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Reconciliation :
3 year update

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 AnnieMae (original poster member #71018) posted at 7:39 PM on Thursday, May 5th, 2022

On this day 3 years ago, my world turned upside down and inside out when my husbands infidelity came out. If you would have asked me on this day 1 or 2 years ago if we would still be together, I am not sure what my answer would have been. But I can tell you 3 years later I will say we are happily together. It was almost noon before I realized it was Dday (it is Cinco D Mayo after all). We just took a "why the hell not" trip for Vegas for a few day, just us. My husband did the work I required for us to stay together, and continues to do so. I am glad I stayed, I am glad we worked on us. I am glad we are still US. I know not everyone gets to this point, so wanted someone to hear that sometimes it does work.

Me- old enough Him-old enough to know better
Married 22 years
DD 5/5/19 -serial sexter with 2 encounters
Yep, we have kids
Working on Us- in Reconciliation

posts: 155   ·   registered: Jul. 16th, 2019
id 8733713
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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 10:14 PM on Thursday, May 5th, 2022

Very cool. smile

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 27110   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8733744
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ISurvivedSoFar ( Guide #56915) posted at 10:27 PM on Thursday, May 5th, 2022

This is a fabulous R story AnnieMae. Congratulations.

Why do you think you stayed if you thought you wouldn't a year and two years ago?

DDay Nov '16
Me: BS, a.k.a. MommaDom, Him: WS
2 DD's: one adult, one teen,1 DS: adult
Surviving means we promise ourselves we will get to the point where we can receive love and give love again.

posts: 2796   ·   registered: Jan. 15th, 2017
id 8733748
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Ladybugmaam ( member #69881) posted at 10:49 PM on Thursday, May 5th, 2022

Thank you so much for sharing this!

EA DD 11/2018
PA DD 2/25/19
One teen son
I am a phoenix.

posts: 233   ·   registered: Feb. 26th, 2019
id 8733755
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getbusyliving ( member #71058) posted at 2:40 AM on Friday, May 6th, 2022

Lovely story and thank you for sharing plus I have looked up and learnt about "Cinco de Mayo". I learn a lot on SI laugh

BS:54 (me). WS:54. together 30 yrs on DD1 March 2017.

TT /lies until DD2 July 2017OL,P, EA, Sex workers.

Dates known: 1991, 2004, 2009, 2011, 2016, 2017.

posts: 63   ·   registered: Jul. 21st, 2019   ·   location: Aotearoa /NZ
id 8733784
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The1stWife ( member #58832) posted at 8:24 AM on Friday, May 6th, 2022

Glad to hear of a happy outcome. Glad it worked out.

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled.

posts: 11864   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8733816
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 AnnieMae (original poster member #71018) posted at 5:21 PM on Friday, May 6th, 2022

This is a fabulous R story AnnieMae. Congratulations.

Why do you think you stayed if you thought you wouldn't a year and two years ago?

Because I was not sure I could "let it go" for lack of a better word. I was not sure I wanted to stay when I would feel like i need to always check his phone, or would never be able to feel comfortable enough for healing. I did not want to stay in a marriage where his actions permeated the future, where it had the past. But through time and hard work I have gotten to that place where I see future. I have forgiven and let myself heal. While I will never forget, it it not the central focus of US anymore.

Me- old enough Him-old enough to know better
Married 22 years
DD 5/5/19 -serial sexter with 2 encounters
Yep, we have kids
Working on Us- in Reconciliation

posts: 155   ·   registered: Jul. 16th, 2019
id 8733983
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ChamomileTea ( Guide #53574) posted at 11:15 PM on Friday, May 6th, 2022

Great news. Very happy for you both. smile

BW: 2004(online EAs),
2014 (multiple PAs)
Married 38 years;
in R with fWH for 7

No one can make you into a liar but you.

posts: 5429   ·   registered: Jun. 8th, 2016   ·   location: U.S.
id 8734024
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Want2BHappyAgain ( member #45088) posted at 4:57 PM on Sunday, May 8th, 2022

GREAT post...thanks so much for sharing grin !!!

While I will never forget, it it not the central focus of US anymore.

AMEN!! I don't believe ANY of us could ever forget the traumatic moments in our lives. But the further away we get from the traumatic moments...the more we see that we CAN get through them and have a WONDERFUL life on the other side...despite them smile .

This would be an AWESOME post to put in the "Positive Reconciliation Stories" thread that is pinned at the TOP of this Forum grin !! This way...even MORE people will be able to read that last sentence you wrote in your post! All you have to do is copy your post and then paste it into that thread blink .

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6035   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8734212
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rugswept ( member #48084) posted at 8:24 PM on Sunday, May 8th, 2022

We want recovery whenever that makes sense and can work.
You did it and it is working. It's great to see success.

R'd (rug swept everything) decades ago.
I'm big on R. Very happy marriage but can never forget.

posts: 1004   ·   registered: Jun. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: Northeast US
id 8734237
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