SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Divorce is final in one week.

Insurance is sending EOB to my one-more-week-and-WE-DONE. I am not certain why.

I already got my own medical plan so he no longer has access. It’s the eye and dental that are sending notices to him.

He has turned into a stage 5 clinger and will use any reason to text me. Anything he can glom onto, to remind me of his relevance. Any tenuous tie he can tether us together with, to say "see? There’s still a ‘we’."

Imagine that, pursuing sin did not fix your unhappiness and now you are having buyers remorse. Who could have seen that coming?

There is no "we", motherfucker. And my friends and I all laugh at your stupid desperate texts.

I have not yet blocked him because there is the matter of his pension division and the government refusing to pay me directly until after the divorce is final. Hopefully by April 1 that will be all wrapped up.

He blew up my phone yesterday because he "saw" that I had my eye exam and got new glasses. He wanted to alert me that I owed $40 to the optometrist. Oh, and did I get my dental in?

He was very concerned that I was maxing out these benefits before "losing" them forever. He’s looking out for me, don’t you understand that? He "still cares" about me.

I have forgiven him for cheating. I have moved on and my life is so happy and full, I cannot even tell you.

But it is grossly offensive to have him acting like a concerned friend. It’s obscene.

I could here that song "the final countdown" in my head reading your title.
Hang in there…. Almost to the finish line.

Yep, definitely sounds like he wants to stay relevant in your life. It's pathetic. Can you believe you built a life with this dude? Hahahahaha, bye.

Isn't it weird how SO CONCERNED they are when they don't have a window into our lives anymore ?!

I told my 1st H that if he had spent HALF the time working ON our M like he was trying to get me back...after cheating TWICE...we would have still been married . His efforts were too little too late. Almost 40 years later and I have NO regrets over going for D with him !!

ONWARD and UPWARD Dear Lady !!!

Some of these cheaters only want what they can’t have

The1stWife: YOU SAID IT!!!!!

The first time he cheated, was very early in our marriage. Back in the 90's. I was fit and active, we went hiking every weekend.

And he fucking cheated on me then.

Time passed, we all got older, as it happens. I developed some health problems which led to a sedentary lifestyle...which led to depression and weight gain.

When he left me, he cited all this as factors. I was too fat and out of shape, he was healthy and active! He deserved someone who could keep up with him! I wasn't that person, and he wasn't going to waste his life waiting on me to get my shit sorted out (and yes, he said this to me, almost verbatim.)

Well for one thing...what was his excuse the first time? I wasn't too fat and out of shape the first time, but he still cheated on me.

And then I got treatment for my depression, got my shit unfucked, lost a bunch of weight, and I am RUNNING these days! YES! RUNNING!

He shit a green twinkie when he heard this from the grapevine and texted me to ask me about it (he said, "it's none of my business but...." and I said, "you're right, it's none of your business.")

Fuck you. You don't get to see pictures of what I look like now. You don't get to see how great I'm doing. Fuck you to hell! You don't get to know all the awesome things that have happened to me since February of 2017, when I learned you were fucking that desperate, sad little skank!

You and her have WAY more in common than you and I ever will, you garbage human being. Stay where you at, the door here is closed to you forever.

Oh Girl, I hear you.

My husband cheated on me just shy of our fifth wedding anniversary.
I was 27 years old and glorious. Stunning. I'm not even kidding.
Not only that, he cheated while we were in escrow for our first house, an endeavor with which we had *no* help. We earned and saved every single cent from current earnings with two babies in tow.
And, against the direct and explicit instructions from our realtor and the mortgage company, he took almost our entire down payment and closing cost money out of the bank, he 'borrowed' it, on nothing more than a verbal assurance that it would be reimbursed by the agency that was asking him to take this trip, *after* the trip was over.
The mortgage company made it very clear that they were monitoring our bank balances while we were in escrow, making sure that our down payment and closing costs were parked there for the duration. At that time, this practice was a routine part of qualifying for a mortgage.
Of course, he 'borrowed' that money against my clearly stated wishes, and the whole time he was gone, and for at least two weeks after he returned, I had to live with the anxiety of that hole in our bank account.

And he cheated on me, on that trip. =/

To the best of my knowledge, he has not cheated since.

I'm here because about 3 years 8 months ago, I randomly found out (long story) that the incident, which he much minimized at the time, was *much* more 'involved' than he admitted years ago when it occurred.

Thoroughly fucked my head, that did. =/

I'm older now.
We are older now.
I am post menopausal.
I am heavier than I was at age 27.
IMHO, I'm still attractive.

Having been through what I've been through for the past 3 years 8 months, if he cheats again, I'm GONE. I've made that very clear, and there is no doubt in my mind. I'm not going through this again.

If I found out that there's been other incidents in the interim since then and now that he's not been honest about during this 3 year 8 month discovery period/relationship reset, I'm GONE. I do not have the capacity for one more ounce of trickle truth, for one more millisecond of doubt or drama.

We've had an entire adult life between then and now.
While to the best of my knowledge he hasn't committed sexual or romantic infidelity since, it's not been easy and it's not been free of issues.

In terms of additional/further infidelity, and attempting further reconciliation, the juice ain't worth the squeeze.

I am so glad you cut your soon to be ex off.
That whole 'beauty pageant' vibe is plucking my last nerve from afar.
Fuck him for thinking and acting like he sets the standard and it's up to you to meet it to hold his interest or affections or simple honesty and integrity.

I was 27 years old and glorious. Stunning. I'm not even kidding.

Oh I feel this to my marrow, and I completely believe you. I was too. When I looked at all the old pictures of the two of us, I was like what the fuck was I doing with him?

At the time we got together, SO MANY PEOPLE told me that I was WAY out of his league.

Well guess what, I still am lol.

I have to tell you--I am shocked at the men who have come out of the woodwork. Truly shocked. Someone half my age gave me his number unprovoked by me. I thought gosh I'm in my 50's now, kind of saggy, kind of baggy, most certainly wrinkled.

As it turns out, my spark and my vibe are way more attractive than they've ever been. In 1 week, 3 different people(strangers) said to me, "you have such great energy".

Lose a cheater, gain a life as they say. I am so "me" now.

You were out of his league then, you are out of it now. You were shackled to a man who did not appreciate or value you. But you no longer have to be. You can choose something different. And let me just say, sis--it's so beautiful on this side of things.

FTGN, I believe you too!

My biggest problem with turning 40 (and I was still rocking a bikini at 40) was that 50 was the next major milestone and 50 just sounded *so old.*

I found that my 50s were a blast.
And, as you have also noticed, guys were still interested. ;)
I didn't pursue that, nor act on it, and in fact I *did* kind of 'let myself go' in that I stopped 'dressing to be seen' and relaxed a lot more. I left the house without makeup! I dressed more casually! Etc.

Guys still noticed. Guys still paid attention. Hell, I've had guys chat me up in flipping COSTCO, while I was dressed for groceries, lol!

Amazingly, I've found the same thing now, past age 60. It hasn't stopped. I'm post 'frump' now for my own attitude, but I *absolutely refuse* to dress like I'm trying to be 22 years old, or even like I'm trying to be 32 years old. So I'm not doing the 'Look at me! Look at me!' thing, and yet, guys still notice. Guys still notice enough that my husband sees it too.

I don't invite that but I can't say that I'm sorry that it happens, LOL.

I'm so happy for you on this glorious new journey!

P.S. Green Twinkie, lol. I HOPE IT HURT!

My grandmother was widowed 3x. Three great Husbands. Last one she met in her 70s. He loved her for many reasons but she was funny and very kind.

I remember during the year of my H’s affair I was at the hair salon. It was the worst time of his affair and I was struggling. I was laughing and talking with the owner when another woman turned to me and said I had such a positive vibe and looked so happy.

If she only knew.

I look back at those 3 years during his affair and reconciliation period and wonder how I survived it. I know I was faking it. Academy award performance if I do say do myself.

It truly is incredible how much time they waste on the thrill when they could have devoted that time to true happiness within marriage.