This Topic is Archived
Nycountrystrong (original poster member #53531) posted at 2:33 AM on Sunday, May 26th, 2019
I've talked in depth here before about the destruction of my marriage from infidelity, and abuse, and how I've made it through to the other side. There have been some terrible consequences from infidelity, and the destruction it causes in other peoples lives that I know this week.
My sons future b.i.l was in a relationship with a married woman for over a year. Multiple people in his life told him it was wrong, that he should end it, and that he was hurting himself and others with his actions. The woman he was involved with was twice his age, and had a m.o of finding young men to cheat with and then dumping them for the next one when the new wore off. He was " in love " and it was different than people thought and he couldn't be convinced otherwise.
Due to his actions I limited my contact with him as it was too triggering for me as it pissed me off to no end what him and this woman were doing. Well the husband found out... confronted him and his wife, and the woman he was cheating with dumped him, as she always did when things were found out that she was doing. He refused to believe they were done and continued to pursue contact with her. She had already moved on to her next fling.. but he was heartbroken and kept pursuing her, to the point his a.p filed a restraining order against him.
He tried to contact her again and the police ended up involved and this dumb kid panicked and ran. Hopped in his car and took off. The police pursued him... and he crashed. He lost his life.. his family who loved him and tried to guide him are devastated. Their lives will never be the same. The police officers car he hit head on when he lost control may never be the same from his injuries. His a.p... could care less, shes already on to her next conquest. The ripples of damage and pain from this cheating relationship are still spreading.
My son, and his longterm girlfriend, are all torn up inside, wondering what else they could have done to help prevent this situation. His parents are inconsolable at the loss of their son. His parents have also been notified that they may be sued , as they are his next of kin, and may lose everything they've built together over the last 30 years... the effects of infidelity are so destructive.. in ways people may never even realize..
I have no words to describe just how much of a mess this infidelity made of everyones life around this young man. And just how far reaching the effects of infidelity can truly be. A 23 year olds life is gone in the blink of an eye, and nothing will ever be the same in so many peoples lives.
The more people I meet the more I like my dogs !
BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 2:54 AM on Sunday, May 26th, 2019
I have no words. But it is crazy how far the destructive waves of infidelity go, and how tragic the consequences. My thoughts are with your son and his girlfriend..
[This message edited by BearlyBreathing at 4:51 PM, May 26th, 2019 (Sunday)]
Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)
**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **
Shehawk ( member #68741) posted at 4:53 AM on Sunday, May 26th, 2019
So very sorry. Infidelity hurts so many innocent people. My thoughts are with your son and his girlfriend as well as her family. May they find peace and healing and knowledge that there is nothing we can do to change another person's mind...People unfortunately often make their own poor choices despite the best advice.
[This message edited by Shehawk at 10:56 PM, May 25th (Saturday)]
"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!
josiep ( member #58593) posted at 12:52 PM on Sunday, May 26th, 2019
Sometimes I want to just scream and some people’s throats out. This one of those times. Infidelity is a pox on mankind.
My thoughts and prayers are with all of you left to deal with all the sadness and frustration
BW, was 67; now 74; M 45 yrs., T 49 yrs.DDay#1, 1982; DDay#2, May, 2017. D July, 2017
nightowl1975 ( member #32212) posted at 8:06 PM on Sunday, May 26th, 2019
What a sad situation. I will say given his age, his parents would be highly unlikely to be legally liable for his choices. Obviously they need to seek legal counsel. If their son had any assets, those obviously could be at risk (and rightfully so), but as an adult, his “next of kin” as his parents really aren’t liable from a lawsuit standpoint. They’ve got enough to worry about. I can’t imagine losing a child, much less losing one to their own foolish, selfish choices.
Me: 44
Ex: 52
D Day: 4/2010
Divorced: 7/2010
minusone ( member #50175) posted at 1:42 PM on Monday, May 27th, 2019
"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou
hopeandnohope ( member #43097) posted at 3:49 AM on Wednesday, May 29th, 2019
Very sad story.
If anyone gets sued it should be married AP for her hand in the young man's emotional destruction. She should be responsible for her actions
DD 2013. Divorce final March 2015.
PricklePatch ( member #34041) posted at 7:05 PM on Thursday, May 30th, 2019
How horrible! Thoughts and prayers!
northeasternarea ( member #43214) posted at 7:25 PM on Thursday, May 30th, 2019
This is a sad story. I don’t think his parents can be held liable for the actions of an adult child,
The only person you can change is yourself.
JanaGreen ( member #29341) posted at 4:02 PM on Friday, May 31st, 2019
That's just awful and tragic.
Marz ( member #60895) posted at 9:46 PM on Monday, June 3rd, 2019
Very tragic.
At 23 no one could stop him though.
steadychevy ( member #42608) posted at 12:20 AM on Tuesday, June 4th, 2019
Adultery. Victimless crime? Right? Unless get caught. Consequences. My heart goes out to your son and his girlfriend and to the police officer injured. His family suffers, too. The ripples of adultery spread far and wide.
BH(me)72(now); XWW 64; M 42 yrsDDay1-01/09/13;DDay2-26/10/13;DDay3-19/12/13;DDay4-21/01/14LTA-09/02-06/06? OM - COW 4 years; "dates" w/3 lovers post engagement;ONS w/stranger post commitment, lies, lies, liesSeparated 23/09/2017; D 16/03/2020
SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 1:30 AM on Tuesday, June 4th, 2019
This is heartbreaking. I am so sorry. I am sure you are very upset about this. (((((((Nycountrystrong))))))
BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson
This Topic is Archived
