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Newest Member: cobblerock

New Beginnings :
Update from Southern Colorado

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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 2:42 PM on Thursday, December 21st, 2023

Glad you had a great time with your family and Teacher. It sounds like you had a fantastic time and saw some awe-inspiring places.

Glad you made it back safe & sound.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3567   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8818952
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Shehawk ( member #68741) posted at 6:21 PM on Thursday, December 21st, 2023

"Yup, I'm there. We're talking about jewelry and are starting to make some plans"

Happy for both of you.

"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!

posts: 1675   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2018   ·   location: US
id 8818982
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 countrydirt (original poster member #55758) posted at 6:20 PM on Saturday, January 6th, 2024

Update for the first of the year.

We were both exhausted after our return from Europe and heading right back to work. My youngest son flew to California to spend Christmas with my oldest son so I was flying solo. Teacher and I shared Christmas Eve together and shared our presents then drove to my older brother's house for Christmas Day and enjoyed seeing them and visiting. We then traveled to her sister's home for a few days with them. After the first of the year, Teacher flew to Arizona to see her son. I will be picking her up at the airport this evening.

I've been making music with a few friends and enjoying that as well. School starts back on Monday so I will need to get ready for that and stop sleeping in! We already have a "date" for salsa dancing class set for her birthday later this month and may go to a cowboy poetry gathering this weekend.

Life is good.

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021
Life is Good!

posts: 528   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   ·   location: Colorado
id 8820508
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 6:37 PM on Saturday, January 6th, 2024

I hope you take your last line and add it to your signature. Life IS good. And you built this good life. So happy for you.

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6059   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8820510
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 10:32 PM on Saturday, January 6th, 2024

Wow - you had a jam-packed break. I was getting tired just reading about it. LOL.

So glad you're enjoying life right now. You deserve it.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3567   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8820524
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 countrydirt (original poster member #55758) posted at 4:08 PM on Saturday, January 13th, 2024

My XW and I have remained on friendly terms. She shared details and photos of her trip to see our oldest on for Thanksgiving and I shared photos of my trip to Europe to see our 2nd son. She wanted to get together sometime over our Christmas breaks to hear more about the trip so we finally met for coffee this weekend.

It was a nice visit. We fell right into being able to visit and joke and look at pictures just like we did for many years. But, to be honest, there were also some awkward moments as well as some uncomfortable silences but we did mend some fences and overall it was nice. We have 3 fantastic sons and will always have a connection that way. She mentioned that this Christmas was the first time in over 35 years that she didn't have one of her "boys" (me included) with her on Christmas day and that it pretty tough. This was the first time we've had an extended conversation beyond our sons or the details of the divorce since early in the separation.

Later I went to Teacher's house. She had been out of town for the day helping a friend who had a surgical procedure. I asked if I could bring some food and we could just be together. Teacher almost demurred because she said she was feeling depressed and wasn't sure if she would be good company. But I insisted and it was the right choice.

She loved the food that my son made and didn't mind having some leftovers. We watched the news together and laughed and snuggled on her sofa which pretty quickly turned into a teenage make out session tongue You people understand wink

Later, while catching our breath, we talked more and she mentioned that she felt a little threatened that I had coffee with XW. So we held onto each other and talked it out. We all have our insecurities and I reminded her that even though she did say she thought it was silly that she felt threatened her feelings are valid and even if based on something that will NEVER happen, the feelings are real.

I think its important to never be afraid to tell each other how we are feeling.

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021
Life is Good!

posts: 528   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   ·   location: Colorado
id 8821117
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 5:07 PM on Saturday, January 13th, 2024

It is always amazing to me (and it shouldn’t be) how effective clear communication is. It’s harder than it sounds, but boy is it worth it. And you are a walking illustration of that effectiveness! Glad that a potentially fraught situation went well.

(PS I like the addition to your signature box!)

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6059   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8821122
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 countrydirt (original poster member #55758) posted at 8:46 PM on Saturday, January 13th, 2024

Thanks BearlyBreathing!

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021
Life is Good!

posts: 528   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   ·   location: Colorado
id 8821138
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 countrydirt (original poster member #55758) posted at 7:11 PM on Sunday, January 21st, 2024

Teacher related a funny story from her work. She was having lunch with a batch of colleagues and one asked something about her travels. Teacher said she went to Vienna. The co-worker wanted to know why Vienna and Teacher said she bumbled around trying to explain that she went with her "very special friend" and the school secretary called her out on it and practically shouted, "Why don't you just call him your boyfriend?!" Laughter ensued.

So my girlfriend and I went to a salsa dancing class last night. I think she has real potential, but I'm not so sure about my abilities. It is so different than country western dancing and we had to stop several times to keep ourselves from lapsing into that style. But we had a great time and promised each other that we'd do it again soon!

This morning we were talking about our normal breakfast routines on the weekend. She had offered me yogurt or eggs among other things. I asked her what she normally had on weekend days and she said mainly just coffee when she was alone, but how she enjoyed making things for me when I was there. That sure made me smile. When I cleared the table this morning after we ate, she tried to make a deal out of me not needing to do that and I just smiled and said, "Well, its the least I can do," and that made her smile.

We sure smile a lot now.

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021
Life is Good!

posts: 528   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   ·   location: Colorado
id 8822010
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Shehawk ( member #68741) posted at 2:45 AM on Monday, January 22nd, 2024

:)

"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!

posts: 1675   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2018   ·   location: US
id 8822032
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grubs ( member #77165) posted at 10:07 PM on Monday, January 22nd, 2024

The co-worker wanted to know why Vienna and Teacher said she bumbled around trying to explain that she went with her "very special friend" and the school secretary called her out on it and practically shouted, "Why don't you just call him your boyfriend?!" Laughter ensued.

A couple of years after we started dating, my wife and I attended one of my nieces HS graduation party. As my sister was making introductions since there were people from both her and her husbands families that really last interacted at her wedding if then. She made it to my now wife and mentally locked on how to describe her relationship due to the whole do you call them GF when you are 40+ thing. She ended up calling her my little buddy and we still joke about that a decade and more later.

posts: 1602   ·   registered: Jan. 21st, 2021
id 8822085
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WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 6:41 PM on Tuesday, January 23rd, 2024

I’m all caught up! So exciting about the jewelry shopping! I haven’t been to a wedding in well over a decade. I’ve got one next month, and 1 the month after. I’m actually looking forward to both. There IS healing and love on the other side of infidelity and divorce. I’m so happy for you and teacher, CD. We want all the details when it happens.

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4520   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8822172
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 6:15 AM on Friday, January 26th, 2024

I can't tell you how much I appreciate your updates, CD. You and Teacher make my heart smile.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3567   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8822439
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 countrydirt (original poster member #55758) posted at 2:21 PM on Sunday, January 28th, 2024

Interesting weekend. One of Teacher's nieces had a 59th birthday party, so we traveled to their house and enjoyed being with family. Niece and I talked about mountain men and book that we are both reading.

The birthday dinner was at a nice local restaurant. The "girls" all sat at one end of the table and they put the men on the other end. I sat with the other niece's husband at dinner and he was a little non-plussed that I am only a few months older than the birthday niece and 4 or 5 years older than him and his wife, the other niece. In his mind, Teacher is "old" and I am young. Teacher and I laughed about that and how the 6 year age difference is no longer and issue with us, but sometimes an issue for other people.

The next day we had breakfast with the family then drove about an hour to my parent's to take a birthday present to my dad who is turning 81 next week. She shared that her father and my dad share a birthday only 20+ years apart.

All of my family are country people and grandparents and great grandparents were homesteaders. Teacher's people, for the past couple of generations, were city people. So we dazzled and baffled Teacher with some reminiscing about country memories. She just can't believe that my mother didn't live in a house with electricity until she was nearly a teenager and I don't believe she can fathom how we lived and made it through by being so far away from "civilization". My grandfather started working as a cook's helper on a ranch at age 12 and a few months into that when the cook was fired for getting drunk became the ranch cook before he was a teenager and by age 14 was a cowboy on that same ranch in northern New Mexico.

My folks talked about how serious I was and how I didn't play around with kids my age since they just wanted to do stuff like "play" while I mainly wanted to do stuff like work cows and ranch. We all had a nice laugh when my mom said, "Well, you're finally playing around with people your own age!"

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021
Life is Good!

posts: 528   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   ·   location: Colorado
id 8822742
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 8:27 PM on Sunday, January 28th, 2024

Sounds like you had a nice weekend. I've been to a few functions where men were at one end and women at the other. Sometimes, it's easier for conversation.

Country/city differences can be fun. I've lived in the country for most of my life. Always had running water in the house, though. My grandma and her first husband did some homesteading in Montana before moving to Washington. Some of the stories my grandma would tell about how they did things was interesting.

Enjoyed your update, as always.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3567   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8822767
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 1:18 AM on Thursday, February 1st, 2024

Great update. And enjoy the story about your country life.

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6059   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8823137
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 countrydirt (original poster member #55758) posted at 5:44 AM on Thursday, February 1st, 2024

Thank you friends!

We're going to a bluegrass show tomorrow night. This particular band tours through here every couple of years. It was 2 years ago that we saw them and I think had our first out in public kiss. (Yes, men do remember those things - at least I do!). Well, it might not have be the first public kiss but it was a public kiss and I'm hanging my hat on that one!

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021
Life is Good!

posts: 528   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   ·   location: Colorado
id 8823157
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 3:27 PM on Thursday, February 1st, 2024

Have fun!

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3567   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8823174
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 countrydirt (original poster member #55758) posted at 3:24 AM on Saturday, February 3rd, 2024

The show was outstanding! We really enjoyed the music and even danced a little. Later, we had a very enjoyable time at home and then the darn alarms started going off that she had on her phone (for the workweek, but apparently not shut off for the weekend) and of course little Molly needed to get up many times to go out and be fed and go out and beg for more food, so the morning wasn't quite as restful as we hoped. She laughed at how I apparently jerked awake during the alarms. But a lovely breakfast and coffee got us going in the morning.

We are excited for a snowstorm coming in this weekend and are going on a snowshoe hike on Sunday. The organizer of the hike (a friend of hers and a hiking friend of mine) is so happy that we are joining. It's been two years since I've been on my snowshoes, so I'm pretty psyched to go.

We're still moving along and enjoying every minute we get together.

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021
Life is Good!

posts: 528   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   ·   location: Colorado
id 8823449
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 10:59 PM on Saturday, February 3rd, 2024

Enjoy your snowshoeing! I went once when I was in middle school. It's fascinating how the snowshoes keep you on top of the snow.

I'll bet the scenery is going to be beautiful with the recent snowfall.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3567   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8823499
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