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Newest Member: Hurtingstrong

Off Topic :
Just so weary

Topic is Sleeping.
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 courageous (original poster member #34477) posted at 5:08 AM on Friday, March 4th, 2022

I’m just so weary and worn out. Work has been rough for the last year. We have been short handed and haven’t been able to get anyone to show up once they have been hired. I normally just "assist" 3 people but I have been assisting 10 for over a year. I have a heavy workload because I multi task and do a good job. I have been working they lunch or taking home work (I’m salary so I don’t get paid overtime). There’s just too much work for me. The company is nice and are family oriented but I work with a majority of men and they have wives at home taking care of their kids.

Meanwhile in my house the kids have been picking on each other… and me. I really wish I had someone to lighten my load or even talk to. Thanks for letting me vent.

Me: BW (in my 40's) Him: ExWH EA/PA with MOW coworker(also married). He ended up marrying his mistress.

posts: 880   ·   registered: Jan. 9th, 2012   ·   location: Texas
id 8721034
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DragnHeart ( member #32122) posted at 1:14 PM on Friday, March 4th, 2022

I'm sorry things are so rough. I wanted to let you know you've been heard. Hugs.

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25839   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8721098
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 8:16 PM on Friday, March 4th, 2022

(((Courageous))) Vent away.
I hope things get better at work soon. And that your kids cut the crap.

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6241   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8721286
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 courageous (original poster member #34477) posted at 1:51 AM on Saturday, March 5th, 2022

Thank you DragnHeart and BearlyBreathing. I struggled with sleep last night so I didn't get to sleep until 3am. After only having about 3 hours of sleep it was nice to see your kinds words today. I got to work today and one of the guys I work with who is also the vp thanked me for my help and told me he doesn't thank me enough. It was nice that he recognized my hard work.

I just happened to receive an email today about burnout and work stress. I really need to take a deep breath more often, drink less caffeine and attempt to get more sleep.

Luckily the kids left to their dad's house for the weekend almost 2 hours ago. I'm already in my pj's and had donuts for dinner grin I'm going to attempt to go to sleep early. I have a massage scheduled tomorrow and in 2 weeks I get a week off from work.

Me: BW (in my 40's) Him: ExWH EA/PA with MOW coworker(also married). He ended up marrying his mistress.

posts: 880   ·   registered: Jan. 9th, 2012   ·   location: Texas
id 8721317
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outofsorts ( member #70701) posted at 3:28 AM on Monday, March 7th, 2022

Oh courageous, I can relate to this post so much!

My company was very hard hit due to COVID and we're now down to 60% fewer staff than we had two years ago. I'm working about 3-4 jobs with pay that is about 20% lower than pre-COVID.

Some days are better than others but I try to set boundaries - making sure that I at least take a lunch break most days. I have just recently started turning my email off at night so that I don't even see emails come it. Part of me hates that because I don't know what I will walk into the next day but it's been helpful for my mental health.

Any tips you have are also welcome smile . It's such an awful situation and I'm sorry you're going through this!!

Me(BW): 40WH: 40 Married 7 years, together 20.
Dday 2/22/19 Reconciling

posts: 402   ·   registered: Jun. 4th, 2019
id 8721513
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 courageous (original poster member #34477) posted at 2:19 AM on Tuesday, March 8th, 2022

((outofsorts)). I’m sorry you are having to work so hard.

Boundaries? What are those? laugh I struggle with saying no at work. I have to remind myself to take care of my work before helping other people. I tried going for walks during my lunch break. I would walk about 2 miles and less stressed when I got back to work but then I would experience brain fog and move slower.

I have just recently started turning my email off at night so that I don't even see emails come it. Part of me hates that because I don't know what I will walk into the next day but it's been helpful for my mental health.

for me that’s why I have been working from home at night (I take a computer home and do some work). I currently have 100 unread emails that I haven’t been able to get to. duh I feel like I’m get farther and farther behind.

If you have any ideas I’m all ears too. grin

Me: BW (in my 40's) Him: ExWH EA/PA with MOW coworker(also married). He ended up marrying his mistress.

posts: 880   ·   registered: Jan. 9th, 2012   ·   location: Texas
id 8721680
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Tallgirl ( member #64088) posted at 2:05 PM on Sunday, March 20th, 2022

Hi courageous, I have a work overload problem too.

I actually felt so much stress on Wednesday this week I could feel my heart pounding. It’s never happened like that before. I know I’m at my Max.

I think what you’re doing is really good, walks, breaks, trying to sleep, talking about it.

Here are a few things I know people do….

1. Ask for the priority. Indicate what must be put at the bottom of the list so that priority can be completed

2. Delegate. If it is not your role, redirect or delegate it.

3. Do not attend all meetings. Only the ones you need. I find my day is all meetings and I have no time to work or think.

4. Put an out of office or an automated response telling people that you will read their email and respond within two days. Or whatever amount of time makes sense. This way they don’t expect immediate response.

5. Ask for help. Talk to your boss. Ask your teammate. When you ask people are usually fairly open to helping

6. Say no. If you are at your max, and you need to slow down or just work a normal long day. You need to say no. It does no one any good if you need to take time off because you get sick.

7. Take a little bit more time for you. Can you get help at home. Can you use a grocery delivery service? Have your house cleaned once a month? Use one of those Meal delivery services? Engage lawn service? Maybe you can also lighten work at home.

8. I am trying a meditation class soon. Hoping that can calm my brain down so I can sleep.

Anyways there might be an idea In this list that might help.

[This message edited by Tallgirl at 4:45 PM, Sunday, March 20th]

Standing tall

posts: 2229   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2018
id 8724411
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Mel61 ( member #43697) posted at 3:47 PM on Sunday, March 20th, 2022

Will add you all to my prayers. I am so thankful that I was able to retire prior to all this and don't have the added stress you have. For stress try a warm/hot bath if you can before bed that helped me some with sleeping and stress levels.

Trying to hold it together

posts: 217   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2014   ·   location: Midwest
id 8724425
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 courageous (original poster member #34477) posted at 4:39 AM on Friday, March 25th, 2022

I took a week off of work last week and it was wonderful. I enjoyed spending time with my kids. I went back to work this week looking forward to having a new person starting at the end of the month…. I get to work and several of my coworkers told me that I wasn’t allowed to go on vacation ever again because they had it so rough. Then they tell me that the person that was going to start at the end of the month decided to not leave her current job after all so we are still short help. Someone mentioned they never realized how much I really do and several people were glad I was back because the atmosphere was very tense without me.

Hi Tallgirl. I’m sorry you are overloaded with work. I like your advice.

1. Ask for the priority. Indicate what must be put at the bottom of the list so that priority can be completed

i help several different people so one minute I have a top priority and the next minute I have a different priority. I’m constantly changing directions regarding what I’m working on. I’m trying to remind myself to do only one task at a time. I think that has been helping some.

2. Delegate. If it is not your role, redirect or delegate it.

my mantra this week was "that sounds like a you problem and not a me problem." I’m only saying it to myself but I have to stop trying to do the job of 2 people and working overtime. The more I handle the more they give me to do. It’s not my fault we are short staffed and I shouldn’t be trying to make up for it all by myself.

6. Say no. If you are at your max, and you need to slow down or just work a normal long day. You need to say no. It does no one any good if you need to take time off because you get sick.

No? what is that word? I really struggle with saying the word no. I wonder if this a woman thing… just like apologizing when it’s not your fault?

Will add you all to my prayers.

thank you Mel61, I really appreciate it blush

Me: BW (in my 40's) Him: ExWH EA/PA with MOW coworker(also married). He ended up marrying his mistress.

posts: 880   ·   registered: Jan. 9th, 2012   ·   location: Texas
id 8725604
Topic is Sleeping.
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