Perhaps this "Pink Cloud" is some author's term for what sex addiction expert Patrick Carnes identified as the sexual anorexia phase in the cycle of sexual addiction. (Correct me if I get this wrong, but) I remember a diagram of a circle, with the sexual anorexia phase shown on the circle just after Discovery Shame.
I don't know about this pink cloud, either. It sounds like maybe a potentially longer-range mindset, not just a "temporary thing" like when therapists call sexual anorexia "a phase" in an ongoing cycle of addiction.
I can say that in my SAWH's case, I am almost sure whatever length his anorexic phase, it seemed to last at least 10 years after my D-Day 1, which is way longer than what books I read suggested as a general time frame. (My SAWH wasn't in therapy after the first year, he never joined a group, and he steadfastly refused to look at his deeper issues.) So yes, this phase or whatever state it is, can drag on for years, unless they get serious about making deeper-level brain changes and "doing the work," and if they do all that work, supposedly the partner will know it. At least...they say that.....
Immediately after D-Day 1, as I watched my SAWH, it seemed he must have thrown a switch, as he appeared to have no more sexual feelings, period. Which I figured was due to my boundary: I let him know that ANY sex with me was O.V.E.R., from that time forth and forever! (I know, I should have moved straight to D, But he was begging and pleading for a second chance, and I had just refinanced my home for us to buy another, and I had no job with which to make the jumbo payments. I was between a rock and a hard place, and refused to get screwed financially, too, if he suddenly left the country for his parents,' as I had reason to believe they hoped he'd do.)
The thing I noticed him struggle with the longest after D-Day 1, about two years at least, was glancing at any random blonde woman we might pass in the store or in a parking lot. Wow, it was instantaneous! Then when I mentioned it, he would almost always swear he wasn't! He was simply looking at something else...I'd reply "Sure, but funny how you suddenly need to look in the same direction." It got to where I could sense someone coming and watch him for his reaction, and 100% of the time, his eyes would dart in her direction, less than half a second after she came within our view...(ironically, he had NEVER looked at me that way, even when I was slender, sexy and had long blonde hair...in fact, making eye contact is still a problem he has - with me.)
Later on, like a year later, his excuse became "No, I wasn't...I just noticed sudden movement." Sure, except he didn't notice OTHER sudden movements! I could tell he was still in DENIAL for a few years, but eventually, I saw that behavior wane and I started to feel like perhaps he was a changed man....except he was still anorexic, no more touch, no hugs, no nothing! 12 years later, he got arrested for soliciting a prostitute. All that self-control work he did, just to end up with a criminal record for the rest of his life. How pathetic.
[This message edited by Superesse at 11:08 AM, April 11th (Thursday)]