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General :
How to handle porn and similar in the future

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HellFire ( member #59305) posted at 3:29 PM on Tuesday, July 26th, 2022

Elle, what is going on in your marriage? I thought you were divorcing him,due to another dday,his complete lack of remorse,and his abuse. What's going on?

[This message edited by HellFire at 3:30 PM, Tuesday, July 26th]

posts: 4495   ·   registered: Jun. 20th, 2017   ·   location: The Midwest
id 8747267
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HFSSC ( member #33338) posted at 6:05 PM on Tuesday, July 26th, 2022

From Elle2's second post on this thread.

Thank you for all of the responses! It’s been a great conversation I think and has raised a lot of good questions and issues. One, I did mean for future relationships. I realize that I may feel differently about it later. I will date someone who can have A few drinks but not and alcoholic, but as someone pointed out. It’s much easier to hide a porn addiction. So I realize that just asking would make things difficult lol.

Me, 54
Him, 45 (JMSSC)
Married 24 years. Reconciled.

posts: 4748   ·   registered: Sep. 12th, 2011   ·   location: South Carolina
id 8747291
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BluerThanBlue ( member #74855) posted at 9:03 PM on Tuesday, July 26th, 2022

I read that post, HFSSC. It's still confusing because the first post and profile say she's trying to R but her latest comment talks about dating in the future.

Elle, what's the latest update? Are you still trying to R?

BW, age 40
Divorced WH in 2015; now happily remarried to a great guy

I edit my comments a lot for spelling, grammar, typos, etc.

posts: 844   ·   registered: Jul. 13th, 2020
id 8747317
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HFSSC ( member #33338) posted at 1:05 AM on Wednesday, July 27th, 2022

I’m truly not trying to be pedantic.

But her first post says they “were” trying to R. And in another thread elsewhere on SI I thought she made it pretty clear they were done.

I could be wrong though. Often am.

Me, 54
Him, 45 (JMSSC)
Married 24 years. Reconciled.

posts: 4748   ·   registered: Sep. 12th, 2011   ·   location: South Carolina
id 8747339
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 Elle2 (original poster member #64338) posted at 11:57 PM on Friday, August 5th, 2022

Hey! Sorry for the confusion. I am terrible about updating things. We are in a weird limbo right now. Not really working on things for R anymore. Im just getting my ducks in a row and money saved for a lawyer. I think about everything ive been through a lot these days. Replaying conversations. Wondering if I handled situations correctly. Wondering what I should have done differently. Then I start to overthink everything and worry about the future. I worry I have too much baggage and insecurities for anyone else. Thats what kind of triggered the porn post. Things are very different now out in the world than they were when I was last single lol.

Me: BW. WH had an EA for over a year with cow. Sexting anytime he wanted (his words).DDay June 25 2018DDay2 EA 4/9/2022. I’d had a hunch for a few weeks. Kicked him out and he found a new friend which was the start of EA3.
DDay2: 4/9/2022. I had been

posts: 357   ·   registered: Jul. 2nd, 2018
id 8748475
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