling, grammar, typos, etc.

posts: 953   ·   registered: Jul. 13th, 2020
id 8765894
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Luna10 ( member #60888) posted at 3:52 PM on Saturday, November 19th, 2022

The OW periodically unblocks me and looks at my profile. It's so annoying because I can't block her because she blocked me first.

You can actually block someone back on FB even if they block you first. If you know their username go into your block list and add to list. So if her username is Laura.smith2 you go to your blocked list, choose "add to block list", add the username as above and you block them.

Dday - 27th September 2017

posts: 1597   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2017   ·   location: Europe
id 8765957
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BrokenheartedUK ( member #43520) posted at 10:55 PM on Saturday, November 19th, 2022

@Luna10- thanks but it’s LinkedIn I was referring to and it’s hard to block someone who has already blocked you. Believe me I tried!! 🙄🙄

Me: BS
He cheated and then lied. Apparently cheaters lie. Huh. 13 months of false R. Divorced! 8/16 3 teenage kids
"The barn's burnt down
Now
I can see the moon"
-Mizuta Masahide

posts: 3370   ·   registered: May. 24th, 2014
id 8765998
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