I have never been the physically separated or divorced parent of younger kids, but I still think that unless he was in possession of my children at that moment, I would keep him blocked. People like him have nothing to share about the children, only info about himself. Just block him and don't tell him you did it.
The many strongly narcissistic exes in my past still, decades later, tug at my heart strings. I cannot explain it, and it honestly bothers me. My very ill and most likely dangerous psychopathic ex who is so mentally unwell now that he receives monthly disability has been sending me wacky snail mail loaded with political rants and juvenile memories and grievances. I have no desire to make merry with him or run off, but his letters upset me.
I've decided it is this: I feel so uncomfortable and restless and powerless when people that I care/cared about are so miserable. It helps to say, "Not my monkey," and I shake it off faster than years ago. But in the end, codependent types are so strongly empathetic and plugged into others that we just can't not care. We get depressed vicariously, like when Elliot gets sick because E.T. is sick. We're so plugged in to others. It just shows what a truly generous and caring heart you have, crazyblindsided.
Just keep reminding yourself (and your FOO instincts) that you did not cause it, and if you could solve it for him, you would. But you cannot, not when married and not when divorcing. You cannot control how he handles his own life, his decisions, his attitude. Taking care of you is not an attack on him; he is hurting himself. As an fyi, this is the common outcome for a narcissist. They suffer in their older years because they have alienated too many people and end up alone. But that is due to them, their illness, their inability to change and grow.
The narcissists I've known have ended up alone and lonely. They ruin every relationship.
[This message edited by OwningItNow at 10:19 PM, February 1st (Monday)]
