Wow. Life really throws us some curveballs, doesn’t it?
The bottom line, of course, is whether or not you are willing to be of this kind of service. You seem to have thought of all that it will entail.
I know that you know this already, but it will truly be difficult. Although I am not divorced, I am my husbands full-time, round the clock care giver. I have to admit that it is difficult sometimes for the whole betrayal issue to rear its ugly head. But I’d rather just put my head down and keep in mind that it is a choice that I have made, that I would actually make again. I get that many peopleAre critical of such a decision, or at the very least feel that it is a poor one. But we all have to do what we think we should do.
I really like what Bigger contributed to the situation. It is totally not unreasonable to get paid for helping him, and for expecting that in exchange for putting your life basically on hold for a couple of years, that you could benefit in other ways such as being cared for through his estate in someway or another.
There are just so many things to think of.
I guess I don’t really have any words of wisdom, just wanting to tell you that you’re not alone. I have days when I can hold my head high because I believe that I am doing "what’s right". But honestly, I also have days where I feel that my life is being robbed from me. Of course, there is no time limit for my husband. For him, it will be the rest of his life. But I think you also have to consider that you have no idea what may happen as a result of the surgery, and your ex husbands situation may become more long-term if something unforeseen happens during the surgery or during his attempted recovery. And you need to think of how you would feel about a decision you would have to make at the end of two years, if you found out that it was going to be more permanent.
I think I’m just rambling here. Please PM me if you would like to ask me anything about my situation and I’m more than happy to share with you. There are certainly ups and downs involved, but when all is said and done each person needs to choose to do what they feel is right.
I wish you luck in trying to determine that for yourself. Hugs!