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Thumos

My WW is constantly on guard against any woman talking to me. I don’t understand the hyper vigilance over something they so casually disregarded before.

Do you think maybe that is because the two of you attempted R and she failed miserably? She's finally seeing you move on and she can't deal with it?

Marz

You should send the stbxw a list of attributes that your FWB has that are better.

Just say this should help you to improve yourself.

No need to thank me

That would be funny. But at this point I don't want to rock the boat anymore than she has already rocked it. I want to continue to play the role of the kindhearted, decent, jilted husband who continues to be kind to his STBXWW despite her bad behavior. I'm taking the high road because I want to come out of this smelling rosy.

[This message edited by Westway at 3:37 PM, November 17th (Tuesday)]

JanaGreen

I wish my ex had some bitter rival I could have hooked up with.

What do they call it? Shadenfreude?

Oh it has been delish. It couldn't get more delish. In fact I called up FWB yesterday and told her to be on guard as the STBXWW may try to get nasty. I told her what happened and she laughed and said that it didn't surprise her at all, knowing what she knows about STBXWW and her history.

The1stWife

So based in your conversation w/ the BIL - he had no idea of his sister’s cheating Habits? I thought some of her family members knew or was that they knew her tendencies prior to being married?

He and the immediate family know it was adultery. That is all. They do not know how many.

My WW only thinks I have proof of four men, when actually I have proof of twelve. But I haven't tipped my hand on that yet.

[This message edited by Westway at 3:51 PM, November 17th (Tuesday)]

My cousin had this same problem Westway....

His D was already filed and he was just waiting on the courts.

His exWW found out he was seeing another woman and went bonkers......she cyberstalked and even made threats against his new girlfriend. She was telling others in the family he was cheating now himself, because they hadn’t gotten their final divorce decree and were still technically M (she badly wanted R, but my cousin had no interest).

He called her up and said it straight and direct:

“We are not divorcING.....we are divorcED. I personally could care less about the slow speed of paperwork processing in the California court system.”

He went on to tell her to knock off her shenanigans or he and his new gf would file harassment charges with the cops.

The entitlement of cheaters never disappoints.

So often they fear that the BS will get a taste of the fun they had.

They won’t come right out and say it. It’s usually couched in terms like, “ I know the pain and damage it causes” or some other such dribble.

But the truth is they fear that once the BS realizes they have value to others, and that sex with willing and interested parties is fun.....they will not want to settle for the WS.

You once said she has a nose like a buzzard. For some reason, I can’t escape the image of your crazy ex as the quintessential harpy.

What are you waiting for on the book of true facts? Who are you gonna give it to?

[This message edited by longsadstory1952 at 7:03 AM, November 18th (Wednesday)]

During my D, I met up with a mutual friend of ours for lunch and a hike. We just talked, ate lunch and hiked.

Exww found out and instantly said we were screwing each other and dating. She was absolutely furious. She laid into the friend and unfriended her after 30+ years of friendship.

It cracked both of us up pretty good. Apparently friends aren't allowed to eat and talk, nothing sexual happened at all. But during that moment I could just see my exww fuming in her delusional mind. A few weeks later the AP dumped her too. Poor thing

longsadstory1952

You once said she has a nose like a buzzard. For some reason, I can’t escape the image of your crazy ex as the quintessential harpy.

My STBXWW is very Italian and very ethnic looking. She literally has a Roman nose, but it is surrounded by a really lovely face. My WW would, to most people, be an attractive woman. If you have ever seen Gina Lollobrigida, my WW is a dead ringer for her except my WW has a slightly more pronounced proboscis.

What are you waiting for on the book of true facts? Who are you gonna give it to?

If my STBXWW continues on the harassment road I will let her family know about the four men that I knew about at the time I confronted my WW. I did not know about the other eight men until a couple weeks after DDay. I'm holding onto the evidence of those clowns if she ever tries to soil my rep in the future. However, I am going to let her know on the day we get our divorce decree that I have hard, physical proof of twelve men, and I then will run down the list of names with her over the phone, so that there is no question in her mind that I can destroy her if she pushes me to it. Her family have already come close to disowning her already.

[This message edited by Westway at 9:04 AM, November 18th (Wednesday)]

J707

During my D, I met up with a mutual friend of ours for lunch and a hike. We just talked, ate lunch and hiked.

Exww found out and instantly said we were screwing each other and dating. She was absolutely furious. She laid into the friend and unfriended her after 30+ years of friendship.

It cracked both of us up pretty good. Apparently friends aren't allowed to eat and talk, nothing sexual happened at all. But during that moment I could just see my exww fuming in her delusional mind. A few weeks later the AP dumped her too. Poor thing

If the friend is hot you should go for it.

Westway,

I think she is comparing the human qualities of your FWB to her screw partners and realizes you have 10x the net value, and will find love again unlike her.

She will never lose her bad reputation now, and will have to lie to get someone decent, not a great way to start a new relationship.

There is also the possibility you will send a warning email to whomever is about to marry her.

Her family relationships are no longer an asset to bring into a new marriage either.

Guess she took a vow of poverty and just didn't know it.

survrus I think you hit the nail on the head.

Thumos

My WW is constantly on guard against any woman talking to me. I don’t understand the hyper vigilance over something they so casually disregarded before.

Do you think maybe that is because the two of you attempted R and she failed miserably? She's finally seeing you move on and she can't deal with it?

More likely that they are just being true to form... that they always want what they do not/cannot have...

Well played Westway, but I think I would have put that thick dossier to good use already when she went ballistic about the FWB and/or if your STBEXWW bothers her. She's probably been looking for something like this to somehow justify her actions and say to others "see Westway wasn't a good husband after all, he must have been cheating on me with FWB for a long time".

I would at least call her now and add a couple of more names to the 4 she knows about and tell her you have many more and that one more bad word about you or FWB and it gets out to mutual friends and of course her brothers and "Vito Corleone", then after the ink is dry on the D decree make the phone call and mention the other 6 and of course that you know there must have been probably many more during your almost 2 and a half decades together.

Buster123

I would at least call her now and add a couple of more names to the 4 she knows about and tell her you have many more and that one more bad word about you or FWB and it gets out to mutual friends and of course her brothers and "Vito Corleone", then after the ink is dry on the D decree make the phone call and mention the other 6 and of course that you know there must have been probably many more during your almost 2 and a half decades together.

Man I'm sorely tempted. I woke up to a bad morning. I was triggering badly and thinking, "Doesn't this woman realize the pain I went through, am still going through?" I want to call her and ask her that but my pride won't let me.

"Doesn't this woman realize the pain I went through, am still going through?"

No she doesn't and she doesn't care. She'll most likely flip it back around saying how much pain you caused her or that shes knows the pain all to well or whatever. Atleast that's what mine did. I'm like, wtf are you talking about? Always the victim, these poor unremorcful cheaters.

Funny how the goose gets upset when the gander is getting some!

Years and years ago before I was married, I was dating a man that was already divorced and had two young kids with his ex. She had cheated on him and when they divorced, her AP dumped her like she had an incurable sexual disease.

Anyway, when she found out her ex was dating me, she literally gave birth to a cow. I have never seen someone react like that in my life. She made our lives miserable for months and it was HELL.

We eventually split up, but wow. What an experience it was.

It amazes me how these people think.

No she doesn't and she doesn't care. She'll most likely flip it back around saying how much pain you caused her or that shes knows the pain all to well or whatever. Atleast that's what mine did. I'm like, wtf are you talking about? Always the victim, these poor unremorcful cheaters.

Like trying to get water from a rock

Evertrying

Anyway, when she found out her ex was dating me, she literally gave birth to a cow. I have never seen someone react like that in my life. She made our lives miserable for months and it was HELL.

We eventually split up, but wow. What an experience it was.

It amazes me how these people think.

It makes me glad that I broke off the physical side of my friendship with FWB. We're still friends, just not FBs anymore. I'm sure if my WW had found out a couple months ago it would have been a total shitshow.

[This message edited by Westway at 4:37 PM, November 19th (Thursday)]

Man I'm sorely tempted. I woke up to a bad morning. I was triggering badly and thinking, "Doesn't this woman realize the pain I went through, am still going through?" I want to call her and ask her that but my pride won't let me.

I wouldn't even bother to ask her that, of course it's up to you though, but it's obvious she doesn't care. I would still give her one final warning and add at least a couple 2 more names to her AP list she knows you know about, don't wait for her to go ballistic again or smear FWB, I think a serious warning is in order this time, if you don't she may still go bat shit crazy on FWB or your next gf.