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Newest Member: Natasa

Just Found Out :
No idea how to proceed

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OneInTheSame ( member #49854) posted at 8:57 PM on Tuesday, August 22nd, 2017

Unless the service crashes his life over this, your wayward wife is a goner. With his history and MO she is playing with fire and has her eyes closed. Your best bet is to escape without any more damage to yourself than is absolutely necessary. If you haven't already, I think divorce papers on the kitchen counter are overdue . . . .

An e-7 in the navy is chief petty Officer @ $69,000 a year. When did you report him and to whom? Have you submitted all the requested information yet? Do not delay!

And I do believe you are correct: your wife is suffering some kind of mental fracture. She is not thinking in a right mind. I am sorry you have kids that she is involving in her nightmarish melodrama.

[This message edited by OneInTheSame at 3:04 PM, August 22nd (Tuesday)]

(I edit to correct typos)
I am the BS in a lesbian marriage. My WW's ex-girlfriend was the AP.
D-day of the 6 mo A was 10/04/15
We are doing okay, but by now I wanted it to be better

posts: 2535   ·   registered: Oct. 6th, 2015   ·   location: Pacific Northwest
id 7953503
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 Gw5263 (original poster member #60150) posted at 9:03 PM on Tuesday, August 22nd, 2017

To JAG, base commander , and I'm debating on NCIS

posts: 186   ·   registered: Aug. 13th, 2017   ·   location: Kentucky
id 7953510
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OneInTheSame ( member #49854) posted at 9:05 PM on Tuesday, August 22nd, 2017

I believe the more you wave red flags, the greater the chance of getting this guy detained safely away from others. His history is frightening and deplorable!

[This message edited by OneInTheSame at 3:06 PM, August 22nd (Tuesday)]

(I edit to correct typos)
I am the BS in a lesbian marriage. My WW's ex-girlfriend was the AP.
D-day of the 6 mo A was 10/04/15
We are doing okay, but by now I wanted it to be better

posts: 2535   ·   registered: Oct. 6th, 2015   ·   location: Pacific Northwest
id 7953512
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OrdinaryDude ( member #55676) posted at 9:20 PM on Tuesday, August 22nd, 2017

Yeah, I'd involve NCIS too.

I was young and dumb and stayed with a cheater.

posts: 3427   ·   registered: Oct. 19th, 2016   ·   location: U.S.
id 7953531
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OrdinaryDude ( member #55676) posted at 9:20 PM on Tuesday, August 22nd, 2017

**double tap**

[This message edited by OrdinaryDude at 3:21 PM, August 22nd (Tuesday)]

I was young and dumb and stayed with a cheater.

posts: 3427   ·   registered: Oct. 19th, 2016   ·   location: U.S.
id 7953532
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 Gw5263 (original poster member #60150) posted at 9:56 PM on Tuesday, August 22nd, 2017

No telling what instructions he's given her. She turned down divorce several times and now all of a sudden wants it. She's spent most of the night last night talking to him and left early for work today to talk to him. Probably talking to him now on the way home. I wish I knew what they had planned... I have a VAR so I'll use it when ever we talk.

posts: 186   ·   registered: Aug. 13th, 2017   ·   location: Kentucky
id 7953593
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M1965 ( member #57009) posted at 11:39 PM on Tuesday, August 22nd, 2017

Actually, if she uses a car to get to work, you could put a second VAR in the car (velcro'd under the driver's seat) to record what is said. Such recordings may not be legal as evidence in your state, but they will give you some additional insight.

posts: 1277   ·   registered: Jan. 21st, 2017   ·   location: South East of England
id 7953712
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HellFire ( member #59305) posted at 11:56 PM on Tuesday, August 22nd, 2017

No. You need to have that VAR on you at all times, and turned on,at ALL times. You're assuming she might pick a fight,and then call the police. Which might happen. It's also just as likely that you will be sitting on the couch, watching TV,when the cops knock on your door to arrest you for domestic violence. Your wife might go as far as to injure herself. Then it's your word against hers. And if she has a noticable injury, you're going to jail. A VAR will protect you.

But you are what you did
And I'll forget you, but I'll never forgive
The smallest man who ever lived..

posts: 6822   ·   registered: Jun. 20th, 2017   ·   location: The Midwest
id 7953729
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Dyokemm ( member #40254) posted at 6:02 AM on Wednesday, August 23rd, 2017

I was a junior officer in the Navy much earlier in life.....

Man is this POS lucky I'm not his division officer.....

I crushed a petty officer who was a rat like this in my division one time......sleeping with a shipmate's WW.

Filed the formal charges to the CO myself when it was revealed to me.

Hope the bastard gets his career ruined.....

Scumbag.

posts: 440   ·   registered: Aug. 10th, 2013
id 7953998
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 Gw5263 (original poster member #60150) posted at 7:22 AM on Wednesday, August 23rd, 2017

Dyokemm I am calling back today for a follow up with the Base Commanders office. Will he be placed on no contact pending the investigation? I forgot to ask(one reason for the call back) and they didn't say. I want him to burn for what he has and continues to do to my family. He knew the risks when he started down this path. He placed his career in jeopardy knowingly so I feel no remorse.

posts: 186   ·   registered: Aug. 13th, 2017   ·   location: Kentucky
id 7954024
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Sharkman ( member #56818) posted at 9:36 AM on Wednesday, August 23rd, 2017

It's not her option to turn down divorce. Have her served.

I'm not saying GET divorced, but she's obviously not leaving the affair so what choice do you have. She does not have magical powers that need to be exercised to let a divorce through.

Plus with financial concerns YOU NEED TO PROTECT YOURSELF. She could be taking out a loan as we speak, one which you conceivably could partially be on the hook for.

posts: 1788   ·   registered: Jan. 11th, 2017
id 7954061
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OneTimeisEnough ( member #55449) posted at 4:18 PM on Wednesday, August 23rd, 2017

I agree with the majority of others.

See an attorney, get your evidence into two safe places, give her x amount of time to go NC with him, if she says no, then you expose him to his CO and start the D process. You are better than Plan B!!!!!!!!!

As other's have said, filing for D isn't final. It's the start of the process and it can be stopped.

Get your home back for you and your kids. Stop being Mr Nice guy hoping she comes back to you!!!!

I am so sorry this is and has happened. Hang in there. Know your worth for you and your kids.

If you let this slide, it will more than likely happen again.

Me: 33
WH 34
Married since12/12
DS 2 yo DD 9 months
EA started 11/15 PA happened once in 3/15. Wanted to R but feeling more like D

posts: 299   ·   registered: Oct. 3rd, 2016
id 7954315
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Dismayed2012 ( member #49151) posted at 4:48 PM on Wednesday, August 23rd, 2017

Glad to see that you're taking control of your and your kids' lives. I support what you're doing. You cheater will continue to kick and complain; let her. She's not worth your emotion or your time. She will also soon see the OM for what he is. That's when her world and choices will suddenly come crashing down on her cheating head. Keep pushing forward.

Infidelity sucks. Freedom rocks.

posts: 1802   ·   registered: Aug. 21st, 2015   ·   location: Central KY
id 7954366
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antlered ( member #46011) posted at 5:05 PM on Wednesday, August 23rd, 2017

Ordinary man was this intentional?

Yeah, I'd involve NCIS too.

then

**double tap**

"A double tap is a shooting technique where two shots are fired in rapid succession at the same target with the same sight picture..."

She turned down divorce several times and now all of a sudden wants it.

POSOM probably wants her divorced as a ploy to take the heat off of him. He may not know that the package is already en route or is hoping to mitigate fallout.

At any rate I'll bet a lot of us here are living vicariously through you as rarely is there a situation where the OM actually suffers consequences for fucking other people's lives(wives).

You are doing well!

"Being cheated on was at once the worst and best thing that has ever happened to me.

"There is a huge amount of strength to be had from walking the path of integrity."

posts: 1297   ·   registered: Dec. 18th, 2014
id 7954394
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beenthereinco ( member #56409) posted at 5:20 PM on Wednesday, August 23rd, 2017

The OM is aware he is exposed and probably counseling her to get the D started so he can claim none of this started until you were legally separated.

posts: 1429   ·   registered: Dec. 13th, 2016
id 7954409
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OrdinaryDude ( member #55676) posted at 5:45 PM on Wednesday, August 23rd, 2017

Yes I know what double tap means (I'm an avid gun guy), I often use it in jest when I accidentally double post, that's all.

No additional meaning implied.

I was young and dumb and stayed with a cheater.

posts: 3427   ·   registered: Oct. 19th, 2016   ·   location: U.S.
id 7954440
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MidnightRun ( member #59434) posted at 11:11 PM on Thursday, August 24th, 2017

Did the packet to the military contain ALL the affair evidence, and timeline?

Usually, loverboys think they are the smartest guys in the room, which works to your advantage. They usually trip up, particularly when running scared.

Stay on point.

[This message edited by MidnightRun at 5:20 PM, August 24th (Thursday)]

posts: 1562   ·   registered: Jun. 30th, 2017   ·   location: CT
id 7955665
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Stevesn ( member #58312) posted at 8:11 AM on Saturday, August 26th, 2017

Gw

How's it going?

fBBF. Just before proposing, broke it off after her 2nd confirmed PA in 2 yrs. 9 mo later I met the wonderful woman I have spent the next 30 years with.

posts: 3686   ·   registered: Apr. 17th, 2017
id 7956760
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 Gw5263 (original poster member #60150) posted at 10:44 AM on Saturday, August 26th, 2017

It's going kind of odd actually. She is talking to me very pleasant, and being very nice. It would appear to an outsider like this never happened. I've noticed some other odds things that don't mean much on the surface but did help me find out about the affair. Now she will leave her phone unattended. She wants to tell me about her day, if she gets a text she says who it's from. OM bought her a little stone bead bracelet which she no longer wears. And he used to like anything she posted on face book. I mean anything.... and since Monday he hasn't liked any and there have been ten. I have my guard up. Just don't get what's going on. She went from livid that I was back Monday to this Friday.

posts: 186   ·   registered: Aug. 13th, 2017   ·   location: Kentucky
id 7956776
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moxamm ( member #60285) posted at 11:09 AM on Saturday, August 26th, 2017

var all the time

i smell a trap

posts: 66   ·   registered: Aug. 22nd, 2017
id 7956781
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