Hello, guess that is what one would say on a format such as this. I have not posted much on forums, well in fact never would be more accurate. If I break any rules or insult someone please know it not intentional. I am here looking for your help not to hurt anyone.
I am a BH and do appreciate the source of information on this site. Frankly after years of searching I can confirm not much exist to help betrayed husbands. In saying that I don't mean to take away from the resources offered to BW, it just different being a man in some areas. I can only image the pain is the very similar, I guess it does not matter what type of fire it was that burned you, your still burnt.
We have had years of IC, MC, etc. mainly on WW side of things, most of which she flat out lied through.
I have a somewhat technical question for waywards or it could also apply to betrayeds.
Before I get to the question some background may narrow the range of answers or at least make the question easier to process.
I caught my wife in an affair 22 years ago. She said it did not include intercourse or oral, etc. It was short in time frame, 3 months or so, according her and only 3 sexual attempts. (two interrupted)
She has showed no sign of cheating since.
Then just 4 years ago she confessed that there was more sexual activity but still no intercourse or oral, etc because AP could not get an erection. Regardless of my wives attempts. (both naked, plenty of time, no alcohol, both willing, etc)
Now, 3 plus years of TT. IC and MC counselling, etc. things are better because as you can image for all those years the lie she held actually held our marriage captive to deceit, withdrawal, lack of closeness and the all the favors betrayal brings to a relationship.
I am leaving 99% if details out of this post, as I could full pages that mean nothing more than pain to me and I am sure you have heard similar.
WW claims the lie was to protect our marriage.
Yes, I have forgiven, forgetting is not possible. (triggers are real, they can rob you of life)
I have confronted the AP both lately and years ago. He confirms her story and I am good at integrations. But regardless of my skills his creditably and my wives' are in question. He did mention that he did not have protection and was concerned about that. But their excursions were planned events.
This question has to do with her creditably, because if this is her story it seems pretty weak. I too, am a man and my wife is beautiful woman, now and then. But after 22 plus years of lying, deigning, then TT for years trust is hard. This 'lie' she kept tortured her and our marriage for years.
Ok, thank for your patience. I hope this not too detailed. I have had to withhold lots of adjectives to keeps emotions in check.
Have any of you, ever heard of any man that was willing to cheat on his family, not be able to get an erection while perusing AP?