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I swear every time I think Iím healed he finds a new way...

MakingMyFuture posted 12/24/2020 21:58 PM

I have a pretty awesome life. Kids are with me most of the time (dad wanted ďvisitationĒ) itís a ton of work but Iím grateful I can support the three of us get to well and have been navigating the home schooling mess while working in the best possible way.

Ive worked past how Dr Jekyll is and actually donít even have resentment that he has fun dad time, no costs, none of the responsibility and is financially set off the company he built with my support. I figure eventually itís all going to end up with the kids, so who cares?

Itís pretty hard for him to get to me. Just the last few years he insisted on having kids for holidays and proceeded to wreck them in some fashion. Kids and I weathered it like champs.

This year he had them for Christmas. I had hip replacement last Monday so he had kids for extra time so my elderly parents could come care for me (COVID safety) So he had them for one whopping week of school. Of course, he traded for other times not seeing them which I was fine with.

Parents left and kids were coming back Christmas Day afternoon and they were excited never having had a Christmas morning at Dads. I was really bummed to not have any of the Christmas traditions with them but I had made my peace with it and was slowly working my way through wrapping and getting house ready for their return.

Fucking X texts me TWO hours ago and says kids will be home by 8:30. His family did their celebration on Christmas Eve so heís dropping them off. Aka Mr swinger who has side piece #1 out of state and is flying out to see her has other plans with side piece #2 or #3 before he leaves.

So here I am covered in stitches on pain meds and trying to find/make the usual traditions come together with hours notice. Stockings, check! Family puzzle? Check. Cookies for Santa, he can have Oreos this year.

My kids will always know they come first in at least one house. But I am so sick of this POS getting away with everything.

Iím just venting and overall grateful that my year has sucked significantly less than everyone elseís and I actually WILL get to spend Christmas Eve and morning with my kids. But really? No notice? Staples down my side on 5 different drugs? I just needed a place to vent because I canít burden anyone else with this on this day...so just going to leave this here...

THERE IS A COLD PLACE IN HELL FOR ANY MAN OR WOMAN WHO PRIORITIZES A FUCK BUDDY OVER THEIR OWN KIDS.

Whew, just had to get that out. Iím going to pre-eat some Oreos with a few extra surgery meds and get ready to turn on the unexpected Christmas Eve cheer.

I hope you all have a peaceful holiday (s) and stay safe and sane and healthy. We are days away from rolling the calendar.

Sending love out to the SI community, you have been my sanity check and safety met more times than I can ever count.

If you are new to this...Never forget, you are not alone. Even when you are physically alone...we are here!

Hugs to all

JanaGreen posted 12/25/2020 01:42 AM

Huge hugs. I hope you and your kiddos end up having a wonderful Christmas! Best wishes for a speedy recovery!

Karmafan posted 12/25/2020 05:30 AM

MYF, you have been heard!

Visitation (aka Ďas and whení) dads are the toughest to co-parent with. Basically you are doing the job for them :(
I am sort of where you are, but I have learned to accept it and actually enjoy being the main caregiver :)

And I am sure your kiddos prefer a few oreos with loving, steadfast mom (even one in stitches!) than a mountain of cookies with errant dad!

Merry Christmas

[This message edited by Karmafan at 5:59 AM, December 25th (Friday)]

Phantasmagoria posted 12/25/2020 08:11 AM

Forget him! Youíre going to spend Christmas Day with your kids! There is no better day to spend with them than this!! His loss, totally your gain!!! Theyíll likely be disappointed in him, so push him out of your head and focus on enjoying your time together with them.

Iím a BS Dad. 3 of my 4 are here (currently sleeping), the 4th will be here in a few hours. Super happy theyíre with me, and so far my cooking has been totally on point...itís a Christmas miracle..haha!

MakingMyFuture posted 12/25/2020 09:20 AM

Thanks Everyone. Kids came home and we watched a movie and my daughter found some cookie dough in the freezer so she made ďSanta cookiesĒ. I told them I was glad they were home and they both hugged me so tight. It was his decision but I think they were both glad to be home.

So grateful I got this unexpected extra special time with them. Not many left. Just a shock for it to come up with bad I little n it ice and me not even in condition to drive or walk etc.

But we knocked iit out! Even had a carrot for the reindeer (which I happily nibbled while sneaking out their stocking this early am). Snuggling back into bed just grateful
They are home. Itís a Small Christmas and joy what we would normally do but so grateful for what we have and our health.


Huge merry Christmas and Ney Yeat to all you fellow survivird survivors. (Warriors, champions,Ďgood people committed to
Rebuilding a better life. Iím off to pop
My next regimen if
Surgery meds and hopefully sleep for a few more
Hours before the real chaos starts!

BetterTimesAhead posted 12/27/2020 17:34 PM

Happy to hear your Christmas turned out well.

Doesn't every cheater prioritize their fuck buddy over their kids? If they didn't, they would never cheat. They know it's going to affect their kids/marriage/family - they just don't care because their wants and needs come first, collateral damage be damned. I wouldn't think they would change just because you D them.

Hope you feel better soon. And enjoy the New Year with your family.

annanew posted 12/27/2020 18:15 PM

Wow, you are a star to have pulled off a short notice Christmas, and while recovering from surgery to boot! It's such a huge effort for me - and I'm functional with only one kid. It was especially hard this year because I am ALWAYS with my daughter. We have no where else to go. Right now there's no such thing as babysitters or playdates. So anything I am going to sneak, has to be done at night when she is asleep, and I am SO TIRED at night.

Anyway, I am super impressed. Great job mama.

Cooley2here posted 12/27/2020 18:24 PM

Post this all over your house. YOU CANNOT CHANGE HIM. He is who he is. A therapist I know says people like this never get past early childhood emotionally. He can talk a good game but the follow through is missing. You cannot change him.

Love on your sweet kids. Whatever else he has done in his life he gave you them.

Chrysalis123 posted 12/27/2020 20:32 PM

So grateful I got this unexpected extra special time with them. Not many left.

This. This is what it is all about. Fuck that guy and you relish your kids.

I hope you have a fantastic New Year with your precious kids.

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