SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Check and keep an eye on your phone bill online. I suspect once you review the billings you'll be shocked at what you find.

How long is your marriage? Kids ?

I don't know what to make of her loving another man. She was always home by 5:30. She never spent much time on the computer or phone at night. She was always around the house on the weekends. I don't know when she had time to love him except during the work day.

She said the sex was usually at lunch time.

Time will bring you clarity. Read the articles in the healing library it will bring you much knowledge. Which is what you need at this time.

You like most never expected this and need insight on what you need to do.

30 plus year marriage.

Two kids gone from the house.

Wife confessed after she was fired.

She explained why she was fired.

If she didn't tell me I would have eventually found out since I know people at her company and their spouses.

Hearing about the sex details are the hardest thing to bear as a man. It emasculates you. Us betrayed men know what this feels like. It’s like being knifed repeatedly. Remember, the shame is hers, not yours. You are not a lesser man. The bastard that had the affair with your man is. He’s scum. A turd who has no honour. If he cared for your wife he would never had have sex with her as she’s a married woman. Please look after yourself. It takes months just to settle yourself once you hear about all the details. My wife trickle truthed for weeks until I had all the evidence. Your gut instinct will tell you if she’s telling you the whole truth. Also, get her google email account and password. She should surrender that to you. Don’t tell her what you will do with it. If she’s got an android phone you can check on her whereabouts the last 2 years (the affair could have gone in for more). This will give you an opportunity to check on her story and verify details (hotel visits etc). Kudos to her employer on acting and dismissing both of them. Get to the other betrayed spouse and let her know of what you know. She deserves to know the truth if she doesn’t. And it blows the affair up completely.

I don't know what to make of her loving another man. She was always home by 5:30. She never spent much time on the computer or phone at night. She was always around the house on the weekends. I don't know when she had time to love him except during the work day.

She said the sex was usually at lunch time.

Most say this but cheaters always seem to find a way to make time for their affairs. Make no mistake. An affair trumps everything for the most part. Everything and everyone takes a backseat to it. You just may not have noticed at the time.

As you reflect back you'll probably connect the dots.

You should get an STD test. You don't know where or who else he's been with. I'd do that ASAP.

30 plus year marriage.

Jeeze, I'm sorry you're going through this. You sure as hell didn't deserve it. No one does.

We are here for you dude. Keep posting. Check out her google maps activity. And she’s in what we call the fog stage. Let people know what she did. It’s the best disinfectant to an affair. Blows things out of the water. Seek medical advice if you can’t sleep or function properly. You’re in for one hell of a rollercoaster. But you will survive. If you need to know the details tell her that if she doesn’t provide it all you will divorce her.

Make sure his wife knows. That's your first step.

Two year long affair makes me feel like the last two years were a lie.

I didn't notice any difference.

It could have been a four year long affair as far as I know or more.

Right now it seems like the end of the world. It's not you will pull through this.

Support is key. I know you're in shock but it's important not to stay in the victims chair.

She put you where you are but you are the one who has to get yourself out of this.

The one thing you can count on is you will probably not get the full truth upfront.

Was she still intimate with you during the affair?

During an LTA they live two separate lifestyles one with you and one with her other man.

Don’t be shocked if this isn’t her first affair. Cheaters lie. A lot.

You only have what she is telling you. They will only admit to what you also may find out. Not what you don’t. So, she must surrender her emails and passwords immediately and her phone to you. Don’t give her warning. If she doesn’t, tell her you will serve her divorce papers. And carry through your threat.

If she’s telling you that she doesn’t know if she’s in love or not with the asshole from work, that’s a worrying sign. She should be repentant. On her knees begging for forgiveness. But she’s in the fog and you need to get her to understand that if she doesn’t snap out of it immediately, she needs to leave the house.

You deserve better in your life. You gave her 30 years of marriage loyalty.

[This message edited by Mene at 12:53 AM, September 23rd (Sunday)]

Hello —

I am very sorry you find yourself here. Infidelity hurts immensely, especially if you have been married for thirty years. I am sure you are devastated and shocked.

She likely met (meets) up with her AP at lunchtime. Have you considered putting a PI on her? You could also put a GPS in her car.

Have you consulted with an attorney yet?

Do not tell your wife anything at this time. Mouth shut, eyes and ears open. You may get more info from the other mans wife at this time.

IMO, I'd go and stay with my brother for awhile.

No begging, pleading or crying for her. It will just lower your status. Get strong and stay there.

Keep communications to business only. You need time and space.

You have some thinking to do. Right now you are confused, shocked, etc.

[This message edited by Marz at 12:55 AM, September 23rd (Sunday)]

She did meet him at lunch most days of the week during the affair.

She hasn't left the house since she was caught.

I have not talked to an attorney.

I agree she should be begging for forgiveness but she is not. She has mostly been quiet.