SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Thanks, WD, but you really have to be careful with words like that. Next thing you know, NTV will be in here making fart jokes.

Just to clarify, because I know exit statements are against the guidelines, this is not an exit statement. I do need to take a break, though, as I am extremely codependent, and knowing that she is reading every single word I type now influences my posts. I don't want to post if I can't be my real self anymore. I will be back.

God speed Losfer -

Well, you just said you wouldn't post anything critical... I'm pretty sure that if she's reading with the intention of gathering information to get a step ahead during divorce, then if we use fart joke analogies to proffer advice for said d plans and counters, then there is a chance she will busy herself attempting to decipher said jokes into meaningful steps.

So I propose, you describe someone else's divorce plans in details using fart analogies.

And even if you chose not to, you understand that I myself am incapable of holding gaseous punchlines embedded into embellishing established legal exit procedures.

Which is why, even though I am not divorcing, I had made plans to do so that may benefit you to hear. Complexities, not withstanding, I planned to fart on her in the courtroom if she didn't want to smell my fart during mediation. The premediation fart was really a 50/50 tacobell and crystal burger amalgam that culminated in the warning phase of 'hey this might stink a little, so if you don't wanna smell if, go somewhere else' disclosure. The mediation phase, it was a series of small farts each one with no real worth, but several silent but deadlies were distributed mixed in between to make it a confusing endeavor for all parties. Even my own lawyer, who would know what brought on the SBDs would not necessarily be able to discern which in fact were SBDs and which were the small innocent farts that had no real nostral threat. If such a barrage of farts did not allow me to relieve significant bowel pressure, only then would I proceed to courtroom megafart explosions. Although, ultimately, I kinda wanted to go megafart, because, I mean I prepared for it by eating a dozen deviled eggs with bacon. It seems like a loss not to inleash planned megafarts to destroy my enemies. Kwim?

I call this the 'Wild Fart Chase' strategy. Made just for you losfer.

I lived outside Stuttgart .... got to see the Berlin Wall come down while I was there.

OD,

I think our time and location may have overlapped. I wasn't in the military, but going to university about that time (mid/late 80's) and near that location.

Losfer, see you when you can make it back on your own terms.

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Sitting here in in a hospital waiting room in STL waiting for dad's heart surgery to finish. They're doing an aortic valve replacement. If you all could keep your fingers crossed, that would be appreciated.

I wish you the best, Los.

Fingers crossed, tbk.

See you on the other side, Los. Sending strength.

Any ideas about this?

Day D was over two years ago, we are working on R.

However I find it really difficult to have conversations with my wife about every day things, like chit chat.

Take for example, we went out for dinner, just the two of us, I just have nothing to say! It's like my mind goes blank.

She says the only thing I talk about is her affairs.

Hope to see you again soon, Los.

Best wishes for your Dad's surgery, tbkjcn.

All the best, Los.

tbkjcn - my dad had this same surgery last year and is doing well. The recovery for my dad was pretty rough, but after a few hiccups he is great.

NTV - I think we all want to go megafart...mic drop moment, so thanks for the imagery.

Any ideas about this?

Day D was over two years ago, we are working on R.

However I find it really difficult to have conversations with my wife about every day things, like chit chat.

Take for example, we went out for dinner, just the two of us, I just have nothing to say! It's like my mind goes blank.

She says the only thing I talk about is her affairs.

Do you believe your wife about the amount of affairs she's had? Do you wonder why she's with you? I read your bio and it seems like there is a lot you don't know and subconsciously you steer the conversation back to affairs because you hope she somehow slips up.

tbkjcn,Best wishes for you and your Dad! Hope the surgery went well.

Do you believe your wife about the amount of affairs she's had? Do you wonder why she's with you? I read your bio and it seems like there is a lot you don't know and subconsciously you steer the conversation back to affairs because you hope she somehow slips up.

I think you are right, I'm not 100% that there aren't more affairs or more unknown details about the one I know about.

I not 100% sure why she is and like all of us I'm not sure she love me or I'm just plan B

Hope the surgery went well.

It did. They took him back at about 8 am and they woke him up and removed the ventilator about 9:30pm. He's on or ahead of the recovery curve according to the surgeon, but it's going to be a while before he's recovered enough to do more then shuffle down the hall a ways and back. I expect he'll be in the hospital at least thru the end of the weekend. Dr. said "about 5 days, if everything goes well." We'll see.

The fun part is my middle sister who was there ended up in the ER with a DVT that developed after moving her son into his college room last week and resting a piece of furniture on her thigh, you know how you do when you want to adjust your grip? Caused a big bruise and then her whole leg started swelling and turning purple while we were doing dads pre-op tests and stuff Tuesday. So i got my dad at one end of the hospital and a sister at the other end. They let her out yesterday afternoon so I've been pushing her wheelchair back and forth from the on-site hotel to dads hospital room. Keep threatening to leave her in some random corner with the brake on unless she pays me money, or let go of her at the top of one of the walkways that connects the buildings of this massive hospital complex..... you know, like a good brother would.....

I find it really difficult to have conversations with my wife about every day things,

It was really, really hard and awkward to talk to my wife for a long time after D-day. Then I realized... Hey! I'm married to a stranger... (light bulb clicked) So.. .I started asking her questions about things that I thought I already knew the answer too.

If she brought up a topic, I would drill down on the topic into deeper detail. If I couldn't do that any more, then I would abstract the topic and ask what she like/didn't like about it. Why she liked/didn't like it etc etc. If that didn't work, I would go on a tangent with the topic... for example... You had a red car, I remember this one time back in high school, this guy had a red car and we ____ <fill in the blank> ... and then I would use that to start a new subject.

If that doesn't work, then talk about farts... NTV can help with that.

Happy Friday Gents!!!!

Have a fantastic weekend!

tbkjcn -- I'm happy to hear that your father's surgery and recovery is going so well.

How is your sister doing?

When the shit hits the fan it tends to hit you in clumps...

I hope the weekend is good for ya!

'Wild Fart Chase'

as opposed to 'domesticated farts'?

Blueboy, this is common. Or at least it makes sense to me. I have been out with my wife a few times since and I just sit there. As you mention, I have nothing at all to say.

Because she is no longer a friend. I don't want to share anything with her. I don't want to praise her up, tell her she looks nice or expose any of my vulnerabilities any more. It's really sad but that's what I realised. You can't fake that stuff.

I have another female friend who goes to one of my kids classes with her kids and I realised we just laugh and chat away like we have done for 30 odd years. It's nice. I don't have that with WW any more. It's all about infidelity or kids or money or some other thing.

I don't know what else to say. I think there is a huge amount of 'attachment' between long term couples which we often confuse with love. It's heartbreaking, to me at least. But I don't want to sit at the bar with her,any more. I can think of 30 or so people who I would rather sit with and some of them are edgy! I don't want to walk hand in hand through a forest as the leaves fall. There would be nothing to talk about or if there was it would be artificial.

At first he assumed they were a herd of wild farts galloping through the room but upon an unpleasant closer examination realized they were thoroughly domesticated?

recovery is going so well.

It is, all in all. There's a few issues, but all minor. They had to put in another chest tube because the original one wasn't getting all the seepage out. He's been having a bit of a-fib today but it isn't bad and the dr isn't concerned. says it happens in about half the cases and resolves in 98%.

How is your sister doing?

She's fine, so long as she keeps off her feet. But for some reason she asked that I not push her wheelchair anymore, and that my little sister do it. Go figure.....

it tends to hit you in clumps

Yeah, well, I've gotten used to that the last few years. I actually didn't even go into half the shit that's been hitting the fan round these parts....

So far as the current topic of talking to the WW goes, I'm afraid I don't have much input there, as I only saw mine twice after d-day+2weeks. But I have to imagine it must have something to do with realizing "I don't know this person anymore" and "can I trust this person with my inner thoughts anymore" (like lawyer man noted). It's hard to open up to someone you a) don't know and b) may not trust.