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Newest Member: Seekinghelptoo

New Beginnings :
Finally Came Face to Face with Other Woman

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 Fablegirl (original poster member #56784) posted at 5:23 PM on Wednesday, December 15th, 2021

It finally happened: I saw AP at a Christmas Party with WXH. Even better, we chatted for about 20 minutes about mundanities. I had no racing thoughts, clammy hands or rage. My initial thoughts about the experience are that she's uninteresting and a lot more afraid of me than I am of her.
When she first spotted me, her expression reminded me of a trapped, panicked animal. But my compartmentalization skills were in full throttle and I felt nothing except fascination for her artificial look -- painted eyebrows, waxy skin (like one too many chemical peels had happened), dental veneers. WXH stood there like a dumbfounded troll. My favorite moment came when my SO, who is 6'5" and towers over everyone including the two of them, leaned down to politely introduce himself to AP and she said, "I think you know my name."
Funny how grief becomes less interesting. It never goes away, it just becomes something I am less invested in as the years go by and I enjoy life more as a single person. I have also come to realize how I dodged a bullet with my marriage. I was an unhappy wife, yes but not the "wicked witch" that WXH described in divorce papers, nor in their narrative about me as a vengeful ex-wife to justify their betrayal.
For the first time since the unraveling of my marriage in 2016 and divorce in 2019, I am at peace.

posts: 226   ·   registered: Jan. 9th, 2017   ·   location: Mid Atlantic
id 8704293
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The1stWife ( member #58832) posted at 6:41 PM on Wednesday, December 15th, 2021

You rock and you’re son is just awesome!!!

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled.

posts: 11183   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8704305
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grubs ( member #77165) posted at 6:54 PM on Wednesday, December 15th, 2021

Unanswered Prayers by Garth Brooks really speaks to me when I look back on my first marriage. Congrats on the perspective.

posts: 900   ·   registered: Jan. 21st, 2021
id 8704310
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Tallgirl ( member #64088) posted at 12:43 AM on Thursday, December 16th, 2021

You made it! Congratulations… well done

Legally separated, one more step.

posts: 1787   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2018
id 8704392
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 4:11 PM on Thursday, December 16th, 2021

Excellent story! Love your growth and perspective.

Me: BS 54 (49 on d-day)Him: WH. 64D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA
Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 4374   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8704500
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Shehawk ( member #68741) posted at 2:50 PM on Friday, December 17th, 2021

Indifference is golden.

Way to go Fable!

posts: 827   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2018   ·   location: VA
id 8704707
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Simplicity ( member #60501) posted at 4:03 PM on Tuesday, December 21st, 2021

The best part: being in peace.

posts: 1259   ·   registered: Sep. 5th, 2017   ·   location: USA
id 8705299
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