Me: WH (Multiple OEA/PA, culminating in 4 month EA/PA. D-Day 20 Oct 2018 41 y/o)Married 14 years Her: BS 37 y/o at D-Day13 y/o son, 10 y/o daughter6 months HB, broken NC, TT Divorced

Beautiful evening

DD asked if we could go for a drive tonight.

Took the kids out into the hills, silent and a beautiful moon overhead. So grateful to have them, and was briefly seized with a terror-

I don’t ever want them to feel the pain their Mother suffers.

I know I’m so lucky to have them and know that they feel their father’s love. And I know I can’t shield them from the world.

And I can’t believe the grace FIL and MIL continue to afford me.

Grateful. Sad our lessons are so hard-learned.

6 comments posted: Saturday, January 30th, 2021

Great read

Approved Link

Fixed vs growth mindsets. This is a little bit dated but it was just sent my way and is really relevant. Especially this statement:

“To Dweck’s devastation, the most toxic byproduct of the fixed mindset turned out to be dishonesty”

A great perspective on how we view and respond to the challenge of “failure.” This on the heels of “Rising Strong” where Brene Brown points out that we have such a broad spectrum of failures to face:

Compare minor revisions on a document for work to restructuring your life while adapting to the knowledge that your actions drastically and painfully altered that structure for other people. (Yup, even in the two I tip my hand on the challenge of labeling)

How have folks here adapted to understanding, responding to, and recovering from the shame of failure?

6 comments posted: Friday, January 1st, 2021