When I first read your title, I thought that sounds a lot like how my situation was with my now deceased (6 months as of the 15th) WH. Our stories are VERY similar; police officer, his mom died, FOO issues, severe alcoholic, other women, low self esteem, needed lots of ego stroking and the list probably goes on.
I agree with Rockeaters comment, your WH needs to quit the alcohol first before you can even consider moving forward. And also agree that alcohol destroys lives and families. Alcohol definitely had a part in the destruction of my deceased WH death, at least indirectly. It's really sad.
My thoughts are that there is more going on with your husband than you may be aware of. Sadly. I wasn't able to figure this part out with mine until after his death. And once he passed away, everything came to the light. I was able to see clearly.
My suggestion, insist that in order to consider "anything" he first needs to quit drinking, period! No more, no exceptions. I also want to suggest that he attends AA but the problem is that police officers don't like to mix with the general population because you never know who might show up at those meetings, so that possibility might be out. But on the other hand, there are police sponsored AA meetings he can look into. My husband took the CR (Celebrate Recovery) route, he felt it was a little safer path to follow. This is the first step. Yes, and lots of IC to figure out those deep dark thoughts that that are seeming to guide him.
OMG, did he lose his job for sure?? I thought that he was on administrative leave? I guess they will need to determine whether he is a good candidate on whether they will allow him back into the department, I'm assuming? I'm surprised they let him go because of that reason. Are you sure that there wasn't something else? Honestly, I would try to find out if there is more to the story and not from your husband. Please don't trust your husband... remember, he is not a reliable source anymore. He blew this up a long time ago. Watch your back.
I believe cops can be extremely manipulative. I was married to one for a very long time. Gotta watch out on this one. I am only suggesting this but your WH will want to use you as a cover up but you already said this and I'm agreeing with you.
I also believe that he is in survivors mode. It's very important you get strong in yourself. Alanon is one part that started to wake me up. I believe that your WH is going to say anything to convince you that he is a changed man. That is such a lie because change takes a long time and he hasn't even begun to do the work. OMG, 30 women!
Your WH has work to do to get to the bottom of his why's. My deceased WH white knuckled everything until he saw that I was beginning to relax (never ever fully trusted him again though) and then he was right back to doing what he did best, drinking, lieing, manipulating, other women. I also believe my WH had narsitictic tendencies. Took me a while to see that one though, I was so blind.
Watch out, not sure about that truck driver career. Funny how my WH wanted to be a truck driver too!
Keep posting here and seeking advice but don't let him know about this site. Keep it to yourself.