I can only surmise that WH had put someone up to luring me out to that house with that call. Stupid me,NOW knows how to get a number IF it's called from a private number. That would have been helpful, and could have been helpful with the police. I did call the police and tell them about the call and request to meet out at the house under shady terms, but per the usual they said it "could have been an actual person who wanted to see it".
I spent some time in the attic cleaning up and happened upon a box of WH's stuff, I found 3 orders of protection against him with his first wife, they were only married for less than a year. One said he threw her out of a moving car, then kept her hostage at their house. Their second order said he had hit her and threatened her with a firearm, the 3rd order said he had hit her & kept her hostage.
Very scary, he has never hit me BUT has done all those sneaky untracebel things--likley as WH knows he would lose his contractors license he had since got we we were married, no license=no work, or business.
I firmly believe he is a sociopath, as far as the DV safe house goes I'm not sure I can manage my life that way. my attorneys are working hard on a solution, hoping like I am he just slightly slips enough to get him thrown out of our primary. I am planning on putting a voice activated recorder in his room to possibly catch him in a plot of some sort.
WH goes through all of my phone calls and has for sure seen my 20 minute call to the DV center locally and will hopefully behave for now. I fully know that WH will seek to destroy me in every way, my imminent danger will arise in my opinion when the process gets going and the reality starts setting in that he's going to lose big time.
I will likely NOT ever be safe, I have mentally prepared to do what is necessary. My kids have only 3 years and 5 years until they are out of the house, my attorneys have said this will be a 2 plus year divorce so I will be really close to being able to pack up and move. I had really hoped I could just keep the peace and stay married until they were gone but that is not happening now. WH is unwilling to do that.
He absolutely has to be in control, thinks he's smarter than everyone. I just found a statement where WH took $50,000 out of one of his savings accounts, 5 days in a row $9500.00---even he has to be smart enough to know that it would be accounted for in the forensic accounting?!?!? That worries me, WH either KNOWS or he doesn't CARE. HE fully understands the IRS and cash is unusable for any future plans he has--that is very worrisome to me.
I will say he is actively pursuing my replacement, he's looking for his next wife as we speak, so he does have plans for his half of the money, and restarting his life as far as I have heard. WH has called mortgage companies to get a loan, reached out to a neighbor to help him find land, has even looked at a few places to build. That seems somewhat encouraging and the lengths he's going to make it seem like he's not planning anything dangerous.
Now when he sees what he's actually going to get out of the divorce monetarily and realizes he can't manage on that amount then I can see some imminent danger for me and the kids. I will plan on an exit strategy prior to that point. We are in for a very long process with the D.
I too have read the stories about a sociopaths unwillingness to let their spouses go, my WH seemingly planning a future with someone else, he may hate me for taking what he FEELS he had worked for but I think he cares less about me, he CARES about what I am taking from him money wise.
So I'll have to proceed carefully, I appreciate everyones concern and clarity, I know these things that happen to people who are killed also thought that "couldn't have happen to them" I am aware with what I'm dealing with and being careful.
[This message edited by Crazytrain101 at 4:16 PM, Monday, October 10th]