Newest Member: girlangry89

Just Found Out :
Wife of 20 yrs caught cheating

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OrdinaryDude ( Member #55676) posted at 3:49 AM on Thursday, September 2nd, 2021

These experiences have really changed my view of M in general, I tried to talk my son out if it but he wouldn’t have it unfortunately. I would have preferred he never marry than experience what I have and be basically financially trapped for life.

Had I known and understood divorce law here in Louisiana then like I do now, I could have D and walked away without being zapped with alimony.

[This message edited by OrdinaryDude at 9:50 PM, September 1st (Wednesday)]

Me - BH 50+
Her - WW 50+
Married 30+ years, 2 adult kids
(1989) PA Rug-Swept
(2002) EA Rug-Swept
(2016) EA *Getting Out Of Infidelity*

**Working at Reconciling**

posts: 3367   ·   registered: Oct. 19th, 2016   ·   location: The Big Easy
id 8686724
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Tigersrule77 ( Member #47339) posted at 1:43 PM on Thursday, September 2nd, 2021

What do I tell my son when he gets to the age of wanting to marry someone? The deck is stacked against you and should really think about this because down the road she can take half your sh*t even if you are good faithful husband!?

I would say to either a son or daughter, to quote the wise man, Kanye West, "If you ain't punk, holler "We Want Pre-Nup!"

I would agree that it is sad, but the reality is that it is better to protect yourself and agree to something to minimize any damage in the future. Even if it is just to have both parties waive spousal support.

posts: 1512   ·   registered: Mar. 27th, 2015   ·   location: Maryland
id 8686757
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HalfTime2017 ( Member #64366) posted at 8:39 PM on Thursday, September 2nd, 2021

The whole trend is a societal trap.

We now have plenty of divorcee's up in your Wive's ears about how great it is, how great the new sex live is, how great the freedom is.

I would caution allowing any married couple to being too friendly and tied to divorce individuals. They get in their ear and misery loves company. The TV shows and all that nonsense that is thrown in your face.

My exWW (a blessing now looking at my situation) was hanging out with a new divorcee. THis woman was married to a great guy, had a nice career and was a good father. Nope, somehow unhappy with the guy and thought she could do better. She was mouthing off to my ex, and I told my ex that she should keep that lady at bay. Anyway, you know how the story ends.

Here's the bright side of all this. Her ex, he found a great woman and he's now remarried. She is a nice lady, loves their step son, church loving couple. His ex, my exWW's friend, is still a single miserable low self esteem hippy. HA. I wonder if my exWW will end up the same.

When you have low self esteem, aging, and a player comes along, that's a recipe ripe for infidelity.

posts: 1144   ·   registered: Jul. 5th, 2018   ·   location: Cali
id 8686871
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ramius ( Member #44750) posted at 9:53 PM on Thursday, September 2nd, 2021

My business lawyer told me....”Never enter into a contract where the other party is incentivized to break it.”

How many scars have you rationalized because you loved the person who was holding the knife?

Their actions reveal their intentions. Their words conceal them.

posts: 1604   ·   registered: Sep. 3rd, 2014
id 8686887
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 CM70 (original poster Member #76077) posted at 6:59 PM on Friday, September 10th, 2021

Hey Everyone, well it was a really long week but the good news is she is out! The moving company came & went on Tuesday this week, and a large chunk of new furniture arrived to my house on Wednesday. The kids stayed with her on Tuesday night and it was really weird having a large quiet house to myself. I am glad my dog was there to hang out with me smile . We finalized the assets and I came out pretty well had to pay her half of the equity in the house, agreed I would pay the kids college, (which I would have done anyway), and she did not get her claws into my 401K. I am doing well especially since I don't have to be around her. Long story but everything won't probably be finalized until December but we signed & agreed on the custody plan the the asset distribution. Kids are doing OK they have their moments and have told me a few times we just want to stay in our house (My house) and not go back & forth. So it will be and adjustment but overall I am at peace.

[This message edited by CM70 at 7:00 PM, Friday, September 10th]

posts: 96   ·   registered: Dec. 31st, 2020
id 8687979
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BlueRaspberry ( Member #76065) posted at 7:23 PM on Friday, September 10th, 2021

CM70,

Congratulations! Now you can start to heal by going NC as much as possible. Only speak to her about legal issues and/or child care.

Do your kids simply want to stay at home since it is familiar OR do they not want to spend time with their Mom? If it's the latter, do you know what is driving that? Hopefully she is keeping her AP away from them. December can't come soon enough! smile

posts: 218   ·   registered: Dec. 29th, 2020
id 8687984
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 CM70 (original poster Member #76077) posted at 7:33 PM on Friday, September 10th, 2021

BlueRas, I will have no problem with no contact. I cringe we she calls or texts me. I had to go to parent teacher conferences last night with her, and after we got done she says "Let's take the kids out to dinner". I just said no I am cooking dinner, goodbye!

The house is familiar and I have most of their stuff, much more space, the dog and I can actually cook unlike her. She is also on edge according to them, because she has to do all the things that she took me for granted for. She doesn't have the TV's hooked up, or WIFI because she couldn't tell you the difference between, a coax cable, Cat6, or an HDMI cable.

posts: 96   ·   registered: Dec. 31st, 2020
id 8687985
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BlueRaspberry ( Member #76065) posted at 8:57 PM on Friday, September 10th, 2021

CM70,

She is also on edge according to them, because she has to do all the things that she took me for granted for. She doesn't have the TV's hooked up, or WIFI because she couldn't tell you the difference between, a coax cable, Cat6, or an HDMI cable.

That would be funny if it wasn't so pathetic. You must have been carrying a lot of water for her over the years. You're a good man. It will take some time before she starts to realize it but by then it will be far too late.

posts: 218   ·   registered: Dec. 29th, 2020
id 8687987
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beb252 ( Member #78948) posted at 9:27 PM on Friday, September 10th, 2021

Once she realizes that whatever she's doing right now is a fantasy, she'll come back running. She created more void in her life when she tried to fill in some space that she thinks was missing. Her AP won't do the things you did to her, he's just there to fill her up with her sexual needs but nothing more.

posts: 376   ·   registered: Jun. 14th, 2021
id 8687993
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paboy ( Member #59482) posted at 3:56 AM on Saturday, September 11th, 2021

Good to hear your update. God bless.

posts: 586   ·   registered: Jul. 4th, 2017   ·   location: australia
id 8688027
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DictumVeritas ( Member #74087) posted at 3:57 PM on Saturday, September 11th, 2021

She is also on edge according to them, because she has to do all the things that she took me for granted for. She doesn't have the TV's hooked up, or WIFI because she couldn't tell you the difference between, a coax cable, Cat6, or an HDMI cable.

Yep the cables she has to handle is a a lot different from the cables she chose to handle.

You do you and keep on being a good man.

Your life is but a flicker to the cosmos and only the brightest flickers are recorded by history for good or bad. Most of us just want to live our lives without being interfered with.

posts: 225   ·   registered: Mar. 22nd, 2020   ·   location: South-Africa
id 8688072
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