Cookies are required for login or registration. Please read and agree to our cookie policy to continue.

Newest Member: HedgehogCat

The Book Club :
Complex Ptsd by Pete Walker

Topic is Sleeping.
question

 gmc94 (original poster guide #62810) posted at 12:31 AM on Friday, July 16th, 2021

Anyone read this? My (trauma experienced) IC recommended it. ​

I'm only a few pages in, but wow!

One tidbit was basically that if the powers that be were to recognize CPTSD, the DSM would go from an encyclopedia to a pamphlet (which is similar to some of Van der Kolk's stances).

It's kind of blowing my mind... and ... there's something that feels a little "off" that I can't quite put my finger on.

M >25yrs/grown kids
DD1 1994 ONS prostitute
DD2 2018 exGF1 10+yrEA & 10yrPA... + exGF2 EA forever & "made out" 2017
9/18 WH hung himself- died but revived

It's rude to say "I love you" with a mouthful of lies

posts: 3826   ·   registered: Feb. 22nd, 2018
id 8675931
default

crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 11:57 PM on Friday, July 16th, 2021

I will check this out. I have been diagnosed with C-PTSD and have read "The Body Keeps the Score."

fBS/fWS(me):49 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:51 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(19) DS(16)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Divorcing

posts: 8358   ·   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: California
id 8676293
default

Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 1:52 PM on Friday, July 30th, 2021

Will have to check this out. Also have PTSD diagnosis due to the LTA and multiple DDays and LTAP cyber stalking trying to duplicate our lives.

BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decades - Children (1 still at home) Multiple DDays w/same AP until I told OBS 2018 Cease & Desist sent spring 2021"Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"

posts: 3575   ·   registered: Oct. 13th, 2017   ·   location: East coast
id 8679791
default

ladyphoenix ( member #72766) posted at 1:00 PM on Sunday, September 12th, 2021

gmc,
thanks for this recommend. I listened to this in audiobook. It is very interesting. I will have to listen to it again to make sure I understand it completely. My memory hasn't been great since I found out so I need more than one exposure to retain information. I may also need to take notes next time.
I see how the trauma from our childhood can lead to the flashbacks and ways of managing conflicts in our lives. I thought the part about the four fs was interesting Flight, fight, freeze, or faun. Faun was a new one to me and I will explore this further for sure.
It actually made me think about how my own mother experienced relational trauma in her life and subsequently passed that on to her own children. The generational trauma is a huge roadblock to overcome. I have been able to start conversations with her about traumatic events in her life because of this book.
It will be interesting to see what I get out of a second read of this one. It's definitely worth a second read/listen.

M 24 years, together 30. DD1 Feb 2019, DD2(TT) June 2019, DD3 (TT) July 2019, (TT) March 2020, (TT) Sept 2020We have 3 children: 23,19, 14 and a grandson April 2019. We work daily on R and building a stronger relationship.

posts: 130   ·   registered: Feb. 8th, 2020   ·   location: Canada
id 8688138
default

SI Staff ( Moderator #10) posted at 11:43 PM on Thursday, December 2nd, 2021

smile

posts: 10009   ·   registered: May. 30th, 2002
id 8702206
default

cactusflower ( member #57437) posted at 5:25 PM on Friday, December 3rd, 2021

I read this book in the spring after I was separated. To say that it blew me away would be an understatement. All of the searching, reading, therapy etc. that I've done hadn't helped me very much and I was stuck trying to put the pieces together of what my life had been and the coping skills I used to navigate it. On these pages I saw how dysfunctional FOO effected my personality, self-esteem and personal assessments, choices in friends and lovers and interactions with other people. Light bulbs didn't go off - fireworks did. This was the help I was looking for.

Walker uses his own life experiences to help you deal with childhood trauma and neglect. While many of us know about PTSD, which is based on a single traumatic event, CPTSD is based on abuse over a period of time. Navigating the infidelity situation, I saw how and why I reacted the way I did and how weak I was as an individual when it happened.

This book gave me inner strength. It helped me see why I was broken even though I consider myself to be a tough, competent woman. He had many examples, questionnaires and tools to help you identify and deal with your particular issues. It was hard to read at times, the pain came back when I personally related to or felt compassion for one of his patient stories.

In addition to this, I read "The Narcissist in Your Life" by Julie Hall. Best book ever on identifying and dealing with Narcissists. It added to what I learned from Walker's book about toxic individuals and their impact in your life.

If you have been on the receiving end of abuse (whether by FOO or your spouse), I highly recommend it. Maybe you too will find your way back to you and your worth.

posts: 240   ·   registered: Feb. 14th, 2017
id 8702430
default

LosferWords ( member #30369) posted at 10:01 PM on Friday, December 3rd, 2021

I'm currently (slowly) working my way through this book. I would highly recommend it. Definitely not light reading, but so many "aha" moments. It has been helpful for me, personally, to work through this book while going through weekly EMDR therapy.

posts: 31109   ·   registered: Dec. 11th, 2010
id 8702483
Topic is Sleeping.
Cookies on SurvivingInfidelity.com®

SurvivingInfidelity.com® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

v.1.001.20221122 2002-2022 SurvivingInfidelity.com® All Rights Reserved. • Privacy Policy