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WarehouseGuy (original poster member #6037) posted at 12:43 AM on Tuesday, October 22nd, 2019
I may be looking at this before long and not really sure how to take it. How do you get around the emotional stuff?
whg 
If you see your ex with someone else don't be jealous. Our parents taught us to give our old,used toys to the less fortunate.
WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 1:21 AM on Tuesday, October 22nd, 2019
That's a tough one for me. Physical touch and words of affirmation nearly tie as my top love languages (words of affirmation edges out touch)
I was able to do FWB in college, a lifetime ago.
I don't know if I could do it now...
From what I hear, it doesn't work out often. Someone always catches feelings. Are you open to that?
I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural
ibonnie ( member #62673) posted at 2:07 AM on Tuesday, October 22nd, 2019
Keep it light -- hit it and quit it. Don't snuggle, avoid one on one dates. Hang out in group settings, have sex, enjoy it, and then be out.
"I will survive, hey, hey!"
Williesmom ( member #22870) posted at 2:25 AM on Tuesday, October 22nd, 2019
It worked for me for several years. Luckily, no one ever caught feelings. 
My advice: be open and honest with each other. Don't go out socially- that would be like a date.
Clearly communicate your expectations right from the start.
[This message edited by Williesmom at 9:38 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)]
You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright
DevastatedDee ( member #59873) posted at 1:23 PM on Tuesday, October 22nd, 2019
What worked for me was picking someone for that whom I would never want to date in a million years. Someone hot, but completely incompatible for a life together.
DDay: 06/07/2017
MH - RA on DDay.
Divorced a serial cheater (prostitutes and lord only knows who and what else).
MamaDragon ( member #63791) posted at 2:23 PM on Tuesday, October 22nd, 2019
I have had them in the past (between marriages). It was always someone I was friends with so there was trust, and while they are attractive physically they were not my "type" so to speak. So I was safe from any emotions merging in.
Luckily for me, the guys were able to keep feelings out of it too.
Just be sure you are mentally & emotionally ready for sex = my first time with someone other than my XH, I cried. Thankfully the guy I was with is a very dear friend and he knew what to do to help me over it.
BS - 40 something at A time, over 50 now
WS - him, younger than me
Reconciled
jadedangel ( member #26979) posted at 3:47 PM on Tuesday, October 22nd, 2019
I think communication would be key to FWB. Be upfront on what you are looking for and having boundaries. Like what has been suggested already, no one on one dates. Nothing romantic at all.
Divorced 2007.
EXWH died 2011
Remarried 2018!
JanaGreen ( member #29341) posted at 5:38 PM on Wednesday, October 23rd, 2019
Idk. I tried to do that and he's been my boyfriend for a year now.
I guess my advice is - sometimes you accidentally catch feelings.
Maudlin ( member #70107) posted at 6:13 PM on Wednesday, October 23rd, 2019
What worked for me was picking someone for that whom I would never want to date in a million years. Someone hot, but completely incompatible for a life together.
******
Me too. The first time I tried it, we were very compatible emotionally and it did not work, I had to stop it and keep us just friends.
Currently there is an absolute sculpture of a man who is in no way someone I’d ever date in a million years. I mean he is a decent guy, very focused on his kids who live with his ex and will be with him from next spring, but totally not someone I could ever fall for. And same for me, my liberal hippy ass is not for him. But man is it fun to have a fulfilling sexual partner who is only that!
WarehouseGuy (original poster member #6037) posted at 3:55 AM on Thursday, October 24th, 2019
I'm worried about those feelings. I think that's what worries me the most. Don't really want to go there. Just me though. Maybe just don't want to get hurt again. IDK
whg
If you see your ex with someone else don't be jealous. Our parents taught us to give our old,used toys to the less fortunate.
WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 3:55 PM on Thursday, October 24th, 2019
I'm worried about those feelings. I think that's what worries me the most. Don't really want to go there. Just me though. Maybe just don't want to get hurt again. IDK
Have you been single all these years, since your divorce?
I certainly had those same fears. And I literally had to just dive right back in eventually, in spite of those fears. It's pretty terrifying, I agree.
Why don't you just be open to whatever? Do the friends with benefits thing if you want, but open yourself up to more possibilities with other women in the future. Dip your toes into dating. Just do it for fun with no real intentions. You never know who you might meet.
I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural
Hg65 ( member #49801) posted at 6:46 PM on Thursday, October 24th, 2019
“Hit it and quit it”
Very good.
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