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Newest Member: Crushedafter46years

Reconciliation :
Thankful Thursday

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Hannah47 ( member #80116) posted at 12:12 PM on Thursday, October 6th, 2022

I'm thankful that I've finally managed to incorporate classic push-ups into my workout routine.

A little background: I’ve been strength training for quite some time now. Around 3 months ago, I’ve changed my routine, and decided to incorporate push-ups, as that’s something I’ve always wanted to do. I couldn’t do a single one laugh So, instead I’ve started to build up strength with easier variants of push-ups, such as kneeling ones. Yesterday I’ve finally managed to do 3 sets of classic push-ups. Small reps, though, but that’s something I’m gonna improve in the following months.

And, also, I’m still thankful for the music – it really helps to do my best during exercise.

[This message edited by Hannah47 at 12:16 PM, Thursday, October 6th]

posts: 134   ·   registered: Mar. 21st, 2022
id 8758401
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Tanner ( member #72235) posted at 3:53 PM on Thursday, October 6th, 2022

We are on grand baby watch!!! Could be today, our daughter has a 12 Dr appointment. He said come prepared to head to L&D. It will be our 3rd grand child but first grand son.

Great job Hannah. Fitness is a journey and so therapeutic and yes music is a must.

My W is a trainer with a heart and focus on women that have given up or feel too far gone. Several weeks ago a lady told her "I can’t even lift an empty bar. She told her to use a PVC pipe to practice form and train that muscle group. Then work up from there. The lady was blown away by that but now is lifting that bar, with a small weight on it. It was a great victory and the reason my W knew to recommend it was that’s how she started her own fitness journey.

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH M 31 years

posts: 2007   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8758427
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster member #45088) posted at 6:51 PM on Thursday, October 6th, 2022

What GREAT "Thankful Thursday" posts so far grin !!

Hannah47...how AWESOME for you to get to do more in your plan!!! What a VICTORY grin !!!

Tanner...YAY on grandbaby watch grin !!! We have grandsons and granddaughters too...and they are all a wonderful GIFT from God grin !!

I actually FORGOT the joke that I was going to write for this week's post that I am thankful for rolleyes . I'm OLD...so I have an excuse for that laugh !!! What I DO remember is that I was putting dishes in the dishwasher...and my H told me something that reminded me of the A...and I joked about it...and we LAUGHED laugh . I would have NEVER thought I could joke and laugh about ANYTHING concerning his A...but I actually have done it several times laugh . It is something that happened...but it does NOT control our lives anymore. Laughter is the BEST medicine...and I am so THANKFUL that we are able to joke...TOGETHER...about anything...and LAUGH grin !!

I OWN that trigger now too...even if I can't remember it laugh !!!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6324   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8758451
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Tanner ( member #72235) posted at 9:11 PM on Thursday, October 6th, 2022

Aw Cuz I used to joke about infidelity with my W, before it actually happened. It was funny because it was absurd that either of us would ever cheat.

I have a great sense of humor and that was lost for some time after Dday. One day we were cleaning out our master closet and we there was a man’s shirt hanging up neither of us recognized. So I said "some dude probably left it here". She immediately got a hurt look and I started laughing. I said "do you realize I made that joke and didn’t even think about it? After she realized it wasn’t a cheap shot, we had a good laugh and it showed where my healing was.

I was looking at my early posts here in Thankful Thursday. I found where I told a story about a non trigger joke about 2 years ago.

So this morning we are laying in bed together, my W will just blurt out a random thought.
I heard her say "I’ve been looking for a cock, but haven’t found the right one". WTAF??? When I figured out that she was looking at the wall and I had asked her to be on the lookout for a wall clock.

Yes looking for the right clock laugh

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH M 31 years

posts: 2007   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8758466
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster member #45088) posted at 3:50 PM on Friday, October 7th, 2022

I remember that story very well Tanner laugh !! What is that saying...when you are a hammer...everything looks like a nail?? Or something like that.

I NEVER thought I would be back to being HAPPY...NEVER. EVERYTHING around me was A related...and it just kept me DOWN for so long. THANK GOD that this isn't the case anymore smile . LIFE is GOOD again...and I am so very THANKFUL for that grin !!!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6324   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8758599
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Tanner ( member #72235) posted at 5:06 PM on Thursday, October 13th, 2022

Today I’m especially thankful for my new Grandson. He was born yesterday evening and very healthy. I get to go meet him this afternoon and help him go home from the hospital. It don’t get any sweeter than that.

[This message edited by Tanner at 5:06 PM, Thursday, October 13th]

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH M 31 years

posts: 2007   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8759386
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Hannah47 ( member #80116) posted at 6:38 PM on Thursday, October 13th, 2022

Congratulations, Tanner!

I have some cheap thrills to post about (or not so cheap, if you ask my husband grin ).
I bought beautiful Moschino sandals at a 60% discount! Yes, yes, I know, people say money can’t buy happiness. However, perhaps those people just don’t know where to shop?!!
And since I’m thankful for the music – how about Madonna: Material Girl grin

posts: 134   ·   registered: Mar. 21st, 2022
id 8759394
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MIgander ( member #71285) posted at 9:24 PM on Thursday, October 13th, 2022

Congratulations Tanner!!!!

Today I am thankful that there are many ENT docs to choose from and lots of less invasive things that are possible for me to finally fix my ear canal (the one that never drains and has caused 2 perforations and minor hearing loss on one side...). Finally got sick enough and fed up enough to take it seriously and found a lot of good things that can be done for me. Feeling very grateful that I'm living in a time with the technology and that I have the resources to pursue healing.

WW/BW Dday July 2019. BH/WH- multiple EA's. Back at it again- bantering w the younger woman. Lied about blocking phone calls and deleted texts. Carried on with her. Financial infidelity again- who says you only cheat with lovers?

posts: 895   ·   registered: Aug. 15th, 2019   ·   location: Michigan
id 8759410
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Tanner ( member #72235) posted at 12:33 AM on Friday, October 14th, 2022

Hannah my W and I are big music fans. When we get a chance to go out we like to support tribute bands. The Dallas area has very talented musicians and they take their tributes very seriously. My W talked me into going and seeing a Madonna tribute, Madonna? Not my thing. After a couple drinks I’m front and center singing along and had a blast!!! The lady looked and sounded spot on. She also changed throughout the show as Madonna progressed in her career. I have mad respect for how hard the tribute bands work.

PSA: go support your local music.

MIgander ear issues suck!!! My hearing gets progressively worse without me realizing it. About once a year my W has to flush them, and it’s incredible how loud everything is after a good flush.

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH M 31 years

posts: 2007   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8759435
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Ladybugmaam ( member #69881) posted at 1:07 AM on Friday, October 14th, 2022

Had a terrible work day....didn't implode. That's a win, given the day
Triggers are there, but we're getting incrementally better at managing. Didn't know I had PTSD before the affair from, IDK, LIFE. Grateful that I'm learning what's going on and learning to manage. Might not always get that right, but it is explaining ALOT.
Had a wonderful bath. Baked some amazing bread.
Our freshman son is home for fall break....:)
Doing a half marathon this weekend....and seriously looking forward to getting back in the swing of things. First race post summer covid. I've sunk myself into triathlons post A and am addicted and missed it. Looking forward to 2023 racing. Will be doing my first full Ironman after 9 half Ironmans.
FWH/DH (dare I say dear husband?) Is planning epic adventures. We have a list of dream travels on our fridge, and he's booking flights.
It was a shit day, ....but no one is packing bags except to imagine fun trips.

EA DD 11/2018
PA DD 2/25/19
One teen son
I am a phoenix.

posts: 300   ·   registered: Feb. 26th, 2019
id 8759440
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Hannah47 ( member #80116) posted at 2:28 AM on Friday, October 14th, 2022

PSA: go support your local music.

Guess who has tickets for an AC/DC tribute in a few weeks grin

posts: 134   ·   registered: Mar. 21st, 2022
id 8759448
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster member #45088) posted at 2:43 AM on Friday, October 14th, 2022

Thanks everyone for your awesome posts!!!

We have been on the road today...so it was nice to open up the Forums and see THIS thread!

I am so THANKFUL that we made it to our destination safely. We already met some family members...and will be seeing more before we leave!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6324   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8759451
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Tanner ( member #72235) posted at 3:45 AM on Friday, October 14th, 2022

Guess who has tickets for an AC/DC tribute in a few weeks grin

OMG is it Back in Black?

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH M 31 years

posts: 2007   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8759456
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This0is0Fine ( member #72277) posted at 4:56 AM on Friday, October 14th, 2022

There's an all girls one around here. Hell's Belles.

I'm thankful my restoration job on an old car is almost done.

Way over budget, but it was never a wise financial decision.

Love is not a measure of capacity for pain you are willing to endure for your partner.

posts: 2173   ·   registered: Dec. 11th, 2019
id 8759463
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster member #45088) posted at 5:01 PM on Thursday, October 20th, 2022

Another THANKFUL THURSDAY...woohoo grin !!

We are back home now...and it truly feels so GOOD to call this place HOME again smile . I was at this house when my H was having his A overseas. I was at this house when he confessed to his A. I was at this house when I had most of the mental breakdowns that made me want to end my life just so I could get away from this PAIN crying .

Almost a year to the day that my world as I knew it ended...we started traveling a LOT more for my H's work. I thought this would ease things a little...but during these travels we had to stay in hotel rooms. Since most of my H's A happened in his hotel room...being in hotel rooms was a HUGE trigger for me crying . I couldn't be comfortable ANYWHERE sad .

Little by little I started to heal...and saw that this house wasn't so bad after all smile . We had so MANY great memories here from before the time of his A smile . We were starting to make new GOOD memories here too...that would combat the BAD memories during and after the time of his A. TIME does heal things...but it is because of what has been DONE during that time that helps in the healing process...for ME anyway.

For TODAY...I am THANKFUL for my HOME smile .

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6324   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8760391
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Tanner ( member #72235) posted at 4:45 AM on Friday, October 21st, 2022

It’s late but I made it!!! It’s been extremely busy around the Tanner house. My W has been doing well in her business. She has had a very positive attitude and today she was glowing. My W can really be hard on herself and have a negative self talk. She has really worked hard on it and her confidence is so improved and her insecurities no longer run her. If anything positive can come out of this mess, it’s our self improvement. It’s funny how God shows us things. I used the word glowing and then she shared this quote before I ever said it to her.

You glow differently when your confidence is fueled by belief in yourself instead of validation from others

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH M 31 years

posts: 2007   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8761395
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Hannah47 ( member #80116) posted at 6:40 PM on Friday, October 21st, 2022

I know it's Friday, but I’m having a hard week and got sad yesterday because I couldn’t think of a single thing I’m thankful for. Then I read the post by Want2BHappyAgain and it reminded me that I’ve never really had a place that’s my HOME. While I was living with my parents, we moved several times, and none of those places were truly my home – just a place where I’m currently living. Then during adult life I had four more "places where I’m currently living". There have been some developments recently which made it likely that there will be a 5th place soon. However, those developments also brought hope that this time it might be different, that I might actually get my HOME. Nevertheless, considering things that made my week hard, I realize that the dream of having a home is crumbling in front of my eyes. I realize I might never have a chance to be thankful for my home. And that is fine, there’s always music. And there’s a song called "Home is where the heart is". Currently, my heart is not in a good place. However, I’m confident it will heal and one day we will have a home. So, today I’m thankful for having a heart, having dreams, and I’m thankful for who I am. I wouldn’t want it any other way.

posts: 134   ·   registered: Mar. 21st, 2022
id 8761576
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster member #45088) posted at 4:04 PM on Thursday, October 27th, 2022

Tanner...I am a FIRM believer that everything happens for a reason...and WOW...what an awesome sign God gave you there Coozann grin !! He's showing y'all that THIS path y'all are on is the one that is MEANT for y'all to be on. Very cool!!

Hannah47...I LOVE how you were able to change your perspective toward being a POSITIVE one grin . This type of attitude will HELP you in ways you may not even be aware of smile .

My H and I have a few routines...or rituals maybe...that we now incorporate before starting our day. One of them is getting at least 4 hugs in smile . I read somewhere once that a person who gets at least 4 hugs a day will thrive in their life. That's pretty cool...and I surely get the psychology behind that...so we get our serotonin FIX in early in the day grin .

Another thing we do...while hugging...is say something about the other person that we are thankful for smile . I often tell my H that I am so THANKFUL that he stayed. He then quickly answers back that he is so THANKFUL that I let him smile . We both know that we could have chosen different paths on Dday. Heck...I actually DID choose a different path at first when I told my H that our M was over right after he confessed. But then I changed my mind grin . HE could have continued on the D path that I put him on...but he changed his mind too!! We are both so HAPPY that THIS path is the one we have each CHOSEN to be on smile .

This morning the routine went a little differently. While we were hugging...my H told me how thankful he was that I let him stay smile . It surprised me...because that isn't how the routine is supposed to go laugh . But you know...I kind of LIKED it. Actually...I LOVED it smile . We tend to get in a rut with routines...and it can lead to complacency. Having my H say this first...disrupted that rut. It reminded me of WHY we hug...WHY we say thankful things to each other...and WHY we are still together. It isn't because we HAVE to be. It isn't because we NEED to be. It is because we CHOSE to be smile . I am so THANKFUL for that CHOICE that we made...TOGETHER grin !

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6324   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8762390
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MIgander ( member #71285) posted at 4:29 PM on Thursday, October 27th, 2022

I'm thankful for a good friend, an hour at the dog park, a chocolate croissant, having time to make myself feel pretty after a rough day yesterday. Super grateful for a pooch who is exhausted on the floor behind me as I type on a sunny day/

WW/BW Dday July 2019. BH/WH- multiple EA's. Back at it again- bantering w the younger woman. Lied about blocking phone calls and deleted texts. Carried on with her. Financial infidelity again- who says you only cheat with lovers?

posts: 895   ·   registered: Aug. 15th, 2019   ·   location: Michigan
id 8762396
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Hannah47 ( member #80116) posted at 6:20 PM on Thursday, October 27th, 2022

I've never thought I'm gonna say this, but I'm thankful that I don’t have a job at the moment (and I don’t have to find one soon). Things are really hard now, and I’m thankful I don’t have to deal with the "life" stuff. No bosses, no deadlines, no working hours, no work stress, no pressure to be efficient when all you want is to stay in bed and cry… I don’t want that all the time, but I’m thankful I can focus on myself during these hard days/weeks. I realize that is a privilege many BSs don’t have. I’m thankful I can think about stuff as much as I want to, and cry if I feel like crying. I can sleep in if I want to, I have time to do my daily workout, to pamper myself, read, play games, listen to music… Speaking about music, there’s a song "Little Acorns" by The White Stripes. The song itself is not so good imho, but it has a fantastic intro monologue by Mort Crim, that I’d like to share with you:

When problems overwhelm us and sadness smothers us, where do we find the will and the courage to continue? Well the answer may come in the caring voice of a friend, a chance encounter with a book, or from a personal faith. For Janet, help came from her faith, but it also came from a squirrel. Shortly after her divorce, Janet lost her father then she lost her job, she had mounting money problems. But Janet not only survived, she worked her way out of despondency and now she says, life is good again. How could this happen? She told me that late one autumn day when she was at her lowest she watched a squirrel storing up nuts for the winter, one at a time he would take them to the nest. And she thought, if that squirrel can take care of himself with a harsh winter coming on, so can I. Once I broke my problems into small pieces, I was able to carry them, just like those acorns, one at a time.

posts: 134   ·   registered: Mar. 21st, 2022
id 8762414
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