SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

So she lost her job, lost her boyfriend, lost her husband, her children hate her, what can she do now? Tempt you with money.

The first question you should ask yourself is... Do you think she’s remorseful? Do you think she feels awful hurting you like this? Or is she playing the last card she can play after losing absolutely everything?

I guess what I’m trying to say is that if you ever consider R, it’s not money that you will need,

You’ll need remorseful WW that will be completely dedicated in healing you... for years to come.

Is she crying for her or for you right now?

She offered to give me the house and our 20 acres of land that abuts a state forest outside of any divorce agreement if I would come home and try to make our marriage work.

The house and land are worth at least one million dollars without the land being subdivided. If and when our little town allows it to be subdivided it will be worth much more.

My wife is bribing me to move back to our house with a minimum bid of one million dollars.

Run....do not walk....to a lawyer asap. Get this in writing. In a Post-nup. Whatever. Just make it legally binding.

.....she got a bunch of orgasms, you should al least get some assets..

[This message edited by ramius at 4:21 PM, September 25th (Tuesday)]

Did WW use a condom? I doubt it. 400 times with the

OM. You had to of gotten seconds dozens of times.

You need to take your time before you make any

decisions. You have a lot to sink in your mind and

process it all.

I suspect there will be conditions to her offer. For example, she will transfer her right to the property over to you only when she's satisfied that you made a good faith effort to work on the marriage.

Translation: Never going to happen

Since you dealing with a liar, she needs to sign off the property immediately and take your word that you will work on the marriage. For example, live with her for 6 months and go to marriage counseling?

This is a good time to have her forgo spouse support and/or a claim on your retirement.

Of course talk with your attorney for his advice.

Ripped62’s advice is spot on. See to it quickly that this gets written up and signed. No matter what you ultimately decide to do, at least you should be left in a stronger position.

Unfortunately for you WW has perfect conditions for enjoying cheating. A love making husband at home who was clueless about her animalistic pleasure. Cheaterts always need the care of the BS to enjoy cheating.

Tell OBS all the details of her pos husband 3-5 days at her home for two years. To me it still seems your W is treating this in a business like manner

Brother, this really sucks.

There's not much to add bc you're getting great advice.

One thing I do wanna point out....

Sex with him 5 times a week...she wasn't cheating on you with him. She was cheating on him with you. You were her OM. He was the main man in her life.

[This message edited by GoldenR at 4:52 PM, September 25th (Tuesday)]

This post may seem blunt but it is actually realistic.

If you divorce the best advice I can offer you is to treat it as a business negotiation. If you can start out by receiving $500,000 from the wayward spouse that involves your home and surrounding property then do so.

Please note that you may spend or liquidate much more than this dollar amount when divorcing and assets and liabilities are divided depending on your specific situation.

You need to see an attorney to protect yourself and your interests. You should do this promptly.

Please focus on the betrayal and infidelity of your wayward wife. To reconcile your wayward wife will have to address the part of herself that allowed her to have an affair. This will take a lot of work on her part. She will have to eliminate cheating and wayward behavior from ever being an option for her again.

She has been honest with you about the betrayal. You do not have to endure trickle truth. She told you what has transpired, frequency, and for how long. This is much more than many posters ever get in terms of "knowing the truth."

These are two elements of reconciliation that are normally espoused when trying to reconcile with your spouse after an affair. In my opinion she is doing some type of research or reading about affair recovery.

The paths of reconciliation or divorce may run parallel for sometime.

You may wish to look at it as

Recovery > Reconciliation > Rebuilt or new marriage if her and your reconciliation efforts are successful

Recovery > Reconciliation > Divorce if her and your reconciliation efforts are unsuccessful

I recognize this is simplistic but my point is to show you the paths run parallel for sometime.

You should focus on the betrayal and actions of your wayward wife not on the past number of sex acts or exclusivity. Your focus should be on the here and now with an eye toward the future.

Regarding divorce if you are 45 to 65 years of age or older it is likely you have had a lot of sexual experience.

I do not know what the younger members think we do when the children are out of the house but it is not watch TV. Among single ladies I may wish to date when my divorce is finalized I will find honesty and integrity. I will not find anyone that is inexperienced sexually. The number that is mentioned as a lot is extremely low. A man or woman my age very likely has engaged in thousands of sex acts.

Therefore, do not let exclusivity drive you to divorce.

I will state that normal does not exist in this regard.

I will let the younger members do the math. If you want the numbers, I can provide them.

Reconciliation takes time as does divorce. Protect yourself, recover, give yourself time to heal.

You know yourself, your wayward wife, and the specifics of your individual situation. The decision to attempt reconciliation or divorce is yours.

I don't know what I am going to do yet.

For now I am enjoying living at my brothers house on an amazing fishing lake. We have been fishing at dawn and dusk.

I feel happy that she came begging for me to come home and offered me our house and land to try again.

The transaction would entail getting legally divorced, splitting our assets in half except the house. I would get the house and land apart from the settlement. Then we would legally remarry with a prenuptial agreement giving me the house and land.

Again, this would help a lot because our town will eventually allow us to subdivide the land and its value will increase considerably. It would be a shame to split it now.

Discuss this with your attorney.

Maybe have her attorney draw up the papers to transfer her right to the property immediately vs include it in a post nup.

Why? A post nup is a contract and something she can argue about later (duress,insanity, depression) or she can refuse outright to honor the prenup - forcing you to spend thousands suing her in court.

It's cleaner and less problematic to have her transfer her right to the property immediately.

She's trying to buy R from you, I would counter with no assurance to remarry even with a prenup, show her that integrity and trust doesn't have a price and that you would only consider re-marrying if you feel she's changed, does the heavy lifting to become a safe partner but that it's a chance/risk she must be willing to take and that you will give it your best effort, remember she shattered the blind trust you had for her therefore she has to earn it back not purchase it from you. Tell her you won't make a decision to re-marry for at least 2 years (the duration of her A).

I know you can't turn back time, but would you have taken that deal if your WW said 2 years ago, take the house and the land and let me have sex 3-5 times a week with OM and humiliate you ? Of course not, so again counter if you're considering to R but do it under your own conditions.

[This message edited by Buster123 at 5:45 PM, September 25th (Tuesday)]

She has been honest with you about the betrayal. You do not have to endure trickle truth. She told you what has transpired, frequency, and for how long. This is much more than many posters ever get in terms of "knowing the truth.

Unless this is TT itself, the proverbial "tip of the iceberg".

Sir, you should run. With all possible haste.

Sir, you should run. With all possible haste

I don't know. Maybe get this in writing and then leave if things aren't different. If she's offering $500K I'd take it.

[This message edited by beenthereinco at 6:12 PM, September 25th (Tuesday)]

The transaction would entail getting legally divorced, splitting our assets in half except the house. I would get the house and land apart from the settlement.

Yes, that is what it would take.

Then we would legally remarry with a prenuptial agreement giving me the house and land.

I would suggest you make no agreement concerning this part. Make it clear that, once you are divorced, you are open to dating her if she can show you that she is somebody worth dating. This means showing that she has fixed herself and built a character that is honorable and trustworthy. It also means figuring out how to heal your wounded masculinity.

It sounds like your wife has the potential to be remorseful but I would go no further than that. Hopefully Stevesn will send you his list of requirements with respect to identifying a remorseful wife.

I am normally supportive of reconciliation with a remorseful wife but I have to say this is a very hard ask. I don't think I can recollect any affair on this site where the cheating parties were so remorseless in the undertaking and execution of an affair. It is quite mind boggling.

How can she even look herself in the mirror never mind looking at you. Does she not see what she has done and how she has not only disrespected you, her marriage, her family but herself. If none of these then she is not even close to being remorseful.

p.s you might also ask her how she feels about having sex in the house of OBS 3-5 times a week and how OBS must feel. Talk about moral corruption...

[This message edited by SorrowfulMoon at 8:17 PM, September 25th (Tuesday)]

This from Sorrowful Moon ⬆️ X 1000. It is rather breathataking that she can go from having sex 500 times with another man to wanting to work on the marriage

I find it hard to believe she didn’t develop serious feelings for him. Please be careful, she is in full on desperation mode.

Postnuptial agreements are much harder to enforce and are more easily defeated. What you can and can't do with a postnup really depends on state law. Please consult with legal counsel from your area.

A prenuptial as you delineated is the preferred means of protecting personal assets and may be the only remedy available to you depending on the state that you are a resident of.

Also, I suggest you discuss with an attorney what splitting your assets

with your wayward wife and associated divorce costs will be. This way you have an understanding of the financial impact you will incur.

Please take care of yourself.

I am sorry for the hard choices your wife has bestowed upon you.

[This message edited by Ripped62 at 8:03 PM, September 25th (Tuesday)]

*Dumplicate*

[This message edited by Mene at 8:17 PM, September 25th (Tuesday)]

3-5 times a week at his house for 2 years? She’s in her 50s and he’s in his 40s... It just sounds so over the top. It hasn’t been 500 times cause there are school holidays, National Holidays and other days where the OBS would be home on weekdays but we get the drift that she’s had a lot of sex with him. What an asshole for doing that in his home and how disrespectful that is to his wife alone. Had your wife shown remorse for his wife? Ask her that. Has she? If she hasn’t, she has no morals whatsoever. This is very concerning.

3-5 times a week with someone the same over 2 years sounds like she’s under some type of stupid spell of his. You’d think they’d get bored of it after 6 months. It’s human nature to. Does he have something over her? Did he blackmail her? Does she have a sex addiction?

Dude, I’m not going to tell you what you should do. It sounds really gut wretching stuff. We’ve all been through it. The next few weeks and months are going to be hard.

[This message edited by Mene at 8:15 PM, September 25th (Tuesday)]