SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Vonbock,

I don't care about anything. Hurricane coming in and its almost like I don't even care.

Yes, for quite some time and especially when things were fresh. I handled it incorrectly, but when I started implementing the following, I started to gain traction:

Take the smallest actionable thing that will help you right now, the easiest... Do it! Repeat with the next smallest actionable thing.

[This message edited by DictumVeritas at 7:33 AM, August 27th (Thursday)]

Thanks you all. She has moved on , no remorse over divorce. Just exercising trying to make her look pretty and getting in shape. Acting like she hates mw with all her guts. Not because of the relationship but more busted her scheme to cheat me.

Did everyone who got cheated on feel this way too. I feel so numb and sad, I don't care about anything. Hurricane coming in and its almost like I don't even care.

Totally normal, Von. You're in shell shock. That's why it's best to take action when your mind is still kind of numb. Because when the shock wears off the downward slide is even more intense.

She has moved on , no remorse over divorce. Just exercising trying to make her look pretty and getting in shape. Acting like she hates mw with all her guts. Not because of the relationship but more busted her scheme to cheat me.

As much as this hurts, it's best to focus on moving on too. She doesn't deserve a decent guy like you. Trust me, there's a dark hole deep in her core, and she knows it. She just projects that nastiness on to you.

All the bad stuff she says about you she feels about herself. Textbook malignant narcissism.

Has she been served yet?

.

[This message edited by Vonbock at 9:20 PM, March 11th (Thursday)]

She just came in and said why do we need lawyer. Do I want her assets? Why can't we make it you keep yous, i keep mine.

Then she said whoever told you to cancel the credit was wrong. That was illegal. She can sue for.me that. But she respects me, she won't sue me.

She then said she respects right now but if we go through lawyer, then she won't respect me after that. I wanted to shoot back,

Aren't you the one that called me the stupidest guy in the world in front of the 5 y.o

Now she is saying mommy.called daddy stupid.

Do not even think about not having a lawyer. I would not be surprised if she is hiding assets and money and is scared that this will come out in discovery. KEEP your lawyer, let him handle the divorce.

I would personally ask my lawyer about perhaps engaging the services of a forensic accountant were I you.

I don't know about your PI though, has he done an investigation into her electronic activities yet? These days you don't really have to catch a cheater in the act, the cyber trail left by a cheater is usually easily uncovered and can be enough to prove infidelity.

[This message edited by DictumVeritas at 1:10 AM, August 28th (Friday)]

Dictum is right.

Phone records are pretty much always the smoking gun. Text messages, bank records, credit card statements, etc.

She is clearly still fishing and/or trying to get you to flinch.

The truth is on her phone. Just ask her for her phone. Tell her if she's being honest then there's nothing for her worry about. But we all know what her reaction is going to be.

[This message edited by Vonbock at 9:21 PM, March 11th (Thursday)]

She must be getting desperate if she is calling mutal frineds to call me to not use lawyer.

She's becoming more and more manipulative and it reeks of desperation. Stick to the advice you've been given.

PS. They say divorces are so expensive because they are worth it.

[This message edited by Sceadugenga at 11:54 AM, August 28th (Friday)]

She must be getting desperate if she is calling mutal frineds to call me to not use lawyer.

She certainly is! I’d bet dollars to donuts that she is hiding a lot she’s afraid of being discovered.

Vonbock,

Do this by the numbers, using professionals (lawyer, PI and possibly forensic accountant) and with zero trust in anything she says or does.

Be careful, if she really get's desperate, she might start love-bombing you and try to use the magic-vagina to change your mind.

Don't fall for it, it is dangerous territory.

Wayward wives are notorious for filing false domestic violence charges when they feel their BH is out of their control.

You need to keep that VAR on you all the time. Including sleep,and the shower. Better yet, get a camera on you all the time.

We had a BH who was arrested for false domestic violence. He was sitting on his couch hadn't even spoken to her. The doorbell rang,and she came flying down the stairs, hair messed up, mascara streaked down her face. Their were police officers at the door,and she started crying when she opened the door,saying he had been pushing her around. He was arrested.

The way she is acting you are a sitting duck.

Can i use the magic vagina 1 time but still keep my distance

Can i use the magic vagina 1 time but still keep my distance

Nope. Keep away from her and don't ask for more trouble than you already have. I can easily imagine her charging you with sexual assault and using the physical marks of the intercourse as evidence.

You are right. Think worse case scenario.

Whats funny was she was probably planning this for a year. She thought I was stupid and would follow everything into the trap. Now it is all unraveling in a few weekss for her. She is ticked.

I would love to see if OM stays with her if once I am gone, He sees the true her.

I would love to see if OM stays with her if once I am gone, He sees the true her.

Not immediately - remember how many years of dating/marriage it took you to realise who she truly is. Now he's probably looking at her through rose-tinted glasses and being fed some "poor victim" rubbish for good measure. At any rate, 180 is all about detachment, so you needn't concern yourself with it.

[This message edited by Sceadugenga at 1:40 PM, August 28th (Friday)]

[This message edited by Vonbock at 9:22 PM, March 11th (Thursday)]

Whatever state you are in has a formula for the asset division. Whatever assets and income you made or accumulated while you were married typically gets split 50/50. So, yes, you would be entitled to half of whatever profits she made from her business and she would be entitled to half of whatever income, savings, and/or retirement accounts while you were married.

Same also goes for debt. This is what she may be hiding. If she's sitting on a big chunk of credit card debt or small business loans, you'd be on the hook for half. And vice versa. Essentially it's all conjugal assets minus debts, split 50/50.

I don't see how you would not be asked to pay child support. Unless they are her kids from another marriage. Even in cases of adultery I don't see the court simply excusing one spouse (typically the father) from paying child support. The judicial system is just biased that way.

Child custody is usually more open to negotiation depending on how fit one parent is over the other.

That's a fair and equitable divorce settlement. Now, when she starts to get nasty and asking for the moon is when the process goes sideways.

Consult your attorney.

No child support(she has to work to pay the bills otherwise she goes on her affairs.)

Maybe you're talking about alimony (spousal support)? Now, that you could negotiate out of MAYBE if you cited adultery.

If you're in a no-fault state it might not make a difference. Depends on the judge.

Do you make more than her?