I agree with a lot of what Butforthegrace writes, but I think I'm happier now than before my W's A, and I was a happy man before the A. I also think R requires work by both partners.
At this point, I urge you to let go of the outcome. Heal yourself; that prepares you to D, to R, and to wait before deciding. Take control of your own life, feelings, actions.
Work to let go of your anger, grief, fear, and shame. That doesn't mean stuffing your pain; I mean finding safe ways to express it and let it go. (This is a long-term project - lots of pain takes lots of time to process. And note that there's no logical reason for shame, but most of us feel it anyway.)
Have faith in yourself to heal.
Let your W take care of her own healing. If she does the work, she'll be a good candidate for R, and R is possible, if you want it.
You get to choose - D, R, or wait for more info. But IMO, BSes need to heal some before they can make the best decision for themselves.
I've gotta brag about reaching a milestone that seemed beyond my reach.
I used to ride my bike at 16-18 mph; that was 30-odd years ago. Towards the end of the Summer, I'd ride 100-150 miles on the weekend, with 150-200 miles normal for a week. One year I rode 2000 miles between mid-May and mid-October while holding a full-time IT job - on call 24 X 7, typically at work or commuting 11-12 hours/day.
I stopped riding in '92, rode again 2001-2003, stopped. On 7/5/13, I was watching the Tour de France on TV, and I remembered I used to enjoy riding my bike. I turned off the TV, pumped up my tires, and started riding.
But I was slow. Slow. An hour to do a 10 mile ride. I got a little faster each year, but I still rode slow.
My local bike club has rides at various speeds - 10-12 mph, 13-15 mph, 15-17, 17+. Up to now, I've had to go with the slowest group.
Over the last month, I've been riding faster consistently. I'm now capable of staying with the 13-15 mph group. And even though I'm faster now than at any time in the past 6 years, I recover faster, too. I am very happy about this.