I’m so sorry this happened to you. You did not deserve this.
The problem is she is lost in a fog and unfortunately so are you.
You read that book. Now you have an appointment with her tomorrow. She sells how to save your marriage. Because you found her you have been on the internet reading and watching videos. Haven’t you?
It’s ok everybody does it.
You love your wife. You love your family. It hit you out of nowhere. Your whole life is about to change.
I get it.
There is nothing wrong with how you feel. It’s perfectly normal.
But this is the reality.
Your marriage is over. You can’t fight this. At least not in the way you think.
We have been telling you for weeks this is what was going to happen but you want to hold out hope. You want to try.
Your scared to report her because you don’t want her to be mad at you. Then she won’t want to come back.
Well she is leaving no matter how nice you are or how mean you are.
A lot of things that are said here are counter intuitive.
Ironically if weeks ago you had served her with divorce papers, kicked her out, reported her to authorities, told the whole church, gotten her fired from her job, told her family so they could get in her ear, separated her from her daughter and she spent some hours at least questioned by authorities or even better a night in the drunk tank.
She might have actually come to her senses and realized what she was doing. What she was going to lose.
But you have been trying to be nice, argue with her, reason with her and all you have been doing is letting her buy time, make plans, and manipulate you into making her transition as easy a possible.
MA’s visit was the last wake up call you are ever going to get.
Your wife is not scared for your daughter to be sued by the woman she just spent 4 hours with plotting against you.
They spent 4 hours plotting against you. You need to wake up to that reality. She is on their team not yours.
Your wife is not worried about your finances because of your daughter. She is lying and manipulating you.
If you act the only one getting sued is her. This is why you need a lawyer. To fact check this shit.
She has been lying to you this whole time. She will keep lying to you. Her number one goal is to get over to them and to take your daughter with her as much as possible.
She is not on your team anymore. She is right now your enemy and a danger to you.
Also she wants to keep you as part time babysitter. And to keep you close as a good friend and co parent. That way she can dip her toes back in your world then run off and have sex and love and music with her new family.
Don’t let it happen.
You needed to get moving weeks ago.
But you are scared and holding out hope.
That relationship will fail but it could take years if you enable it. And even if you don’t it could take fewer years but it could take a while.
You can’t wait anymore. You can’t.
Accept that she is gone.
Now if you want to try again in the future you can but only after custody and finances are legally completed.
You can be nice to her with words but not with your actions.
You are on a team all by yourself. And that needs to change.
Do you have no friends and family? You need some support.
You need to find an aggressive lawyer now.
I think you have already made things too confusing with who you are dealing with because you wanted to protect your wife and not hurt her and not make her angry so she will come back.
She is not coming back. At least not anytime soon. And you cannot wait for her.
Google divorce lawyer in your area immediately.
Find two of them that advertise some fighting word. "We fight for you" "we will protect you" those kind of things and set up an appointment immediately.
The only thing you say to the person on the phone is,
"My wife is cheating on me and she is trying to take my daughter"
Then you go in and tell them everything. Write down everything that has happened. Show them this post if you have too and let them read everything you wrote then show them all the text messages.
Tell them you want to fight for as much as possible and let them tell you what to do.
That is what should be happening. You tell the lawyer what you want and they tell you what to do.
It’s ok to tell them you are scared to report her to authorities. A shark who is on your side should help you with that.
If you get the ok. Report her to the church, school, police and her family.
You have let too much time pass. It’s time to hunker down this is your new reality even if you don’t want it to be.
There is no more "my wife said". She is not on your team.
Take action. I’ve have guessed right this whole time. So has everybody else quite frankly. The only difference is some of us want legal protection for your self in place first and some wanted it after you called the police.
There is not debate that you need to take action.
Like I said you didn’t deserve this but unfortunately this is where you are.
If she comes back pleading you can post again and let us know but you cannot let up until protections are in place.
That will probably mean divorce. That’s the reality. But even if you divorce you can still verbally be nice. You could always date again.
It doesn’t 100% have to be the end.
But we are a long way from that talk.
Find another lawyer just talk to them.
See what they say.
It would not change where you are now in anyway and the only thing it could do is keep things the same or make them better.