SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Tanner, I'm so sorry that life is so stressful right now. Is there a light at the end of the tunnel or are y'all stuck in limbo?

W2BHA - Pot pie is gross anyway. But yay for healthy interaction!

Today, I'm grateful that my daughter likes to call me a couple of times a week and chat for a long time while she cleans her house.

I'm grateful for my friends, especially my BFF. She's having a tough time and was isolating herself, which is TOTALLY unlike her. I thought she was talking to other people like she normally does, but she wasn't. Just me, which I found out when I assumed that another close friend knew what was going on. So I called in the cavalry and we drew her back into the circle. She's doing much better. We went for a nice walk last night with the dogs and made plans for a slumber party with the friend circle.

My H had a bit of an awakening about his behavior when he's angry and stressed. He's learning that he's in control of his reactions, and that going off emotionally doesn't do a damn thing to help fix things. (Nothing happened with us. This is about work and the post.)

Lots of gratitude overall. Life is good.

I am thankful for getting a pretty big pay rise today. I didn't ask for it, they just gave it to me!

W2bha—I’m glad you were able to work through that. And you should rest VERY easy in the knowledge that Cajun food is wayyyyyyy better than pot pie.

Tanner, I’m so very sorry that you and your family have such a tough road right now. Prayers.

I’m grateful because I went in to work today in the knowledge that I had to deal with a very, very difficult situation (think very, very troubled teenagers and some of the darker roads they can go down). I couldn’t sleep all night; I was sick about it. It’s one of those situations that is so tangled emotionally, morally, ethically, legally, professionally. . .

It got resolved, or at least moved down a path toward resolution. There was no disaster. It was handled without any of the worst possibilities coming to pass. I cannot even describe how relieved and grateful I am.

And you should rest VERY easy in the knowledge that Cajun food is wayyyyyyy better than pot pie.

I never thought about it that way Grieving...thanks for that insight ! I just asked my H if Cajun food is better than pot pie...and he emphatically said, "YES!" !

My Thankful Thursday post this week is filled with THANKS to things I can't really talk about on here !! IF I want to remain anonymous anyway . Life changes...promotions...vacations...all GOOD and THANKFUL things happening to me and my family and friends around me...just like a lot of people on here are experiencing...so I will leave it at that . As I was thinking about it though...it is stuff like this that make up LIFE...and that is something that we should ALL be THANKFUL for !!

The reason the MC of the couple who this thread is attributed to wanted them to go home and write about three things they were thankful for about each other...is because she wanted to have them think of something POSITIVE about each other instead of all of the negative that infidelity evokes. I totally AGREE with that sentiment .

Positive thinking is NOT rugsweeping. Anyone who has ever done that can attest to it!! Positive thinking is seeing something...well...POSITIVE in a certain situation . EVERY DAY we can find something positive happening in our life. EVERY DAY we can find something negative happening in our life. WE get to CHOOSE which thoughts we dwell on!! YES...we can !!

When we dwell on the positive...the thankfulness is sure to follow...and vice versa . They go hand in hand...and it is a pretty awesome feeling isn't it??!!

So TODAY...I am THANKFUL for all of the POSITIVES that have come into my LIFE this week !!

Well its been a few weeks since I've been thankful on Thursday. The air is cooler, things are going well with our Son and life is getting back to normal. This weekend is our Grandson's first birthday. I cannot believe its been a year, but he is such a precious addition to our family.

Hope everyone is well, there is plenty to be thankful for.

Happy THANKFUL THURSDAY everyone!!

Today I have a heavy heart with things I am seeing in the news . But despite this I am so very THANKFUL for the life I have now...with a very loving and giving H. His empathy is showing so much right now...he isn't afraid to show his feelings. This is something that is very revealing about how much his mindset has changed.

I hurt FOR him...which shows that my own mindset has changed back to the way it used to be. Healing can be a beautiful thing my friends...scars and all .

I have a FULL day on my plate today...so I will leave it at that. I hope that everyone has a GOOD day today...we ALL deserve GOOD days .

I hurt FOR him...which shows that my own mindset has changed back to the way it used to be.

t/j

As much as I hate infidelity and what she did, I do feel for my W, she is so proud of her family and M. She is a great Mother and Wife and it truly eats her up that she tainted the history of it. One of the main things we deal with after Dday is the loss of our spouse and M as we knew it. A remorseful WS suffers the same losses and it's hard to not have some empathy for them.

End t/j

I have so much to be grateful for. I have beautiful, healthy children. It’s a sunny fall day. I love my job and my team.
Infidelity really makes you question everything but if you dig deep, you can always find something to be grateful for. Daily gratitude and appreciating life around me has helped tremendously.

It’s been a while since I’ve posted on this thread and felt today was appropriate to make one.

I just passed the 7 year mark to the day I ended my A. I’m so grateful that I finally grew a conscious and walked away from the terrible decision to have an A.

I so grateful to be where I am today with my family intact and happy.

Happy Thursday, friends! I love these updates. Happy anniversary, ff4152. Tanner, I'm so glad your son is improving.

I'm grateful for beautiful weather, good friends, my mom, modern medicine, and so much more.

Hey Cuz this is my first post in October, Just wanted to say this thread is 3 years old this month. Wooo Hooo

Today I'm very thankful. The marriage is brutal. R, if that's even what we're doing, isn't going very smoothly. However, I had a long conversation with my estranged 19 year old son today. He's facing a bit of jail time, and has really struggled with drug abuse for a few years. It's been incredibly painful, and all while trying to deal with this daily infidelity hell. A few months back I took his car from him because it was still in my name and he would not pay the insurance or allow me to sign it over to him so it was his responsibility as a "grown man". He wanted the best of both worlds. He drives it and stays wherever and I handle all the insurance and taxes. So I took it until he was willing to go to DMV and sign it into his name and assume the responsibility for it. He said so many things then, one of which being that I "was a cuck little bitch whose wife cheated on him because she hates me just like my kids do..." that was one of the worst. But lots more raged venting at losing his car. Told me he'd beat my cuck ass if he wasn't worried I'd call the cops, etc etc. Really rough.

Today he admitted that he has no idea what he's doing in real life. He can't fix anything that breaks, he doesn't do well in real life. He asked if I'd be willing to teach him how to fix things around a house and on cars like i tried when he was younger. He told me that although he didn't agree with everything I did raising him, that I was an unbelievable provider that he took for granted, and he wants to be able to be like me for his family one day, and he needs to learn to be a man. It just led to a wonderful conversation and hopefully the reestablishing of our relationship as two adults. So I'm really hopeful and thankful, and it has seemed so incredibly hopeless with him that I needed this reminder that nothing is permanent. Things change. They get better and worse. But the lowest points are not the final points necessarily.

Oooooo...so many posts last week...ALL of them so NICE !! Dang Coozann...I had no idea this thread has been here for 3 years...thanks for pointing that out !!

My H is so SICK right now...upper respiratory infection...negative for Covid. He keeps thanking me for taking care of him. He doesn't HAVE to do that...I am happy to do what I can to make him as comfortable as possible. But just him acknowledging this means so much to HIM...and it makes me happy to know it makes him feel better.

I think that is what I am so THANKFUL for today...how much we have changed since the day our world as we knew it ended. I remember thinking at that time how I WISHED things could go back to the way they were BEFORE. I had NO IDEA just how HAPPY I am that they didn't!!

Would we have ever done the work we have done without having infidelity in our M story? I don't know. Although I will NEVER be thankful that the A happened...and I will NEVER say that the A is what caused us to be where we are now...I will admit that the A DESTROYED the M that we had. We were left in the rubble...and we could either walk away (D)...or try to rebuild (R). THIS was our reality...THIS was what we had to deal with. It seems like it was easy...NOW. But it has been NINE YEARS of HARD work to get where we are now. Some people don't take as long...some take longer.

I have to give credit to my H for the work HE did . He proved to me that he was ALL IN way before I was ready to take that leap. Neither of us went to counseling...but we both found the counseling we needed...from doing a Daily Bible Study. My H pored over his Bible...joined online Christian men's groups...and learned what it meant to be the husband I deserved. Man...did he ever learn that !!

I also learned MY strength! I used to accept everything my H did...because...as we all know...I couldn't change HIM...I could only change ME. I still know this...BUT...even though I can't change HIM...I DO NOT have to accept everything he does. I don't settle anymore. That doesn't mean I don't compromise. That was another thing I had to learn !

It was all awkward...bungling...and jumbled at first. We never gave up though . Sometimes we had to back up and start over on some paths...but we did it together. I must say that as we walked through the minefields it was EXHAUSTING. But over time it got much easier . We have far more HAPPY days now than we do SAD...Thank You God ! It was very much WORTH IT!!!

So TODAY...I am THANKFUL that we are where we are NOW. I know y'all have read this from me before...but it is still worth saying...NOW is what COUNTS !!!

Happy Thankful Thursday Everyone !!

My Thankful Thursday thought for TODAY actually happened last night !! When I was taking my shower...my H came in to tell me how lovely my singing was...and to tell me how much he LOVED me . I had done something similar a few minutes earlier when HE was in the shower .

After he left I was thinking about this nightly ritual. It started a few months after Dday...when my H would come and check on me while I was in the shower...to make sure everything was alright. One night I started checking on him too...and it has become a habit for us...a sweet connection just between us .

This is one of several things that we do regularly to show how much we CARE about the other one . Last week when my H was really sick...I asked him to do me a favor and NOT get up to come to the bathroom while I was taking a shower. This was another way of CARING...and he appreciated me for thinking of him like that .

GIVING to each other has done so much in helping us regain that beautiful connection we once had too! It doesn't mean pricey gifts...extravagant restaurants...or any kind of thing that involves money...but that is NICE too !! We just know that we can't be SELFISH and be GIVING or CARING as well. We both had to work on that selfishness part...and what worked was the simple act of caring which brought about us being giving . It means more than I could ever express...and that is why I am so THANKFUL today !!!

Nice to read some thankful updates in one of the best running threads here in the forum.

My own thankful Thursday is looking pretty good. Our eldest son and daughter in law just informed us they will be able to travel home from a couple states away for Thanksgiving. It will be the first time we have had the whole micro family together in over ten months.

I think these family upcoming family gatherings are why we worked so hard to rebuild this M.

I hope everyone is doing as well as possible, I will always be grateful for this place that helped so much.

Well, this week I am very thankful that 45 years ago I followed my gut and believed in all of the positive work my W had done following infidelity, and I decided to give R a chance. This week we celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary. Many friends and relatives did not believe we would make a year. We most assuredly almost ended in year five. Glad I stuck it out. She never wavered in her commitment and neither did I. It took tons of work but it is worth it.

Five years ago I wrote this blurb about our first date:

"Reconciliation : 45th Wedding Anniversary and Happy: The Prom Queen and The Nerd. I thought I should post a positive note about our upcoming 45th Wedding Anniversary and almost 40 years since my fWW’s infidelity. We were a highly unlikely couple. On our first date I picked her up at her dorm still somewhat stunned that this popular young woman agreed to a date with a guy like me. She looked amazing. As we walked to the street she looked perplexed. Her: Where did you park your car? Me: Eh, I don’t own a car. We’re hitchhiking! Her: Shit!"

HAPPY Thankful Thursday everyone !!

It is a beautiful crisp fall day over here...no humidity around...very refreshing !

Although the whole world seems to be turned upside down right now...MY world is humming along very nicely. This seemed to be the opposite not that long ago. I am at PEACE...which seemed to be something that I never thought I would get back. Then again...there were so MANY things I thought I had lost forever that turned out to be not lost...they were just under a HUGE pile of poop that my H dumped on me when he had his A.

Like someone's tagline on here says...the poop can be cleaned off . It takes a lot of work in a very STINKY environment...but it does NOT have to remain a part of life...IF the work is done to get rid of it. I have to say that it is very much WORTH it to clean it all up !! I didn't do that when I went for D with my 1st H. Years later...when this happened to me AGAIN...I learned how to use the tools I needed to clean up everything. For the first time in a LONG time I was finally poop free...AHHHHHH!!!

So TODAY...I am very THANKFUL to so MANY people on here...and most importantly...to God...for teaching me what to do if I am ever put in this situation again . Knowledge is POWER...and this power gives me HOPE...and more importantly...PEACE .

Good Morning Everyone!!

Well heck...there weren't ANY Thankful Thursday posts last week or this week. I know...people are gearing up for the holidays...and some are thinking about the holidays BEFORE their Dday...and it doesn't seem to have stuff to be very thankful for. But still...there is ALWAYS something to be thankful for .

This is a hard time for me. My precious sister passed away . We knew it was terminal...but she LIVED life until the day she died. That brings me comfort thinking of the last time we were together. I am so very THANKFUL for having her as my sister. I just don't know how to go on without her in my life . I will...we all do. But it still HURTS .

I have started seeing signs...or Godwinks...that help me to see she still lives on. Some people may call these coincidences. But for these signs to happen when they do...at exactly the TIME I need them to...I KNOW it is more than just a coincidence. This is something else I am very THANKFUL for . My sister was a very faith filled person...and my gosh...that faith was rock SOLID!! She is in a much better place...and apparently it is quite beautiful from what I have been shown .

One GLORIOUS day everything will be AMAZING. I KNOW this. My heart and head are in agreement with this. But for now...it is time for me to grieve another loss of a loved one . I can't even remember how many I have personally lost this year. This loss is the most painful. But it will be less painful as time goes on.

I LOVE YOU my DEAR sister!! I MISS YOU more than words can express. I am so THANKFUL to be your sister...and I will take care of your children as you would have done for mine. Have FUN with Mom and Dad!!!

Oh, W2BHA, I'm so very sorry. Big, big hugs.

I lost my sister 14 years ago, and I know that she sends me signs, too. My dad died almost exactly a year after she did, and when I left the hospice center in the early morning right after he passed, "Trashy Women" immediately came on the radio. She and I shared an appreciation for cheesy country, and years earlier I told her that the song made me think of her. I meant for the cheesiness factor, but she feigned offense at the title. When Dad died, it wasn't popular and I hadn't heard it on the radio for years, but there it was, in all its glory, at 6am. I blasted it as I drove into the sunrise and cried and thanked her. I think she was letting me know Dad was with her.

Over the years, there have been a lot more signs. 11:11, white feathers appear in strange places in times of need, etc. Just a couple of months ago, we took our travel trailer to Port Aransas and camped on the beach. Port A was one of her favorite places and some of her ashes are scattered there. Before we left, H and I were searching high and low for the camper title so that we could get the registration squared away. We couldn't find it anywhere so we decided that we'd handle it when we got home. After we got all set up on the beach, my daughter saw something blowing by and grabbed it. And the way that it was blowing was weird, not at all the usual beach pattern, which would be IN from the shoreline. She was about to throw it away, then saw the telltale markings of a title. She brought it over to me and was like WTH is this? It was the title. I KNOW my sister did that.

So yeah, your sister is still there. Her energy is still with you.

I'm very thankful this week that my H is having a BIG epiphany about how his behavior when our first daughter was born likely shaped the whole relationship. This is HUGE. I told him that I felt like I've been screaming into the void for 35 years about that particular topic, and he said, "You probably were." I think this is the last big piece of our recovery puzzle, and I'm very excited to see how it all comes together.

I'm also thankful for this time of year. The time between Halloween and Christmas is so fun and cozy, and Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.

I'm grateful for my friends, my beautiful family, a cozy home, enough to eat, our health, and the excitement of growth and change.

Love to you, WTBHA.