jailedmind posted 10/10/2020 05:55 AM

WS only

[This message edited by SI Staff at 8:08 AM, October 10th (Saturday)]

Snowyjune posted 10/10/2020 07:44 AM

The "love" I felt for AP was object love. It wasnt really anymore more than loving the way AP made ME feel.

Real love is commitment and sacrifice and selfless. Nothing an affair brings...

MyAndI posted 10/10/2020 11:52 AM

We always try to explain away our feelings about the OP by submitting to the idea that what we felt wasn't real love. I don't know if this is always true. I did love many traits about the OW. She made me feel the way BW did when we first met. She made an effort for me, was generous with her mind and body. But the point is I shouldn't have been developing feelings for someone else in the first place. The FOG isn't always based in fantasy. There are bonds that develop between waywards and their OPs. My mistake was not focusing on a life with my wife/soulmate, who I love more than anyone on this earth. I think we like to say the A was all FOG because it pleases the BS's ears, and fools us all into thinking we were in some kind of spell when with the OP. I think that's a cop out.

In MC our counselor forced us to be completely honest about our feelings for our OPs, it actually opened our eyes to what the OPs were giving us that we weren't giving to each other. The is not condoning our affairs, but it allowed us to speak to what we needed in the relationship and weren't getting from each other.

[This message edited by MyAndI at 11:59 AM, October 10th (Saturday)]

Justsomeguy posted 10/10/2020 15:11 PM

WS only but no stop sign. Which is it?

Darkness Falls posted 10/10/2020 15:21 PM

I assume it was a BS who started the thread since the entire post was removed by admin. So, not a valid topic thread.

[This message edited by Darkness Falls at 3:21 PM, October 10th (Saturday)]

JBWD posted 10/10/2020 18:31 PM

Correct.
Should go in “I Can Relate”