Lord, give anyone strength in regards to having small children, when it comes to dealing with this shit.
The farther down, I've fallen into the rabbit hole, I have come to realize they really arent safe to be around children. Psychologists know this, but there is more money in Reconciling and "treating" these alleged addicts. It's because of this, that the court system sees it as nothing more than infidelity, in terms of custody battles.
There is no telling what they are capable of doing around their children, they literally get off on the taboo and they escalate it. The vast majority are victims of sexual abuse and are "acting out" with sick fantasies. There is nothing normal about perversion.
At minimal, they are viewing porn around their children, while doing God knows what. This could lead to inviting prostitutes over....you name it...
I recently asked my son if he witnessed his father's behavior...not something I wanted to do, but felt I had to...I feared abuse..he said he walked into our bedroom and believes he caught my husband viewing porn, why getting off... thankfully our living situation made it hard (haha) for husband to bring hookers home...we were living with my mother, for whom I caregiver.
In my situation, I suspected him of cheating, for quite some time...I confronted and he ignored or blame shifted.
The night before DD, my husband went on some financial rage about Durritos being eaten...I now realize it was due to pussy-withdrawl syndrome...I ran out into the night crying and my adult son was the only one concerned....
He tried to talk me back into coming home. Upon returning, my husband was sound asleep, while my son stayed up. It was at that moment that I informed my son that I suspected his father was cheating.
The next morning, I had this hunch to go into his email and found the receipt to the phone payment...I clicked the link and lo and behold, the cookies for the password allowed me in. The very first phone number I googled, turned out to be a prostitute less than half my age...nothing but TT from there...one became countless.
Anyone that knows me, knows that I am not computer savvy...I literally feel as though I was guided there.
I literally had no one to confide in and I called my son (he was at college) and informed him I was right and it was worse than I ever expected...
From that moment on, my son has picked me up from the floor a sobbing drunken mess....not my proudest moments. Thankfully, I have backed off some on that.
Sadly, I feel this has strained my relationship with my son, while his father blames me for telling my son what he has been up to... never taking responsibility for this.
I literally had another falling with my husband, the other night. We went out (HUGE MISTAKE ON MY PART) and my husband got angry at my confronting his mistreatment of me....he decided to walk into the house yelling, so that our son could hear...he knows this would hurt me....
The final blow...he is a trashy human being....a narcissist. These pieces of shit ruin the relationships with our children. There really isnt any "right way" to tell them.
Any way you look at it, our children will judge us...why did we pick them, why did we stay....they hear us cry and it hurts them... it's so heart wrenching and I hate my husband for it.
[This message edited by DashboardMadonna at 11:46 PM, August 16th (Friday)]